sigh

3 words to describe this day: TIRED, STUPID, LOCKED OUT. (except for about 3 hours)

so sadness upon today.
class. ohmy. class is boring. whatever
after class my group resumed filming. i mean i dont get it. the guy is not even like a professional director, but thought he was. he took forever in deciding how the angle of the camera would be staged. sighs sighs sighs. 3 freakin hours. it took us to film only 5 minutes of a clip! i would express more annoyance, but will leave as it is because then ill feel bad.
im glad its done. DONE. done done.
after that i dont remember what i did. by the time i came home it was already 5 20 or something. then at 6 i went to su's for a potluck celebrating july bdays. so about 13 of us gathered to celebrate marissa, chinpo, and anne's birthday. everyone brought chicken except for pizza, 2 batches of spaghetti and my house's kimchi bokum. it was delish! and for dessert we had 4 diff flavored cheesecakes and brownies rosie made for us :)
i was supposed to go film some commercials but i bailed. :P whatever.
i stayed after the dinner and dessert. so the few ppl that stayed played taboo. which was hella fun. played until 10. then me, heidi, and jenny walked anne back to her place and then me and heidi walked jenny to her place. met her roomies. pretty cozy place. then me and heidi went to the rsf and exercised until 12 30. then we came back and stopped infront of our apt to open the front door. then we realized that we both had failed to bring our keys. yeah we epic FAIL. then heidi freaks out. and im happy. because tthere is no such thing as doom. then we went in the pool area place and sat down and pondered about our current miserable lives. yay. we tried calling manager, fail. called other friends that live in the apt. fail. sigh. called jiyoung. she pick us up. and here i am. with heidi.
i cannot believe how kind these ppl are.
i just dont know.
i feel
so utterly helpless and at the same time so broken seeing how these ppl are so open and kind to me and heidi. i dont have the exacts words to express my gratitude and the joy i feel as i have ppl like this in my life. i love you mr fuity carols cleopatra, jinji jojong, mongolian beef and mr. raccoon!

oh shnap i forgot to call my mom today.
she got in trouble from dad today :( poor omma.
ok no more.
im tired and i should sleep.
i have another stomach ache.
ohman. what joys will this bring me tomorrow.
PEASH oush.

hello thee

SAME OLD.
same old.
so not much too write.
yesterday i already forgot what i did.
today.
class. test. JAJA. pwn it.
filming. man i hate stupid filming for the project. the ppl in my group are just making it so much more difficult than what it should be!
come home eat.
eat more.
rsf.
come back.
prayer meeting/bible study
rsf again.
come back.
nothing.
the cycle is still going.
going home on the 13th :)
yayayayayayaiaiaiaiaiiaa. KOREAN FOOD! mommy's food. i need it. nNOW.
man but i dont wana carride down.
i hate that.
hopefully tomorrow will have more exciting things to write about.

momento and melona bars

today. was sunday.
yesterday. was saturday.
interhigh was something. the word to describe it: good.
i guess i set my expectations a lot higher than i thought. for some reason i thought kids were more open, but i guess not. its the first one. so what can i do for now, but to sit, wait, and pray.
in general though. it was fun. praise is so much funner at interhigh. collegewide is so blehhhhh (not a bad blehh, but more like a chill blehh) JAAJA. college students are hella old compared to youth. they got nothing on them.

i wasnt tired after interhigh, so decided to go visit khan do, annie, jane, christine, bethany's place (2 more ppl, but i forget who). i lava their place. its a nice pad dude. i m in love wit the kitchen. its like fulton house all over again :) just with a couple of different pppl . nice dining table and couches and i forget. but its just nice all around. rooms are spacious. lotsa food available ;) powerful, awesome fridge, i lovest them fridges. i dont even have to bring anything to sleep over cuz they be offerin me toothbrush, pjs, extra set of clothes, blankets, pillows. what more could i ask for. its even better than a hotel, and its all free :) im going over deres. next week :)

i got invited to my first official weedding ever. ive never been to one. ive crashed one but never been "invited" to one. ;) so im pretty excited. i guess. cuz ive never been to one. yeyaa boi. but i have no idea what to wear. oh man. sweat pants. JAJAJAJAJA. that would be a sight. shweeeeat.

anyways. go back to ashton's house. I FINALLY GOT A MELONA BAR! THANKGOODNESSS. but too bad i put it in the fridge and never got to eat it. what thehek. i LOVE MELONA BARS. FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER. thats all i could think about for the past week. because melona bars are precious and delicious and yummy in my mouth.

today. i got dropped off at home. early in the morning. and slept. forgot to set my alarm clock. and missed church. this is the first time i miss church in a really long time. feels kinda hollow/shallowish inside. anywyas. got to listen to podcast so its ok.
went over to chemily's for dinner :) it was delish. she made lappokki. fav stuff. yum yum for my tum tums. then strawberry ice cream :) its so yummmy. ohmygash. i wish i didnt have tastebuds, so i wouldnt overload on food jeez. after dinner/dessert. we watches momento. i was suppose to watch inception with su,kat,jengi today, but i had din at chem's so they watch without me :( but whatever. i can watch it whenever. momento is a pretty trippy movie. but because its a trippy movie, ilove. I LOVE trippy/twisted movies. those be my favs.

mr. fruity carols cleopatra dropped me off at apt. thank you mr. fruity carols cleopatra :) love goes out to you man.

and then rsfed for a little.
long week ahead. hwaitings.
sleepy time.

shabalaba ding dong

in alameda. fulton house alameda.
but like nobody be here. im bymyself ish.
well anyways. im tired.

i brought my laundry. well. to do my laundry.
2 loads man. our dryer is kinda fried. so yeah.
its heavy though. lots of clothes.

class. ole .
forever.
then did x lab again. .. im starting to feel hella lazy to go.
i might not do it.
i met up with heidi at the optometry building cuz she snapped her glasses yesterday morning. i were ther for like 1 hour and 20 min or something. man she is undecisive. but i m ok with it because im like that too.
went home. packed. laundry.
d house. pick up. went to a park. played some handball/baseball hybrid or something. i forget what it be called for reals. after the park we went to annie's house. we ate some dinner. my dinner was milk and cereal and peanuts, which is alot better than eating the sushi, fake crab, mushroom majiggy..
i just hate seafood. i dont know why.
i dont really care that i hate seafood though. but sometimes i wonder how much of it i would eat if i liked it.

some reflecting time?
game time. fun.
then soobakkk time. i like.
then talk.
go to fulton of alameda house.
and laundry. and its the same as the beginning.
the ending to the beginning. i dont know.

im full :( i wasnt suppose to eat until im full because then i might get a crazy stomach ache again.

i want a home group baby.
we are the only hg to not have a baby.
well it could be due to the fact that there is only one couple in our hg. sieunn have a baby! :) mr. melona bar.
i lovestt that.
ok time for more laundry.
i feel like i will have a very good breakfast tomorrow :)
gg.

noise

ohmygoodness.
so basically, right above our apt is where joeun and san will be residing for the next semester, but they are currently at their respective homes, so guess who's there? their subletters. they be chinese. i mean nothing against that. just saying. but man! they are hella something. i can practically hear everything! they are saying.. well not really cuz they be talkin in chinese and i dont understand that at the moment.... ohmygash, they are either super loud or the walls are like paper. MAN and the creeking sounds... annoyinnggg. everytime they step, its like cringe cringe cringe. and they must be doing some wierds stuff up there. here and there ill here like a booom, crash, bang. like super loud. ohmygash. but incessant cringing is hella botherin meee, but like Annie said, lets forget about the negativenss and concentrate on why we are thankful for them.... i guess i should work on that.

anyways. todays. was a today kinda day. woke up as usual, go to class. i hate my class. as in class, i mean the classroom. its hot as mango and even though the windows are open, its still hot as mango. its so boring i feel like rotten eggs. ew. man. that be nastay. after class. i was walking up bancroft and i bumped into long-time-no-see john ng. so we talked for like 20 min. i forget about what. i guess his life and stuff. i guess he be doing pretty well. good for him. anyways. rushed home cuz i was starvvvvvvvfing. i wanted to make healthy chicken salad. but man i fail. not all fail, but some fail. i came home and took the chicken out of the freezer... JAJA. i just put the frozen chicken on the pan and started cooking it.... frozen.... and then i realized that the insides werent getting cooked, so i called ashton kutcher and asked her how to work this thing. so as i thought, i needed to let it unfreeze. man fail. JAJA. but i left it there to unfreeze, i cut half the chicken and then cooked it. all good.. bueniisiiimo. man today was a healthy day. i like.

stared at some screen. went to rsf for about 35 min. then came back. met up with annie to go do somethingg at stacks. but to our surprise. stacks was closed JAJA. noiiiicee. so we went to pick up su, katherine and jengie at safeway. then chillaxed at their apartment for about 2 hours. dude they have yogurt overload. it was yogurt heaven. they have a lot of groceries. compared to them, i feel like the donkey. i left early to go to rsf again witth stacy :) again.. yeah. again.. it was ok though. i was gona run but decided not to when i saw the treadmills all occupied by peoples. so i just ellipticalled.

man i can still hear them upstairs ppl talking in chinese. i would go upstairs and say something, but that seems kinda rude and i am just not the confrontational type so i give up. they must have their reasons for making creeking sounds and talking so loud in chinese. i guess. i feel you.

i want a northface backpack. i was suppose to go to the outlet this week to get one, but hmm i forgot to go. maybe this sunday or next week. i dont even know if they're open sunday. but fsho next week.

i want yogurtland. since when have i become so obsessed with yogurtland ... just yogurt in geeneral. my throat hurts. its kinda chunky ish.
i want jjajangmyun and tangsooyuk SO FReakeeen bad. ohmygoodness. i want it. i also crave obchicken and kyochon chicken. :( i want it.

inception this saturday :) yayayayaya. ok... but the chances of that happening might be close to 0 since everything i plan out in advance always ALWAYS fails. shoot. knock on wood.

i want to go to san francisco. i want to go to square something. i call it the times square of the sf because i always forget what it be called. i also wana go to little tokyo .. or whatever japan town or whatever it be called. i think i might next saturday, but you know what. the chances of that happening are probably very close to 0 since i ... fail. except at spanish! jk.. i fail at that too.

i think my body is in dire need of h2O because i havent been drinking that much water at all. im just not that thirsty these days, but i should probably drink more water. just force myself to chug that sucker. man im wierd. the more i think about it the more i realize how wierd i am. like alot.

ok. so now im going to go because i dont know where heidi is right now, and so maybe a bum ate her. so maybe she is trying to sos me right now. and i am here. but i should probably go and save her somewhere.
ok bye bye now. nice to meet you.

grocery shopping

YAY. let the world rejoyce... -______+
first time ever--going grocery shopping like bymyself..(well, w/heidi) for my apartment. wow. lets commemorate this day by cheering. -____-. jk.
but im so freakin glad i went grocery shopping.
after class. me and heidi met in front of gbc and walked down to shattuck to 18, but to our dismay, i had forgotten my id card at home, but a black woman driver was nice enough to let me in without it. yes-i got mad convincing skills. oh we left campus at like 2 15 ish.
safeway: food=yum.
i m so healthy!
so what we bought: (not that anyone cares, but i care, this is my first grocery shopping list)
-peach
-grapes
-bananas
-granola
-honey oats cereal
-milk
-tomatoes
-butter
-assorted salad
-bonesless chicken breast
-swiss cheese
-bread
-yogurt
and i forget...
but the only reason i was excited to go to safeway was because of the yogurt. i wanted to eat the lecerne(i think thats how its spelled, if not, then too bad) yogurt. man, but guess what. i FAIL! fail. yes. i fail. i bought the plain one! with no sugar! tastes like cream cheese or something ahhh. for some stupid reason i thought the plain one was vanilla my ohmy. i must shoot myself. im sorry but the plain one tastes like crap. no joke.
man i didnt know grocery shopping cost that much.
total came out to be $50.

oh well. after grocery shopping everything went smoothly. NOT. so as we went on the bus, i thought the guy would be chill enough to let me in without my id, but this big white mummy looking dude said "i dont care if you're a berkeley student. berkeley student or not you pay $2" as he finished his sentence i socked him on the face. ok.. i wish.. no not really. but jk. i guess he was doing his job. so me and heidi were sitting there on the bench for about 1 hour. i dont really know what we were trying to do, but i think after 40 min, heidi devised a brilliant plan! how could i have not thought about this myself! her plan: i show id, you take my id and you show my id. tadaaaaaa. simples. good stuph.
but we wait for another 20 min.. no 18 bus.. so i decided to call francesca and well enough! my lucky day i guess. she needed to buy some stuff at safeway, so we waited for her. she came. she bought. and she TOOK us :) yay. came home. the first thing i wanted to do was eat the yogurt. but too bad for me it was yucky. i think ive had one of the best apt dinners today.
we had cereal and granola, cut peaches and cut banana and a toast with butter and cheese. it was seriously yummy i tell you. man i loved today's dinner. ok im exaggerating, but it was legit i must say. although eilaan thought i had breakfast when i told him what i had for dinner. whatever. whatever floats my boat is good.

i am in a pretty content state at the moment. just saying.
oh man... every time i laugh. its like every SINGLE person is like what does "jajaja" mean... and everytime ... im like... im laughing in spanish. man... breaking a sweat everytime dude.

well doom. i thought my final was on aug 11th, but FAIL. its on the 13th. i was suppose to go home and drive down with peter, but he be leaving on the 11th, so FAIL that too. :( ... hopefully,,,hopefullyy, something miraculous will happen.

my tummy is feeling a lot better!!!! yay. actually its not my tummy. its like my intestines, lungs and other vital organs that are in pain. but its ok. i guess.

rsfed it tonight. dude. hmm. i ellipticalled for about 1 hour and like 40 min. INTENSE. i didnt even notice. .. well i went to rsf at like 8 30 .. and thats becausei was bored at home bymyself.. instead of watching dramas or doing some other stupid thing on the internet i decided to be physically productive and go to the rsf. and ellipticaled forever. until stacy came and saved me from my ongoing craziness. she took over my elliptical. i went to stretch upstairs, i met eilan. for an hour we were trying to get chen'S (BLAKE<---i just cannot call him that, it doesnt want to come out of my mouth. everytime i say bblllaake, i choke) attention from the second floor of the rsf. we were basically stalking him for an hour. but that boi has no peripheral vision or something! goodness. but i found out that eilan likes kpop. sweetness. so we shared about some of our favorite bands and singers i guess. man... i left the rsf at 11 30. i came at 8 30.... freak i is. indeed.

my spanish class is wierd. its out of the ordinary. not in the good way. its just wierd. 3 weeks and half to go and out i go.

i miss my mommy and my grandparents. .. not that i dont miss the rest of my family, but mom called today. and i just miss her and i want to be with her to encourage her and make her happy. i have never said the words "i love you" to my mom. pretty hard to believe... in my 19 years of existence, to the one that gave me birth, i have not. well.. i actually dont remember if i did when i was little, but from my poor memory, i judge that i have not.it is to the people i love the most and care for the most that i cannot say it. wierd huh. yeah im like that. i guess its not good.

ohhh not as tired today :) but i do want to sleep early today. :) as in early..i mean like 1:15ish :P
au revoir.

pit hole

so the stomach aches ive had for the last couple of days culminated to worst one yet. i woke up at 7 in the morning today to feel excruciating pain in my abdomen/stomach area. i felt like crap. i was in the same hurting pain for 20 min. so i decided to call someone. or i thought i was gona die. i called annie. no pickup. sieun. nopick. vivian finally answered. hooray. she called jiyoung or lindsey or something. linds and ellen came to pick me up. man i couldnt even walk. they took me to tang center. checkup.
man i think the doctor thought i was depressed/mad stressed/eating disorder/family problems. what the. just because ima college student... she thinks ... whatever. but she gave me pills and it was cool. level of pain went from 10 to a 2 in minutes.
really thankful for vivian, linds, ellen, and heidi though. i woulda died without their help.
came home. slept extra 2 hours before class.
heidi made me jjukk :) aww how sweet. my throat also hurtss. :(

spanish class sucks. so boring.
after class i went to pay for summer fees.
met up with steph and we goes grocery shoppings at safeway.
today i had lots of firsts.
1. safeway.
2. cutting onions, red bell peppers, garlic. yuk my hands still reek of the smell.

i got another pimple on right under my nose. i guess i attract them pimples on my face.

went back to steph's place. cut stuff. fran came over to help cook. i realized. i dont want to cook. i guess suffermore year will consist of cereal and milk and then i will die of stomach pains and my dad will yell at me and so will everyone else.

dinners was FIOONE. chris, alex, summer and 2 other ppl's names i forget also came over to eat. ohh and fran, and annika and steph i guess cuz its her house...steak salad, corn, spaghetti was bomb. but i had to be careful not to overeat cuz then i would have to go to the tang again. and i hella dont want that again. so i missed out on ice cream and cookies :( thankyou steph. :) beautiful dinner.

prayer meeting/bible study.

i am a sinner. i need someone to separate me and sin apart.

tracy's bday. annie kim is the dannkiiess :) man. she is cool. and awesome. she bought me jjukk too :) man i am undeserving of this kindness.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

ok im kinda sleepy. so bye bye.

we are just evil cannivals

i have a freakin pimple right under my lip to the left side. it doesnt hurt. maybe its not a pimple. i dont really know what it is, but the only thing im concerned about its the stay. so is this deformation on my face temporary or everlasting. oh joys. oh joys.

my stomach hurts. i think i also mentioned on yesterday's post about my joyous problem. this problem is not welcomed as i am suffering. my current state is not happy state. maybe i have stomach flu or something. i might try not eating tomorrow.

today. was a :D day. well for most part.
class. home. lunch. xlab. good stuff :) get payed $15 for basically doing some gibberish stuff. the negatives though: too far. haas is at the end. top. i guess since its top dog. went to the y. impulse. saw good friend jane cho. cool jane cho. and cat. and stephen. im pretty sure hes like an intj or something similar to that, but whatvers. jane cho. she colors my world. like a rainbow except with a lot more beautiful colors. shes a wierdo. she be my style.
i met olive juice on telegraph and bancroft. i accompanied her to the walgreens. then i walked her ver to shattuck. im not sure why. i wento the west circle thingy on campus. there i mets the fran, christine. irene yen picks us up. then come irene or elaine kwan, kwon? ohmy im messed up. anyways. i wents over to alameda at 6. feasted over at ashton's place. man, there were like 23 girls or something over for the last "supper" ish feast. all for joy and virg. aww :(, ok. my stomach hurts a lot right now. ohmygah. ------ ok anyways. there was a potluck at their house and there was a lot of yummy food, but i do not wish to list because it will give me more pain. after dinner. fun stories. then off to northloop.
JAJA. saw me some baby jayden! held him for about 10 min until he retreated to his fort. he was sick. so cute. then pye pye farewell for esther, joy, and virg.
come back wit fav mongolian beef, jinjy jojong and mr. raccoon. fun ride. :)
my stomach still hurts------
i rsfed it again.
ellipitical for 30 min and ran for about 40 min.
i wonder if the pain is caused by all the excercise. or maybe i got myself an ulcer. i think i almost did senior year in hs.

for some reason. my cars bill comes out to be $5,500 when im only taking one class and the price stated is $1500. crazy freakinberkeley. your going berzerkelies. i dont even know how to get rid of the extra baggage. ohmyjeez.
whatever
im gona go now. because.
my stomach hurts and its organs inside. or tissues or whatevers. something hurts.
my stomach is one freakin evil salamander. how dare this thing do this to me. urg.

peace. (peace sign) smile . tilt head 30 deegrees.

hello sunshine

hello.
i hate food atm.
.... church.
play with babies.
eat at taiwan restaurant.
general chicken. is so good.
home.
nice 2 hour nap. MAN. i k id. horrible nap. woke up like 5 times. and for the last 20 min i couldnt sleep because all i kept on hearing was heidi's ims go off.

i felt sick to my stomach after i woke from the nap, hence my hatred for food atm. i feel hella gassy. i burp every like 10 min.
rsfed it, but didnt do much :(

i think i will go running with marissa. but i feel its a fail since she hasnt called me yet. i should call her first. ...
i realized that i dont really like the idea of living in an apartment. it may be the responsibility that weighs down on me, but just living with someone else and sharing these responsibilities is just not very flattering.

i really like baby jayden.

VA and preying mantis are leaving tomorrow :( sadness. sadness.
but a year will pass by really super fast.
ok . i is pye pye right now.
i have a stomach ache and it hurts :( aish . I HATE FOOD RIGHT NOW.

man. tomorrow. starts. the never ending cycle of boredom. :(
and stomach aches. and hatred of food.

my hand still smells like jayden. im never washing my hand again.
i feel like puking.
goodnight.

its not neglected

its just. boring.
everyday is basically the same, so there would be no point in writing right? yeah correct. no point. because its the same everyday. so then . i mean . yeah.
but here are some quickies about my days since tuesday.
but it will take me some time to recall what i did because i do have short term memory to such extent.
wednesday. i seriously forget. ohmyword. i cannot remember. it must have been a very boring day to not remember.
thursday. ahhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuu. i remember. i went to class to take my spanish exam. easypeezy foshizzy. went home. took the wrong bus. went in circles. finally just walked over to the freakin bart. took bart. ashton came to pick me up at fruitvale bart. northloop. run errand for irene. babysat baby jayden. I LOVE HIM. so much. ashton brought me some really yuummmy dinner from kai? or something like that.
myt. last photoshop class :( was gona sleep over at wendy's but fail. so no nos. go home. something. sleep.
friday. class. man. stupid spanish class. we watched a movie since we were given a free chill day after 4 weeks or something. but man EPIC FAIL. the movie was so bad. i dont even have words to describe the movie we watched. i mean i know high school and college are different on like so many levels, but still gota have some morals no? man i havent even watched a movie like that in like my life.
basically the movie is in spanish. there are subtitles. its a mexican movie. basically seriously, no joke, every other word is a cuss word. and there is incest. ohmah gash. i wish i coulda refused to watch it. but im not sure if you can man bad movie. just bad movie. i think the movie is called dust to dust. but im not really sure. its just a bad movie.
well after class. met with chin po to eat lunch. we ate chipotel and sat there for 2 hours and conversed about ... something. interesting i think. then she accompanied me to the y to get nails. then i we went to avant carde or card or whatever. then i went home. then i went to the rsf. i went home. changed. annie pick me up and heidi. we went to the bayshore something. i just know its next to the ferrry in alameda. im not sure what the point of going there was, but whatever. then went to hannah's house and ate cotsco lasagna ...(i dont know how to spell that), mashed potatowith ketchup. it was cindy's and juanita's bday. so we ate cake and ice cream. then me and hannah went to get her baby at babysitting. .. i want to babysit soo bad. i like ryan and taylor...btw.. taylor was at the same thebabysitting place and the whole time i was there i was calling her maddy. messed up i guess. :P but i think she still responded. camme back. dude hannah's baby is tiny. like small. has her own baby acne. pretty ahhh ... wierd. but shes still cute. then we leave. i went to joy's place. ronke was there too. i think we be chillaxing for a little. i made a card for noelani.
happy bday noelani. today.
slept.

today:)
woke up. went to eat brunch at jim's in alameda. with virginia, wendy, mulan, janet, olive juice, ronke, josephine, tshieh, joy! it was yummy. but im never eating that much again. visited the alameda library. i dontknow why. then me tshieh and joy went to walmart. i so like that place. a lot. its just so cool. if walmart was my friend, i would say, he/she would be my best friend. because. it has everything. literally and figuratively you could say. spent like 2 hours at walmart. JAJAJAJAAJ. i dont even know why we spent such a long time. well because i guess you could say walmart is a great friend. come back to mulan's place. me mulan and josephine, walked along the pacific ocean. uhu. you know it. the pacific ocean. ze breeze was oh so powerful and oh so magnificent. uhu. man. there are some cool stuff on the shore ish. i saw lotsa baby crabs and a live shellfish...? i think. anyways. it was pretty awesome stuff. went back home. i dont know what else we did after. oh. i made more cards. for varginia and joy for their pai pai. and then we ate dinner. some spaghetti and bread and good stuff. had cookies and icecream for dessert. then we all played apples and apples... it think that what the game be called. ITs fun. i must say. its really really fun. wanted to play some mooo. but the postgrads are getting old, so i guess they need their early sleepy time.
i wasnt really suppose to sleep another night in alameda, but just happned so. i guess ill go wit the flow. i dont really care. i guess i get to spend more time with the preying mantis too.
i just realized i have to make a card for annie, and if i can one for vivian too. not that i have to, but just want to. making cards is like an obsession, you make one, two, three and then you just want to make one for the whole wide world. but it takes too much time to make fshizz.
im kinda really sleepy now.
but i have to make cards.

man i feels bad. i was suppose to see joeun today and hang out with her practically the whole day because she came to visit berkeley :( sorry joeun, i will see you tomorrow. im so full. i want to shoot my stomach right now.
i want to babysite so bad. i dont now why. i just want to.
i think im going to go now. because. i need to sleep. maybe i can wake up early and make cards. JAJAJAAJAJ. man who am i kidding. i will never wake up. but i cannot withstand my eyelids. i heard eyelids have like a billion bacteria or something. and if you feel your eyelids really heavy, that means that they trippled in amount. maybe that be ridonk. i don knw. thats pretty gross though.

w;alkdjfa;slkdjf whateversss;a a asdf;aldjf.
ramble ramble ramble, basically thats what i did. :P
bye.

SAME OLD.

yeah. what else can i say. it is. same. old.
every week has basically been the same. no joke. foreals. ahh times a million.
i guess except for the weekends. :P
i was looking forward to the yosemite adventure this weekend, but it got cancelled. but i mean.. im not like urrhhh hul hul over it. actually i kinda feel sort of relieved. maybe cuz i just went to retreat... man i was actually beat. dead. so i guess i need a chillaxing weekend. i dont even remember the last time i had a free saturday to myself. waking up at whatever time i wanted. i guess this saturday is it.

as for todays. i forget what idid. but i will remember in about 5 seconds. so you just wait. okk i remember now. that was actually 3 sec.
class. come back homesies. ate me a samwich for lunch. i actually had galbi for breakfast. strange. yea. stared at screen for 2 hours. took a nap. funny because i fell asleep in front of my computer while heidi was doing her hw and she thought i looked funny. hmmm. maybe its not funny. but i just looked funny to me, myself and i. heidi finally got her netbook today. and so now she has internet. let teh world rejoyce now.

went to rsf... worked out very little because i didnt know so many ppl would be using the machines... so waited quite a bit.. and got to excercise almost zepoo. prayer meeting. bible studies. i realized how helpful the prayer meetings and the bible studies are. im glad they be what they be.

steph invited me over to see sarah. but steph bailed to alameda. nice one. jk. but i just stayed over at sarah's place we chatted about basically rubbish i think. but did find out some interesting facts about ppl today. its not bad stuff. just interesting.

i think i am too curious for my own good.
but i seriously cant help it.
when i walked from sarah's place to my place, i realized this was the first time i actually felt a little insecure about walking bymyself at 1 in the morning. whatever. no can do. its not like ima get attacked. so i be fine. is all good.

what if eating food was a sin?
seriously . what if. JAJA. jajaja. JAJAJAJA. who knows.

sleepy. chap chap. gg. im so usedd to saying gg. instead of saying goodnight i say gg. JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJA. im not delusional. its just that its pretty ok and normal.
gg.

battlefields

many of them.
its like your still. but everything else is a blurr. cuz it be moving too fast. something happening there and something happening somewhere else.

drama is stupid. save it for your mama.
jk.
but foreals yeah. it is.
i wish i was braver. im not a coward, but. i wish i could give myself that extra push to confront upfront.

sleep in class.
spanish class hella boring. well. which class isnt.
went to y. did some bible reading . uoo.
yogurtland w skim and rosie.
reg bought a new macbookpro. i want one now.
spent hours at kelly's place.
chemily cooked some awesome bomb marinated galbi. props.
home.
mr. president monkey and mr. crazy came to my apartment to fix my drawers :) :D :DDDD x 1000
i can finally put my clothes in.
drawer fixing. hurting. but got the job done.

2 hour long talk with paige on the phone. wow. that was hella long. i went outside to talk. i bet the whole neighborhood knows about my private matters now. one of my friends who lives on the second floor ... heard about 1 hour of my convo before telling me she heard everything and to be quiet -____________-. shoot myself. but ill get over it.
not digesting very well right. didnt take in the meat too well. keep on burping and feeling sick. i want to puke.

ok.
too late. im out. im lagging. dude.
i have to cut my nails. they be too long.
another long-awaited, dreadful day tomorrow. blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhsh.

soph dis retreat

one word: defeated.
tired.
sleepy.
that actually be 3 words. whatever.

im so tired. but i guess i have to say retreat was pretty enlightening. more than any other time.
friday. arrived at sierralodge at about 9 30. bonfire. banana boat. it was ok. sing hymns. sleep.

saturday. wake up at like 8. shower. breakfast. dt. bible reading. session A w pastor tony (forget last name) then pastor Ed gave like a small summary. lunch. i forget what we eat for lunch. KAYAKING. :D fun stuff duddeee. rad. got flipped over about 3 times. flipping over with michelle 6 times. because we dont have no balance. the freakin lake is nice. weather was hot. perfect weather for kayaking. :) go back home. silent reading time. i felt like i was reading from a reader. no joke. staying awake was hard, but just glad that everyone else was going through the same thing. skim was sleeping and su was falling asleeep, so i actually didnt feel alone i guess. dinner. session B. bonfire. headache. sleep.









sunday. wake up super early. my small group be the breakfast crew. ahhh. i was soo freakin sleeepy. got over it. shower. safeway yogurt is so hella delish. then dt reading or something. sunday service. twas good. but sadly i forget the message. short term memory. small group time. good time to talk about our frustrations. lunch. fresno is not cool and it does not have a "hood". hence the fresNO. hiking. the shortest hike of my life. it was actually just a 3 min walk. but the lake we came about was pretty. i wanted to swim. but blehh. i guess we couldnt. we go back. session C start. actually it was just a Q and A session with pastor ed and kelly. the best part of retreat.i think. jaja. lots of questions. i asked like 2.. and 3 on behalf of paige. :P dinner time. save best for last.
reflection time. clean. go home.
car ride back was so fun. going up was actually the longest ride ever.
coming back down, we played contact. SO FUn. :P






i would elaborate on what i learned ... but im too tired right now.
i was the only one with a camera on this trip besides cynthia, who had a digital camera. but too bad i dont know how to take pictures. JAJA.

tooooooooooooooooooooooo tiiiiiiiiiiireddddddddddddddddd.
:( ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. schoooooool toomorrow. im going to die. :( ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh weekend is so short. :((

LOrd help me. calm my heart. give me patience. tame me.

jumble bumbles

uhh. hella update.
im not sure...but i think i had no time.
i havent been on the internet that much this week. which is wierd, because i is what i am.

so i dont remember much of my week.
i saw my grandparents.
drove around an hour to see fireworks on the 4th.
went to huntington beach with skim and paige.
grandpa went bonkers.
ride back up to norcal with stupid ppl and stupid music.
class. bible study. rsf.
class. y. lydia's place. annie kim's place for superlicious dinner. paige came from socal. she sleep at my place. visited chemily's place and also met with skim.
class. study. berkeley marina run w/marissa. myt. rsf. write first spanish essay. :P

week went by pretty fasties. not very sure what i did exactly. but whatevers.
my grandparents left to korea :( WAHHHHHHHHHH. ooii weels.

living with a roommate is alot HARDER than what i expected. sometimes i feel like im going to have a heart attack. plus. im a passive. which makes it even worrsee. :'(. God be with me.

tomorrow is soph retreat. kayaking. hiking. flying in teh air. good stuff. im pretty excited. we see how it goes. i dont have any expectations, but i hope that it will be worthwhile.

not much for update for me. but whatever.
float in the water.
and go with the flow.

home feels so good. like never before.

i just got home maybe 20 min ago. actually no. but here goes.
woke up extra early today. 9am. to pack and stuff.
took shower. had pizza for breakfast :( not good.
went to class. took test. easy foshizzy.
went back home.
peter came pick me up.
pick up lloyd at dwight apts.
eat jjajangmyun in oakland. yummy man. but not very healthy.
leave berkeley.

TOOK US 1 HOUR TO GET TO PLEASANTON from berkeley. dang. what a nightmarish ride. i slept for like 40 min thou. woke up in the middle of traffic and thought we were already half way -__-. man. traffic like crazy. i know we left berkeley at around 3 30 or so. stopped by half way at random city to eat dinner. in n out. but i didnt really have dinner cuz i craved ice cream.
lloyd dared me to eat a fry that was on the counter (who knows where that fry came from/or was). i ate it. he owed me a mcflurry. so ate my mcflurry.

man. actually the carride was pretty chill. 1. lloyd is hella wierd. but actually thats fine. i like wierd ppl for some reason. 2. peter is wow. hmm. korean wannabe. which is cool too. selection of music was HORRIBLE. i had to listen to like 2 hours of ugly music. man when i say ugly. its so ugly its not even funny. hardcore rock or metal is just man. i dont even know how to explain it. whatever. got back at lloyd by putting on some kpop. served him right fool.

good funny stuff in the car. man but longest carride ever. peter dropped me and lloyd at my house at like 11 10. i gave lloyd a ride back to sara's neiborhood. on tthe way though we was frantically looking for a vons or a seven eleven to get skim a cake or whatever close to a cake we could find. ended up stopping by a seven eleven. got her some pound cake jaja and candles. :P
me and lloyd kinda "surprised" skim and sang happy bday. then gave lloyd a ride to his friend house and skim tagged along to also say hi to their mutual friend.
ok anywyas.
i just needed to come back home. man. rest. grandma. grandpa :)

basically from the time we left berkeley to the time we arrived home took us a total of almost 8 hours. dang dude. seriously dang.
thank you peter :) for the ride.

ok. im seriously so tired and sleepy now. i have to knock out. tomorrow. dt with skim and paige:) maybe beach. BYE.

MAN. home is good and so is freakin ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE!. havent watched that show since i was maybe 8 or 9 or 10. man. watching again brings back so many memories. man yeah whatever. good stuff.
bye. out.

officially homefried

yesboi. im going homsies tomorrow.
i must be the most stupidest retardedest person ever. writing on this good for nothing blog instead of going to sleep.
im pretty sad/mad/hellatired/puzzled right now.
i was staying up to finish my online hw for my spanish class. well since i is specialist at procrastinating to the core, i figured. i got this. but dude. spanish hw takes me like 2 hours to do . man. so i come back home and finish capitulo 1 and 2 and then i forget that i had to also finish paso c. so im on my way to almost finishing all assigned hw for paso c, but as i am finishing.... it logs me out of my account. sad thing? sure. so when i log on again. ALL MY WORK. MY PRECIOUS FREAKEN WORK IS GONE. you know what. i would do it over again. but i will not. because im too tired and this is just ridonk. so too bad.

yay. so the only thing i could be partially excited for is home. peter finally answered my freakin phone call. so we be roadtrippin. me peter and lloyd. odd. but i will make it fun. or i might just fall asleep.

IM SO HAPPY OH SO HAPPY HAPPY TO DIEEEEE NANANAN NANANA NANANANA!!!!!!!!!!
hmm... just partially. because i get to see my grandparents. because i love them oh so much and everyone knows that.

i never knew it. but i think i will suffer living in americana. ASIANS ARE LOUD. man if you think im loud. your CRAZY FOOL. you have to come to americana to experience the real loudness.

to sum up my day:
class. lunch at the y. tried doing this stupid spanich hw but had no something. had to buy it for 100 bux. estaafadoooresss. came back home. ran for 20 w marissa around campus. ESPANICH HW online. then myt class. I LOVE BABY JADEN. :( ... for about 10 seconds, holding that baby made me want a baby. like my oWn. but only for 10 ... maybe 9 or 8 seconds. i lovest babies. they love me too. except whiney/hostile little girls and boys. went back home. rsfed it. i think ive become a workout machine. no joke. 20+15+40.

happy bday skim/snorlax. yesterday. happy bday today. marissa. i feel old.
im dying. i havent packed yet.
i have so much to do.
im going home ->(insert heart) JAJA. man im lame.
i can be cared for. hooray.
I WILL HAVE FOOD! JAJA! UNLIMITED!
espanich test in 9 hours. im either going to do really well or im going to do just average.

im hungry. JEEZ. i wish my stomach would just feed itself. like without me having to feed it. im dying.
eyes. are. going. out.
LDKJFAL;FJADSL;FJ AHHHH ISH.
i need to pack.
hmm maybe i shall do that in the morning.
tomorrow traffic.oh hek yes. i love that.
im still sweaty from rsf... eww.
i should change.. right about... now.

ok bye bye. tomorrow i will be writing IN socal! and i can finally drive a car.
i dont know why.. but ive been so badly wanting to drive.

AH OK IM OUT I CANT HANDLE THIS NO MORE. peace ->(insert peace sign [handmotion])

yes-officially foodless

now it is official. certainly it is.
the only thing i have is mac and cheese. but i dont even have a microwave.
i have lamion, but seriously. i dont want to be that sad. eating lamion everyday. ohmygash. really.

i might go home this weekend.
to see my lovely grandparents. im so happy. ohmygash.

but i dont know. hmmm its ok i guess.
well yesterday i found a nightstand outside fulton and channing? im not sure.. but it was a sweet deal.

oh hayoung came today to visit heidi from socal.
staying over at our place for 2 nights i think.
ok.
byebye.