washington dc

today i went to washington dc. i had to wake up at 4 30 in the morning because it was a 4 hour ride to dc. i slept through the whole trip there. we stopped at a mcdonalds in maryland. the feel maryland gave you was indeed different from the one new york or california gave you. i slept some more and we finally arrived to dc. when i got out of the car i thought i was going to freeze to death. shoot. if i had stood there for 1 hour, i would have frost bite and died. foreals.

upon our arrival to dc, i was amazed to see that dc was nothing like i imagined. i watched countless of movies portraying a fabulous side of dc that i really thought as majestic, since you know... the president is there and everything, but nahhh. it was nothing like that. i suppose you could say it was aite and decent place to go to. there is not many places to see.

we took pictures with lincoln and jefferson. i also took pics at the white house. the white house is huge. ginormous. mansionistic. to end our trip, we ended it at capitol hill. when i arrived at jefferson's memorial, i seriously thought that they filmed forrest gump there, and i was like, dude this looks nothing like the part in the movie. but i soon realized that i was wrong. the part was filmed in front of lincoln's memorial. dang there was some beautiful view to the washington monument. for some silly reason, i imagined that scene in forest gump, where the protestors were doing a rally, and had war veterans talk about the war infront of thousands of people. and then there was that part where forest gump comes up and speaks, but no one can hear him because someone unplugged the mic. at the end of his speech, jinny or jenny comes running across the water to see forest. and so they got reunited. for a short time.

after the end of the tour, we went to eat at a korean restaurant in virginia, because my dad and my mom had to meet with their good friend, who they had previously met in chile. we had a short meeting and left back to new york. again. i slept the whole ride up.

i ate at my uncle's restaurant. it was pretty good. i had quesadillas and mini hamburgers.

then went to my aunt's house in new jersey. and babysat for the rest of the night because all the aunts and uncles and parents went to drink.

dang my grandma got hella old. she can't walk anymore. and she is not as energetic as before because before, she used to scold me left and right. for some reason i think its good, but on the other hand, i also feel bad.

had a pretty good day overall.

coming to an end

tomorrow im going to washington dc. just for a day. we are going to drive there. road trip. man. i dont want to go. i hate car rides. a 4 hour one. the only reason im going is because ive never been there. at least ill get to see the white house.

today i didnt do anything. stayed at my gomo's house. actually woke up at 4 20, so didnt have much to do either. i heard that today was really cold. wasted a day.

cachantun

regrese de la cabaña en en la mañana y me tuve ke levantar temprano para ir a dejar a mis primos y a mi hermano a la iglesia pk hoy ellos van al surioneh de su iglesia. despues de dejado en la iglesia, mis papa, mama, tia, tio, otra tia, hermana y prima fuimos a comer a un restaurante koreano. al terminar, fuimos a buscar a mi abuela. llegamos de nuevo a la la casa de mi 큰 고모. mi papa, mama, y todas mis 고모s llevaron a mi abuela al 찜질 방. yo me kede en casa cuidando a mi hermana y a mis primos. me kede en la casa desde las 5 de la tarde hasta las 12 de la noche cuidandolos. enverdad nisikera supe lo ke estaban haciendo todo el tiempo pk yo estaba en la compu haciendo lo mio. ya me kiero ir a mi casa.

hoy, por la primera vez siento ke hice algo ke se merece premio de mejor hermana. en verda no es para tanto, pero igual siento ke por primer vez, hice algo ke me hace sentir como buen hermana. normalmente, siempre me altero mucho cuando me enojo. hoy dia, mi hermana fue rechazada por mi prima. la ke admira mi hermana. si debo decir ke mi hermana molesta arto y es demasiada latosa, pero igual es mi hermana. hoy dia mi prima la llamo "annoying". y no la dejo jugar con su wii, y tp la dejo participar en los juegos ke estaban jugando ella, jason y victoria. al oir esto me enoje, pero no lo mostre y me solprende. normalmente, hubiera llamado a mi prima y le hubiera dado un charla. eske siempre pienso ke tengo el maximo poder cuando soy la mayor y solo pk grito y castigo, pienso ke se va a solucionar todo. pero se muy bien ke eso nunk va a funcionar. asike hoydia tome ruta diferente. en vez de gritar, y agitarme, decidi calmarme y decirle a mi hermana ke se calmara y ke todo estria bien. a mi prima la llame para ke entendiera pk mi hermana es asi, y para ke pudiera controlar su enojo. todo lo dije en buena voluntad, con tranquilidad, y con una sonrisa. nunk en mi vida le he hablado a alguien asi. yo misma me sorprendi a lo ke hice. pk enverdad creo ke dentro de mi habia un resentimiento contra ella por haber tratado a mi hermana asi. y me sorprende mucho ke no le grite. pero creo ke eso es por lo mejor. al final, mi hermana hablo con ella y todo volvio a lo normal.

debo decir ke siempre actuo como odio a mis hermanos, y parece ke nunk hago nada para ellos, pero en verdad, al final del dia, son mis hermanos, estamos unidos por sangre. y dicen ke la sangre es mas gruesa ke el agua. asike en verdad yo haria cualkier cosa por mis hermanos y ojala ke ellos tb lo supieran.

comi mucho hoy. me duele la guata. la cago.

mountain creek

today, i went to my cousin's church. i went to the adult service with all the adults. i haven't been in one in a long time because i usually fall asleep, but surprisingly today, i didn't. i wasn't listening to the sermon though. maybe thats why. after service, we went straight to the mountains. we came to a place called mountain creek or maybe thats the ski place. im not sure. the resort we are staying at is quite nice. they have tennis courts and basketball courts inside the place. after waiting around for some time, me, my brother and 2 cousins went to mountain creek to ski. initially, i was going to snowboard, but i ended up skiing because there was no one to snowboard with since my brother and my cousins were going to ski too. im also a beginner, which means that i would be at the bunny slope all the time, by myself. that would be no fun.
skiing was fun. last time i did was in chile over the summer.

when i come back home, i will try to snowboard.
i broke a nail. its bothering me.

i want a EOS rebel XSi. its pretty expensive though. im thinking of taking a photography decal next semester. we'll see. (why do people say "we'll see" when its only me that will see. its not even see, its will do. dang im confused.)

on friday, while on the plane ride to new york, i spilled water on my netbook. so sad. the keyboards where water spilled are not functioning too well, its hard to press on it, so basically its not smooth when i try to press on it. especially the delete and shift button dont work very well and those buttons i usually use the most.



peace out.

patobomba.

dormi hoy a las 5 de la mañana y me tuve ke despertar a las 12. me duche y salimos a buscar a mi abuela. despues de recogerla fuimos a la casa de mi 큰 고모. tome una siesta for unas 3 buenas horas antes de ke me despertaran para ir a comer a la casa de mi 작은 고모. ahi se juntaron todos denuevo menos 둘째 고모 y 고모부 y mi prima chica. comimos cena y despues fui a ver tele. el internet esta conectado a la tele asike vimos drama koreana llamada "iris". escuche ke era muy buenas asike lo vi pero no me gusto mucho, mas encima escuche ke el final del drama estuvo horrible. en la casa de mi 작은 고모, hay un 노래방 기계 asike cante. duhh. solo cante 4 canciones pk los adultos kerian cantar, asike yo cante lo mio y me fui para arriba. ahora me estoi kedando en la casa de mi 큰 고모.

hoy senti ke no hice mucho. pero mañana sera mejor. tenemos ke levantarnos bien temprano para salir a la iglesia en la mañana y despues salimos a las montañas para eskiar o lo ke sea.

hoy lluvio todo el dia. aun no nieva. ojala ke nieve mañana. voy a empesar a tomar fotos mañana. voy a tomar foto de todo. ahora tengo ganas de comprarme una camara profesional. kiero una canon.

se me mejoraron los ojos por haber usado lentes desde el miercoles. creo ke es pk descanse mis ojos. pero hoy me puse contactos y poreso note ke se habia mejorado el ojo iskierdo. voy a tener ke dormir sin contactos desde ahora para ke no se empeoren.

al agua pato.

meri kuri

today i woke up at 7 35, even though i had a 1 o clock flight. i slept for about 4 hours because i couldnt go to sleep at night.

there is something about airports and plane rides that i dread. ive been in countless airplane rides since i was born. i must say that it must be more than 100 rides ive been in. what i hate even more, is the smell of the airplanes. i just dont like airports and airplanes. what is worse is that today, at the JFK airport, they lost one of our bags. actually, it was mine. yea. definitely not cool. so we have to wait until tomorrow to find out where it went.

the decent part of the day was the airplane ride. virgin airlines is pretty tight. i think the best airplane in the states ive been on so far. they have a tv, but not just any, its like super high techy. the lights are pretty legit. they have like purple for first class, and a pinkish color for the econ class. they even had free internet on air. which i thought was off the hook. actually, they only have free internet unil the 15th of jan. i think im just going to buy tickets from virgin airlines whenever i travel.

now im at my 둘째 고모's house. everyone is here.
큰 고모's family
작은 고모's family.
there is about 10 cousins right now.
im the oldest -___-
pretty sad. the oldest after me, is my brother's age. there is 3 of my brother's age. and then they go younger and younger. internet makes up for my loner status. if i didnt i would die of boredom. i dont know if that made sense.

everyone said i gained weight. expected.

it rained today. the snow is going to melt :(
im going up the mountains on sunday. i dont know whether to board or ski. i already ski, but ive only boarded once and i find boarding quite difficult.

new york is not as cold as i thought it be.

happy jesus day. (even though people say he wasn't really born in december.)
whatever i dont know.

vispera de navidad

hoy, deberia haber sido un dia donde se celebra. debio haber sido la cena antes de navidad. pero hoy, eso no paso en mi casa. hoy dia, teniamos ke haber comido cena todos juntos, me refiero a mi familia. creo ke nisikiera comimos. no lo encontre gran cosa no haber comido todos juntos pk pense ke igual ibamos a celebrarlo de un modo u otro en nueva york con todos mis parientes. pero lo ke me pego duro fue lo ke me dijo mi mama esta noche.

nunk pense ke a mi mama le importaba tanto el hecho de comer todos juntos el dia antes de navidad. ayer en la noche, mis papas peliaron. y fue por mi culpa. pense ke hoy ya todo estaria bien y normal pero me ekivoke. mi papa siguio con lo de ayer y tb se enojo por otra cosa. mi mama se enojo tanto ke creo ke no comio y se subio para su piesa y se acosto. yo no supe hasta ke llegue a la casa pk estuve afuera casi todo el dia con mis amigas.

cuando fui a verla a la piesa, me dijo ella,

no deberia ser hoy el dia en ke la familia come todos juntos?
no deberia ser hoy el dia antes de navidad. no deberia ser hoy un dia feliz?

me senti tan mal al escuchar esto. casi me salen lagrimas. tan lastimada estaba ella hoy y yo no pude hacer nada mas ke decirle ke lo supere. soy tan mala hija. definitivamente kiero hacer mas para apoyarla y hacerla sentir mejor, pero por lo mas ke trato, no funciona. las ultimas navidades han sido fracasos para nosotros, seria muy largo contar todo lo ke paso en el pasado asike hasta aqui.

nose, pero pk ami? ya se ke debe haber miles otra gente sufriendo peor ke yo. pero igual yo tb kiero mi navidad lleno de sonrisas y sin preocupaciones. cuando sera eso. mañana sera un dia largisimo. ojala ke no haya una tormenta de nieve cuando aterrizemos.

ojala ke mañana sea mejor dia.

deeply fallen.

its been almost one week since ive been home. i ve dont nothing productive since ive been here. not that its bad. ive been chilling at home a lot, which is very unusual. back at berkeley, i thought i was sure i would be spending most of my break hanging out with friends. i feel so lazy right now. i just want to sleep all that i want and just stay at home watching a computer screen all day. jaja. not very good for my anything. this should change after i get back from new york because i have a lot of people to meet.

i just noticed today, that berkeley changed me somewhat. i used to watch a lot of tv before, but since i dont watch tv at all at berkeley, i dont watch at home either. since im constantly out in berkeley, i just want to stay at home when im home. make sense? should.

today, i had a a strong urge of wanting to be back in berkeley. there is only one reason why.

i have 2 options for next year:
1. go to community college.
2. become antisocial and live at the library.

my dad still thinks i play golf. oh my. whatever shall i do now. i have yet to tell him about my situation. im so confused right now. i am most probably going through my almost-twenties crisis. i need someone to shoot me right now.

like cascada's song, i need a miracle.

this is venting time right now like no other.

my internet be slow.
when i am home, my dad always yells at me for the smallest things
why cant my brother mature and be nicer to girls
why is my mom so nice
i dont want to go to new york
my eyes are getting worse. why does my left eye have an infection
why are some korean ajumahs so mean, stuck up, prideful, rude and greedy even though they are christians and go to church
do i like golf? do i want to keep playing?
how do i tell my dad about it.

ive come to realize that in my blog, i sound like a normal person who is apparently emo. i also sound somewhat depressed. so wierd.

should be times of joy. since today is technically the 24th, tomorrow is christmas. a day to celebrate. but im not getting the feel to do anything.

everytime i hear the numa numa song, it reminds me of mike chen. the reason for mentioning it is because im listening to it right now on pandora. i dont think its suppose to be a good thing.

i need strength.

ive fallen. im weak and weary.
Lord, please lift me up.

nada

hoy dia, dormir por 13 horas. orgullosa. si. no hice nada mas ke dormir todo el dia y estar en la compu. no es muy bueno. a las 6 llego mi amiga renata a verme, como no la habia visto mucho durante thanksgiving break. estuvo en mi casa, hablamos por un poco, y despues salimos pk keriamos ir a paris baguette, pero estaba cerrado :(. despues fuimos a hanam chain, para ver si keriamos comprar algo para comer, pero no se nos antojaba nada. en camino a casa decidimos parar en albertsons pk ron tenia hambre y yo keria arrendar una pelicula. arrende the ugly truth. todavia no lo he visto, estoy planeando en verlo muy pronto.

no tengo mucho ke decir hoy. mas encima toi apurada para ir a ver la pelicula. talvez despues añada mas a este post.

back to normal.

i am finally sleeping at a regular time now. or so i hope for the rest of the time being at home. for the past 2 nights, i slept before 12. i never ever did that at berkeley. not even once. earliest i ever slept at berkeley must have been 12 35. today i even woke up at 8 35 in the morning. with no alarm clock or someone to wake me up. that doesnt happen. ever up at berkeley. home is indeed different from college.

today, my time didnt really go to waste. i went to see my friend. she's also korean and from Chile. we grew up together and we knew each other from church. she happened to move up here 2 years after i came, but i never saw her until this summer. she lived in cerritos ever since she came and we were always in talks of meeting each other, but for some odd reason, it never happened. even though she lived so close to me. anyways, she has a store in stanton. its like a dollar tree, but its called dollar bell. i love being the cashier at her store, its really fun. i dont get paid or anything. i just do it because its fun and it helps my friend. did that for 7 hours? after that, her mom bought us in n out. it felt like a hella long day though.

i taught my mom how to use the computer today. and how to send emails. it was pretty fun watching my mom write everything down. from turning on the computer to opening internet explorer and then typing her email and password. sometimes i think my mom is really naive and that saddens me sometimes. she's too nice and gets pushed by others, including me, my brother, and my sister. she tries so hard, but not to get something out of it, but because she really wants to do her best. she gives freely, expecting nothing from the other side. most of the money she has, she always donates to church, police station, fire station, school, world vision, and more, but i forget. sometimes i think my mom might be an almost perfect christian, but then again, no one can be a perfect christian. well duhhh, thats why i said "almost". babos.

im so happy. its been snowing a lot in new york! i might experience another white christmas this year. actually not. im leaving to new york on christmas day, so christmas day is not going to be very joyous because it will be spent in the airport and in the airplane. just going there will take like a whole day because of the time change. not cool. this is not the first time im flying to new york on christmas day though. this happened i think in either 2006 or 2007. i guess as long as i can see snow, its aight.

tomorrow i am going to start going to the ymca. i need to lose weight. i think i already got freshmen 20.

its raining right now. why is it that it rains the most while everyone is sleeping? why why why.

my internet connection at home is so hella slow. why why why. compared to berkeley this connection is crap to the max.

its so hot in socal. why why why. i hate it. is this even winter?!!!! i hate socal's hotness.

solar power. aiya.

afadfasdf

lo unico ke he hecho desde ke he venido a casa es dormir, computadora y jugar golf. digamos ke no es lo mejor ke puedo hacer con mi tiempo, pero supongo ke por el momento esta bien pk recien llegue de la u y todavia me siento muy cansada. partiendo mañana es cuando voy a empesar a ver a mis amigos. igual tengo ke juntarme con arta gente este invierno.

voy a empesar a leer un libro.

cant sleep.

i cant sleep. ive been trying to sleep for the past hour. i dont know if its because my sleeping schedule is all messed up from berkeley or because i slept for 15 hours yesterday. i think i caught up on a lot of sleep. i slept at 3 in the morning the day i got home and woke up at 6pm. i haven't even been able to see the sunlight since i got home.

strangely, home doesnt feel like home anymore. it seems that the tiny room i share a space with back at berkeley feels more homely than this place i am in right now. its just a wierd feeling thats hard to explain, but all in all, i am back to the place i lived in for 4 years. also, when i was back at berkeley, i strangely never missed home. i didnt have a desire to go back, not even for a visit.

back in high school, i always used to fight with my dad. they weren't small fights. some of them were serious. there wasn't a day that went by without having my dad nag at me for something i did. i would say 50% of the times, it was somewhat peaceful and the other 50% of the time, someone would raise a ruckus at home. sometimes my house was just chaos. sometimes i think that i went through hell the last 4 years of high school. it was just a really hard time for me. everytime i fought with my dad, i just wanted to die. as an escape, i constantly thought of suicide. all these thoughts crossed through my mind. should i just jump in the middle of the street and get hit by a car? how many pills do i have to take in order to be in a coma? should i just run away from home and become homeless?

many times, i thought of doing drugs or drinking as a means to anger my parents. i would often tell my dad, why wasn't he just satisfied with the fact that i never went to parties or that i didnt do drugs. he would tell me that was a given. i was shocked when he told me that. a given? i thought dude, i could so do it if i wanted to and that angered me so much, that i really thought of doing it. but at the end i have my morals and every time i considered doing it, God crossed my mind. i was too scared to disappoint Him in this way. i mean i had already done so many times, but i didnt want to leave Him completely shattered. this could be the reason why i didnt want to come back home. my memories of high school are flooded with dark images of my home and family.

i admit that i am a bad daughter. and many times i regretted what i said and what i did, but through all that, God has shown me compassion. and that is why i am still alive and at least a sane person.

nevertheless, needless to say, i love family very much and i had some good memories from high school, but i think that the bad ones just override the good ones.

i wont say that i regret what happened in the past because i believe that everything happens for a reason, but i am sure many things could have been different if i were a little bit more reasonable.

but after all, i am home, and it is nice to be at a place i can rest all i want.

descanso.

finalmente ha llegado este dia. el dia ke he estado esperando por nose cuantas semanas, talvez seran meses. pero ya termine todos mis examenes y por ahora, estas vacaciones, estoy mas ke libre.

cuantos dias me tomara para poder acostumbrarme a dormir a la hora ke siempre dormia. pk ahora esta hecho todo un desastre. todavia no tengo sueño. y nisikera tengo ke estudiar. ojala ke pronto se mejore esto.

ya ha pasado un semestre. se me paso tan rapido. todavia me kedan 7 semestres mas pero igual pienso ke se me van a pasar volando. me gustaria ke el tiempo parara justo en este momento.

todavia no kiero crecer, no kiero madurar. no estoy lista para lo ke me espera en adelante. necesito tiempo para aprender y pensar. todavia no.

hoydia empiesa mi descanso. mañana a dormir todo el dia.

i fail at college.

i took my first final yesterday. asian studies. i had to write an essay. we had 1 hour and 20 min to write it. so from 5:10 to 6:30. i started writing my essay at 5:45. it was 6:15 and i still had 2 more questions to answer. so 2 more paragraphs. in the 15 min i had left, i wrote the worst 2 paragraphs i have ever written in my life. that tells me a lot about my final grade. i dont even have to say anything.

today i took my second final. earthquake. i'll just say one thing. i thought there was going to be 50 questions. 25 consisting of the new material learned and 25 from the previous material. lets just say i didnt even look at the previous stuff, i just studied the new stuff. i got the test and find out that there are 80 questions. 50 from the new stuff we learned and 30 questions from the old stuff. i wont even say how it went.

last final tomorrow for nutrisci. im not even studying right now. i should. i've yet to learn from my mistakes. another all nighter tonight. currently at the y doing this. im hungries. going to get some gypsys. tomorrow after last final, im going home right away. im babos. i should have bought my ticket for friday. now i'll be rushed to pack and leave to the ariport.

my state of mind right now: numb? from studying. finals. stress. not enough sleep. headaches. failure at college.

hard? nah. im just really babos when it comes to making the right decisions.

how many more times do i have to fail to get it right? perhaps never. how sad.

shalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.

ke locura.

no me pude despertar a tiempo para ir a la iglesia. pero sabia ke no me podria despertar. pero como siempre, nada sucede como planeo. :P
me desperte ayer a las 4 y media de la tarde creo, me duche y me fui a estudiar al y. me kede ahi hasta las 10 15 de la noche y me fui a estudiar a crossroads. me kede ahi hasta las 6 de la mañana y ahora son las 8 02 de la mañana, y estoy en stacks, yo sola. decidi hoy, no dormir. por la primera vez en mi vida vamos a ver si puedo estudiar en la biblioteca por 10 horas seguidas. recien me di cuenta ke no he estado despierta a esta hora desde hace mas de 1 mes y medio. a esta hora normalmente estoy durmiendo. en lo ke me convierte la universidad. ya estoy mas ke loca ahora.

me duele la espalda, y creo ke se me chorrean los ojos ahora. mas encima todavia estoy resfriada. ya estoy mas de una semana con este resfrio.

mañana tengo mi primer final. a las 5 de la tarde.
a estudiar-

exhausted.

friday, i woke up at 4 in the afternoon? because i slept at 6 in the morning....i dont remember where i studied the day before. i went to bible study. then i went to study at dwinelle bymyself. i was going to be there originally by myself, but ashton and ester decided to join me. we studied for about hour and a half until they decided to go to crossroads. everyone was at crossroads.. i stayed there until 6 in the morning. went to sleep and woke up at 3 in the afternoon. went to angel tree and then to jcc. kids were cute. then came to crossroads again with sara and once again found many people from gp studying here. i am still here.

its 5: 36 in the morning and im seriously tired. i havent felt this tired in a long time. i think im crashing? maybe not. i cant. i have a final technically the day after tomorrow. but i feel the need to sleep, im going to try to sleep at like 6 15 and then try to wake up at 11? and study one hour before church. i hope it works. i feel that i havent gotten anything done. plus i wasted the 5 dead days because i didnt study at all. sickness. i hate it. im sleepy.



im out.

tengo suerte va hambre! ay dios mios! -hugo hua who sucks at spanish

me desperte a la hora de almuerzo. hoy dia comimos comida muy rica hecha por ashton y connie. la pasta de connie fue eskisito y ensalada cesar de ashton fue sabrosa. me kede en su casa por 3 horas vagando, literalmente haciendo nada y puro gastando tiempo, tiempo ke pude haber usado para haber hecho muchas cosas importantes. al fin de cabo, me fui a mi dormitorio como a las 4, me duche y fui al y, trate de estudiar, pero no funciono asike fui a comer cena.

hoy dia tuvimos un interacambio de regalos con nuestro grupo. yo recibi un libro. no creo ke sea tan malo. lo voy a tratar de leer durante las vacaciones de invierno.

despues de la mini fiestita entre nuestro grupo, decidi ir a estudiar. termine yendo a dwinelle pk supuestamente al principio tenia ke ir a estudiar en la stacks pero taba tan lleno ke vine a dwinelle donde mucha gente se econtraba. son ahora las 4:45 am, la hora ke llegue aca eran las 10:45 pm. ke he hecho durante 6 horas? no mucho. yo tp estoi muy orgullosa de eso, pero ke puedo hacer, todavia no me llega ke estoy apunto de tomar mis finales. auxilio.

hablando de otro tema. ultimamente siento ke mi castellano ya no esta al par. ya no soy la misma de 6 años atras y obviamente no voy a saber muchas de los vocabularios mas dificiles. muchas veces no kiero reconocerlo pero creo ke ya lo enfrente. digamos ke ya fueron hace 4 años atras cuando mi castellano fue sustituido por ingles como mi idioma principal. todavia me gustaria tener el castellano como mi idioma principal, pero ya se ke eso no se puede pk soy mucho mas avanzada en el ingles y mas ke nada, el ingles lo desarolle mucho mas ke el castellano pk aca en estados unidos nunk tuve la oportunidad de desarollar bien el castellano, a menos de ke sean las lecciones basicas ke me enseñaron en el colegio a travez de español 3, 4, y 5. sin duda, esas clases me ayudaron mucho para que no se me olvidara el castellano, pero no pude hacer mucho con eso. pero igual deberia agredecer por lo ke me acuerdo y por lo ke se. pero por esta razon estoy escribiendo en castellano cada otro dia. para ke pueda seguir usando el castellano de un modo u otro.

hoy, voy a tratar de dormir 6 horas, y nada mas ke 6 horas o menos para ke pueda estudiar. tengo ke poder asino me pudro.

buenos dias.

stop it.

today. i woke up better. just congested nose and a man's voice. went to a review session for asian studies. "studied" at the y. annie took me, jo eun and san to gom tang in oakland. i had donkatsu. it was pretty good. i lost my id card again. sleeping over at ashton's.

i must say ashton's house is the nicest place out of all the place's i've been too so far here at berkeley or alameda. i fell in love at first sight. the kitchen is something. i'll personally like the house only if the kitchen is to my liking, my house in fullerton, i chose it, because i loved the kitchen and my parents actually hesitated at first, but later realized that the house was adequate for us to live in. i think they also liked the kitchen. moving on, ashton's kitchen floor is wood, but not any wood, its like this refined kind, just like the one i have back at home. they also have black granite countertops. pretty smooth. my kitchen does too, but not in black. Ashton's bathroom is also really nice. it was recently remodeled, so it looks very polished. the rooms are very spacious and comfortable to live in. place also smells good. i think. my nose is congested, so im not sure. bottom line is. i want to live here. but the only problem is that its a bit too far from everything, except that if gp decides to buy the building at dwight, that means that the new "y" will be right across this place which would be very nice.

im going to fail my finals. i just fail at studying. i actually cant study when im not under pressure, but once its 2 days before my final i'll regret not studying right now. i guess i never learn?

i fail at life.

muerta.

hoy dia, me desperte, aun mas enferma ke ayer. supuestamente tenia ke ir a comer almuerzo con mulan, pero en vez de comer ella, ella me trajo sopa koreana. me siento muy conmovida por lo ke hizo. se kedo en mi piesa conmigo por 1 hora hablando de cosas de la vida. la agradezco mucho por haberme vistado. no creo ke sepa cuanto lo aprecio.

despues de ke se fuera, trate de dormir y descansar, pero apenas pude por todo el ruido de la construccion. ke mala onda. tonces no tuve otra ke bañarme. al toke fui al y y me kede ahi por un rato. al seguir eso, fui a la biblioteca y despues de eso fui a prayer meeting. depsues me fui de vuelta a mi piesa por unos 10 min cuando decidi en ir a la biblioteca. me kede ahi hasta las 2 de la mañana. no fue un dia nada espectacular, mas ke nada fue monotono.

creo ke si sigo asi, me voy a morir. alguna gente dice lo dicho sucede. kien sabe. si muero hoy, no creo ke me voy a morir arripintiendo de nada. ahi vemos.

ke dificil la vida hoy en dia para un universitario. lo lamento por todos los ke estan sufriendo conmigo.

worn out.

i woke up today. sick. coughing. headache. fever. 몸살.
i deserve it. i was kinda wondering when i would get sick. but this is nothing, i guess im waiting for something more intense, but i dont think that'll happen since i have a really strong immune system.

i wanted to study for finals today. got almost nothing done. hopefully i will wake up tomorrow feeling better and really study. i also have to go to stacks earlier during the afternoon so i can get a seat. i went to stacks today at about 9 pm. there were no seats whatsoever. the fact that finals is near is finally hitting me. im somewhat stressing out.

lately ive been having lots of headaches. i think its because i ve been thinking too much. i guess this happens for not thinking enough. but its ok. i would rather not think. i like going to sleep well at night.

i want to start an orphanage, or a shelter for homeless people. i decided that i will do it, no matter what.
chile has a lot of homeless, but i guess not as many as berkeley. as i grew up in chile, i would always pass by the homeless asking for money or food. i wanted to give them money or something, perhaps something that would make them happy, but my parents would rarely give them a coin because they said that bums bought something else with that money. i felt especially bad for the women with kids and the elderly. i really wanted to do something for them, but until now i have definitely not walked the talk.

i really think i have more than enough. i live in abundance of everything i need to live a comfortable life. i have been thinking for many years now, what would happen if some really underprivileged, gifted kid from africa lived in my place. would he make the most out of his life? because i feel like i havent in the least with mine. maybe he would.

what would happen if i died right now. would there be people that would care and cry for me? or would i just be a memory hidden deep inside their minds. maybe i should go out there and make a name out of myself and then die happily ever after.

indeed. i. cannot. be. more. random. than. this.

cough cough.

ya esta empesando a llover denuevo. bkn. me encanta la lluvia. solo si tuviera botas.. seria aun mejor.

hoydia fue un dia en ke 23 personas fueron bautizados en mi iglesia. mientras escuchaba a 7 de las 23 personas presentando su testimonio, no podia dejar de pensar en ke diria en el mio :P algunos de los testimonios me hicieron sentir muy conmovida. casi me salen lagrimas, pero los sosteni, por alguna razon, no me gusta llorar en frente de otra gente. me siento muy debil al hacerlo. fue un dia muy bonito. me alegro de ke mucha gente este aceptando a Cristo Jesus como su salvador eterno. yo creo ke lo hize cuando chica, pero ahora no estoy segura si lo hize por las razones correctas.

los testimonios duraron por mucho tiempo asike al terminar todos tomaron sus fotos y nos fuimos a comer. despues de comer, fui a tratar de trabajar en mi ensayo ke lo tengo ke entregar para el lunes. estuve en la biblioteca por 7 horas? y apenas pude leer 4 capitulos y escribir una pagina. pero no me preocupo mucho pk no es tan dificil de escribir ya ke tengo ke escribir mas sobre de lo ke opino yo.
ya se vienen los dias intensos y llenos de estudio. ya estoy preparada? no en verdad no estoi muy segura. lo ke se es ke tengo muchas preguntas y me duele la cabeza pk no se como se podran responderse estas preguntas.

tengo tos. por ninguna razon, todo el dia hoy en la biblioteca estuve con tos.sera una señal ke me estoi enfermando? ojala, pk enverdad no me importaria enfermarme.

esta noche sera otra noche en ke me la paso despierta trabajando en mi ensayo. :/

stupidness.

im jincha productive. nat. i woke up today at 2 in the afternoon?
i watched this korean drama for 4 hours? yeah not very productive....i havent watched a k drama for more than 5 months? i dont know why i started again...this might not be good, but i think im just going to finish this one and not start another one.
i ate chipotel for dinner with johnny and raymond. watched some basketball.
went back to my room and i dont remember what i did there, then i went over to tina, jaime, cindy's place. lydia was there too. we watched the g live dvd.. i watched all of it. it was pure awesomeness i must say. it makes me want to be in it that much more. finished watching at 1 40 am? i walked by dwight bymyself.. tonight.. its not that scary.. just had to walk in the middle of the road and i found myself feeling so much safer.

all my life ive spelled the word "awesome" like this "awsome". i just found out very recently that it has an 'e' after the 'w'. i just find that fascinating. i still dont know how i amaze myself everyday.

im super super sore. from ice skating. my legs, ankles,and back hurt like a mother father. it aches all over. i deserve it. i fell lots and lots yesterday and the last fall was the best. i fell flat on my back and got the wind knocked out of me. new experience. it was exciting.

i found out yesterday that final paper for ed is due on monday. i thought it was due yesterday. thats good because i didnt even do it, i havent even started. i should though.. i thought i was going to start it today but no can do. i think i either forgot or ... yeah i forgot ..so i think i have to do it tomorrow.no, i dont think. i have to do it.

i like to eat peppero strawberry. yummy. oh i received half a watermelon from a very kind person. that was yummy too.

헐헐 i lost my id card for the 3rd time. if i dont find it i have to get another one for the third time. and its only 2 more weeks of school. yes, i amaze myself again!
i wouldn't get it if i didnt have so many meal points :( but so 아까워.

진짜 college 싫어.

in all if i sum it up, everything i do is stupidness. 해해.
im babos. but that is cool. so its ok.

;)

ya no mas classes

porfin se acabaron las clases hoy. pero para mi, enverdad mi ultimo dia de clase era ayer pk no tengo clases los domingos.
hoydia finalmente puedo decir ke dormi bien. dormir por exactamente 9 horas. creo ke eso me hizo muy bien pk me siento repleta de energia.
hoydia no hize nada productivo.
ah hoydia tb fue mi ultimo dia de workout con el ekipo... ya no tengo ke ir mas :) pero enverdad no tengo idea ke voy a hacer el proximo semestre... jugare golf o no? esa es la pregunta ke me esta matando estas ultimas semanas.
me kede viendo dramas koreanas todo el dia encerrada en mi piesa hasta ke me llamo annie para ke fuera a comer a crossroads a las 6 pero perdi mi id asike no iba ir hasta ke me llamo y me dijo ke vininera no mas pk ella me iba comprar cena hoy. asike fui a comer con mi small group y despues fuimos a bible study.

en la noche.. todos fuimos a patinar en hielo. me cai 4 veces. la ultima vez ke me cai... me cai duro. con pura espalda. no pude respirar por unos segundos. igual buena experiencia. ultimamente me siento muy cansada y con mucho sueño.

la proxima semana no tenemos cole.. haber si empeño con todo lo ke tengo. vamos ke se puede.

ya tengo sueño. iba a escribir mas pero por ahora no pk mis ojos se estan cerrando.

buenas noches:)

not over yet.

estoy muy cansada. ya se vienen los 10 dias de descanso. bueno en verdad no descansamos sino ke estudiamos, pero para mi van a hacer dias de descanso y muchas siestas. pero ojala ke no... pk enserio tengo ke estudiar... a sino me cago.

me gustaria saber pk no duermo.
ojala ke aquel ser ke se encuentra arriba, me este cuidando y dando fuerza para los proximos dias. y ke me dure.

i haven't written anything here in like 4 days.that makes me sad. oh wells. where to start. i came back to berk at 9 in the morning on monday. i dont remember what else i did on monday. on tuesday i didnt go to class and i just remember studying for nutrisci at the y then i went to moffitt and then studied some more at dwinelle. i find myself liking more the fact that i speak spanish. it works wonders at times. i slept at 6 in the morning and woke up at 12 or 1, just in time for the midterm. after midterm i went to y and tried to do my earthquake extra credit. that took me seriously the whole night to do. so the point is, i havent slept for 38 hours. i havent really done that ever. but the thing is. i got it done. oh but i still have a final paper due tomorrow.

cant believe the semester is over. i feels old. sadness :(

next 2 weeks. im going to die. the price for dying? a longboard :)