worn out.

i woke up today. sick. coughing. headache. fever. 몸살.
i deserve it. i was kinda wondering when i would get sick. but this is nothing, i guess im waiting for something more intense, but i dont think that'll happen since i have a really strong immune system.

i wanted to study for finals today. got almost nothing done. hopefully i will wake up tomorrow feeling better and really study. i also have to go to stacks earlier during the afternoon so i can get a seat. i went to stacks today at about 9 pm. there were no seats whatsoever. the fact that finals is near is finally hitting me. im somewhat stressing out.

lately ive been having lots of headaches. i think its because i ve been thinking too much. i guess this happens for not thinking enough. but its ok. i would rather not think. i like going to sleep well at night.

i want to start an orphanage, or a shelter for homeless people. i decided that i will do it, no matter what.
chile has a lot of homeless, but i guess not as many as berkeley. as i grew up in chile, i would always pass by the homeless asking for money or food. i wanted to give them money or something, perhaps something that would make them happy, but my parents would rarely give them a coin because they said that bums bought something else with that money. i felt especially bad for the women with kids and the elderly. i really wanted to do something for them, but until now i have definitely not walked the talk.

i really think i have more than enough. i live in abundance of everything i need to live a comfortable life. i have been thinking for many years now, what would happen if some really underprivileged, gifted kid from africa lived in my place. would he make the most out of his life? because i feel like i havent in the least with mine. maybe he would.

what would happen if i died right now. would there be people that would care and cry for me? or would i just be a memory hidden deep inside their minds. maybe i should go out there and make a name out of myself and then die happily ever after.

indeed. i. cannot. be. more. random. than. this.