lazy start. lost.

i bought rainboots yesterday in order to use them when it rained. but i haven't had a chance to use them when needed. after purchasing my rainboots. i didnt go out at all yesterday. today was pure misery.

i woke up to go to my 2 o clock class. weather.com said there was going to be a 30% chance of rain from 2 to 4 o clock, so i told my self...설마 its going to start pouring when im out. so i left my dorm at 1 20 to grab some lunch at gbc. after having paid, i went outside and thats when it suddenly started pouring... :( i didnt have an umbrella and i had flip flops on. so i decided to run to my dorm to change and get umbrella and put on my rainboots. on the way to unit 3, i got drenched in water. adding to the annoying rain, was hail. after reaching my dorm, i changed and put on my rainboots and took the umbrella out. as soon as i got out of my building, everything stopped. DUUUUUUUUUDE. ahhhhhh. so annoyinggggggg. it didnt rain for the rest of the day except for when i was at the y. i have yet to use my rainboots when its actually raining. hopefully tomorrow?

dinner today was at chemily ninja's place. i am touched for their hospitality, but then i again i get touched super very easily. but still i am thankful. emily and ivana made me and lydia some super yummy food. tofu+gogi, potato+chicken, and some vegetable that i dont remember. i hadn't had such a good dinner in a while with so much laughter and fun. but again back to reality.

college writing class. long class. jeez. all my classes this semester are mandatory attendance. its like high school all over again.

i dont even know if i have homework for soc 3ac tomorrow. i feel somewhat screwed for this semester. last monday, when we had lunch at fulton house, emily asked me what came to mind when i thought of a new semester. the first thing that came to mind were finals. i dread finals and midterms. but i cant stop thinking about them. after having gone through the syllabus for all my classes. i just feel screwed already. sadness. i feel as if i am falling into an abyss of fear and confusion. and i dont know when i will be able to hit the bottom to end this.

i pray that at the upcoming retreat. i will be able to find some answers and ease my anxiety.

am i ready?
can i find my way....