gash. cant get any worse

headache.
neck pain.
abdominal pain.
heartache.
backache.
my right ear is plugged.
so bad.

gash. id rather be in a coma.
days arent getting any better.
mood isnt either.
gray.

i realized at the beginning and at the end of every year. i get 1. hurt. 2. cell phone dies.

i felt like puking all day.
eating schedule is so messed up.
im sad.
bye.

ThankYou

1:30 am.
eduardo says:
mr kim played a big role, you could say
he gave the question of purpose
you pretty much have none as an atheist
you're born, you live, you die
the universe keeps on expanding on and on
etc
basically, its depressing
god gives me purpose
i live to work for him, all i do in life is so he can use me for his own purpose
k
hey, i guess its better than being apathetic
i feel an actual drive to do something
instead of sitting around doing nothing
becky says:
dude
eduardo says:
i have a purpose
becky says:
im so proud of you:)
eduardo says:
ty
becky says:
are you gona go to church now?
eduardo says:
dunno about church
i don't know which affiliation of christianity i want to join
i'm gonna look up presbyterian, catholic, etc
but eh, that doesn't mean listening to a preacher is bad
any preacher is good
becky says:
yeah
true
but you should go to
sunday service at least
eduardo says:
yeah i know
doing this feels good man
helps me get through my day, you know
i have a challenge, i call on god for support
helps a ton
becky says:
yeah im glad dude
im really really glad that you feel that way
eduardo says:
amazing feeling
becky says:
i should go thank
mr. kim
eduardo says:
feels like i was lost then found
becky says:
im happy for you dude
now you just gota read the bible
and pray
eduardo says:
funny thing is most people go through this
i try to pray every day now
you know
when i was little i thought praying was boring as crap
it felt like i was talking to nobody
now feels like i'm talking to somebody
i'm sure jenny is going through the same things
becky says:
jajaaja
i dont know
eduardo says:
she doesn't feel too hot about christianity
becky says:
i think the only thing she thinks about
is
playing with her friends
when she goes to churhc
eduardo says:
lol of course
she's a kid
im sure she'll straighten up
becky says:
yeah you should help her
eduardo says:
its funny cause a lot of people go through this too
becky says:
little by little
befor eyou graduate
eduardo says:
they stop believing
during their teenage years, then join religion again later on
makes sense
becky says:
yeah
i was kinda like that
a litttle in high shcool
eduardo says:
man
just feels great
seriously, i have a goal to work toward
everything looks clearer

that made my day. even though im sad and struggling.
im glad God is working through my brother
im so happy for him.
im glad hes found God and a purpose.

-

ready set go

SUUFFFFEEERMOOOOOREE YEAr.
BRING it on.
i will lose.

i hate school
i hate life
i hate this very moment.

tuesdays and thursdays are hell.
class from 8 to 12 30 then again at 3 30 till 5.

i donated blood today. this might be the highlight of the day.
because at least i know i saved alife. or a semi life. or a quarter life.
i like donating blood. for various reasons that is.

i didnt have a single proper meal today. woohoo.
i had some grapes for breakfast. i ate peanut butter cookies right before donating blood. right after donating blood i had cheezit.
after 3 30 class. mr. mongolian beef bought me some yogurt land. man it was good. and filling. i took a nap for hour and half. marissa calls me. lets go to calapaloozi. i didnt wana go. but iwent. talk with marissa. some deep stuff i must say. marissa left me. what a freakin ditcher dude. jk. she loves me too much to do that.
i walked bymyself along sproul looking like a loner for once. i was a loner. loneliness. i realized that when you are a loner everything feels/seems unfamiliar. why come. MAAAN IM TALKING LIKE IM HELLA DEPRESSED.
actually i am. but its not very pleasant.
im very hungers right now.
since i haventhad one proper meal PUAJAJAJAJA. my stomach hurts kinda, but ina hungry way, but not quite.

emchoch called me over to cafe med. talked with her. long good talk. even though i was falling asleep. that girl got mah back. went back to her apt. took a good look. looks like a nice place i could crash at whenever i need food. JAJA. jk. im JUUUUUUST KIDDDING. they do have tons of food though. anyways she gave me this thing to put on the wall. its pretty abstract kinda. wierd. kinda. but i guess its not too shabby.

LOL. i dont like that word. LOL. i dont use. JAJA. is the way to go. treat you right.

funny how joeun and san live right above us. they creak to us with their walking. creak creak creak. ima buy a broom and broom their floor. like the old lady in an old movie.

I AM SLEepy. EVEN AFTER that yeah im sleepy. gash go shoot myself.
oh stacks time.
my plan for the rest of my life. livin at stacks. starting next week.

no more spanish 2 for me. its all about korean 1ax. perfect for me. my level. will be taking the class with skim. but who knows how that will go. should be fun. atleast something should be fun jeeeeez

im seriously going to rot . nahh. i am already rotting.
what am i doing with my life.
oh yeah its rotting away. i can see flies already gathering and they be buuzzzzzzzing right now. like buzz buzz zzzzzzzzzz.
i would think flies' favorite doll to play with would be domo. he be a 똥. ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ.

whatever shall this me do . short nails ftw!

i think i am a serious person. why not. why not.
people just need to get to know me right. i mean its not like just by meeting me once or twice they can take me seriously ? right? idunno. im just saying.
my stomach hurts in a wierd way.

tomorrow ill try korean. lets see how this goes. and ill probably be dropped out of spanish 2. fa;lkjdsf;alsdjf.
goodnight. nao. ni hao.


maybe now. its time to let go. really let go. and find something else.

200th post

congratulations.
my blog.
the 200th post. not too shabby eh?

well. lots of things have been going on in my life.
im struggling with alot.
but who in the world cares.

woke up today. pretty late.
went to buffet town. had a short talk with sieun. not the best talk.
then went to paige's. chilled out at her place for 2 hours or so.
we talked alot and jammed some.
went to nswn. at 4.
it was pretty good. i liked last years better though. maybe cuz it was in a bigger room or something.
then me san joeun went to eat at papamingo's.
then i went home for an hour.
then iwent to nswn again with sarah and brenda at 8 because sarah wanted me to go with her again. and so being the nice person i is. i went to make her happy.
then me sarah went to yogurt land
we talked. what a nice talk. i like sarah very much. :)
went to her apt. chilled there for about 40 min or so. then she walk me home.
and now im home.

i didnt know eating too much yogurt gave you diarrhea. waow. what a fact.
im going to start going to rsf tomorrow.
yesh.
i shall.
talk with marissa. for a long time.
man today is alot of good talks.
good stuff.

find out new things everyday.
what an interesting world.
class is starting soon.
its already almost wednesday. which means. one more day of play and boom. goodbye. life as i know it.
ok
bye.
im not in the mood to write today.
im not happy. what can i say.

caltopia madness

i might stop writing on this thing.
just for various reasons.
maybe take a rest. a chill pill. acai berry juice.

anyways. yesterday church. caltopia with paige. got some good stuff. tshirts. pretty cool beans. walked around for about 2 hours or so. went to check out them sperrys. i want some. but i also want some other stuffs tooo. kick back at paige's place. i slept for about 2 hours. then i kinda forget what i did. then i went back home. oh ok no i didnt go back home because i went over to skim''s place with paige and then w mr fruity carols, mongolian beef and mr raccoon we goes to clark kerr to surprise nadia. it be her 18th bday or something like that. it was ok i guess.

go back to skim's place. i dont remember what we do there. then i go back to my place. paige and skim go to angel's or something.
then i go longboarding.
i m this close to buying a longboard so i can longboard whenever i want. it would be pretty convenient. im so ready to break every part of my body except for my head and i think my face. breaking a leg would be totally fine. i dont mind a cast. who cares really.

came back home i forget. then went to sleep.
today woke up pretty early. go to see san and joeun. then san go to wellsfargo or something like that on shattuck so i go with her. she drive then i drive and then we are family. jk. no i dont know. whatever. then we go to caltopia. i go again. whatever ima enjoy what i didnt last year. full throttle. i m not sure if i wana go next year. im too tired. today was something dude. i was there for about 4 hours. i dont even know what i was doing the whole time.
2 days i accumulated some good junk.
17 t shirts.
1 sweatshirt
1 zip up sweatshirt
1 sweatpants
1 tank top.
not too shabby huh.

my back hurts. i think im old now. its ok though. i dont care.

i flier alittle. get my charger today. no phone today. it was cool.
go to night market. meet way too many ppl. its fuzzy and blurry. hopefully i remember something or someone. yeaaaaaaaaaa.
then i go to sweathearts w mongolian beef, nadia and sekora or something like sephora. then bump bump bump.
buffet town. games.
marissa skim me lydia walk back home. i forget keys in skim's backpack.
chill at skim's place for like 30 min.
marissa is a wannabe korean. but she aint one she will never be one.
she try to say ohmy. but no good.
its fuuny though. funny. like JAJAJAJA. like that.
then we walk marissa home. jose and mr. messed up are so stupid. man very really stupid. very really very much too much. and so messed up in the head.

no one would le t me use longboard tonight. i was walking home and this guy i met one time was walking up with his longboard. chaching boi. i borrowed. i road for like 30 min. short but sweeet.

nao i sleep.
dun dun dun .
stars are lovely. on my arm. indeed.

coldness

jeez.
im so as;dlfjasdljfasd.
blah blah blah. i dont even know how to explain.
i dont feel like writing today. whatevers.
man ok. so i just read a couple of my entries just now and they pretty much suck in grammar and sentence structure and everything. i apologize for some inconvenience for those who are bothered by this, but i cannot help it, as i just write my exact thoughts and never look back.
so HELLO! :) i like you too ok?
yayayayayayay. lets play now!

SO OOOOO. jose told me to be ready by 9. SO I woke up at freakin 7 30 in the morning to get ready and everyting. wooow. freakin stupid stoogies came at freakin 11 . WAAAOOOOWWW. woaowowowowowwo. i was waiting man! waiting. waiting! just there. sit there and just waiting. aish. men. what the. ok jk. im not aish. its just that i during that time i coulda gone to the mi yong shil to dye my hair. -__- whatever is coo. they came by to pick me up at 11. then we was north bound. i drove the first 3 hours. we missed the 5 north JAJAAJAJAPUAJAJAJAJAAJAJA like almost 1 hour before the midpointish. AGAIN. i was going on the left lane. then matt suddenly yells AHH. isnt that the 5? and im liKE.. HMM late reaction for a bit. BUT sudeenly realize and go OHMYGAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH. FREAKIN aaAAAA. why freakin again! JEEEEZ. it happened exactly a saturday ago. wow seriously history repeats it self over and over again.

so yeah duhhhhrrrr.
we gota go like 4 ish miles ahead to exit and then turn around and go on freeway again then exit again and turn out again to get on the 5 freeway. then we was safe. UUUUUUUUUUUUH. yeah . finally. give myself a pat on the back.
so everyone was sleeping in the car except for me. it was a one on one time with nature and the still air. it was ok i guess. we interacted quite a bit.
i wento some 90 on the freeway. shhhh. shhh.
cut alot of cars. JAJAJA. i didnt mean to . jeez.
finally came about cattleman city or something like that.
ate in n out. yum yums.

oh nice thing happened today :)
everyone was in the car except for me, but matt assumes im in and so he starts moving the car, but he dont realize im not in, then guys yell what are you doing, but matt ignores, then finally car wheel go on my big toe. what a nice experience i tell you. then i yell GAHHHHHHHHHHHH GO BACK GO BACK. and then he go back. when the wheel be over me, i thought i had broken it or something. ahh gaash. i guess PTL For that.

go ride home up. island is a crazy psycho fool.
crazy singer.

back to berks! gaaah yay!
ate dinner with mr. fruity carols parrot :)
she bought me smart alecs! gaaaHHH i lava you mr redhead! i loves you lots ! YAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYA YAY FOR YOUR LAVA VOLCANO HEAD! ufufa;ldkjfa;sldfj ucha ucha ucha whoooooooo. voodoo.
then we meet lidia. then buffet town. i call it ka-town. LEGIT. yes.
ice cream overload.
stomach no good.
dfal;sjdf;saldfjasldfjasldjfa.
fun games.
then went over to skims place.
then jiyoung and becky go with me to safeway and skim come too!
we fun at safeway! yes yes yesye sye syes.
then we sleep over at skim's place! jes e;sjadflsdjfa.

well not really. cuz go to kim's place and fix her thing gaah. so long. no more that. please. gaahh. stare too much. too bright. jeebus.

;asdljfa;sldjfa;sldjf ;alsdjf;alsdjfa. lasjdf;lasdjfal;sdjf ldjsf;alsdjfslajfasldjf i want to go snowboarding so badly! NOWOOWWOWOWOWO. lets go. legs go.
man but there be no snow. so we cant go.
but soonners. must longboard more. telegraph real nice reaaal nice. when no one be there.

yeah today is too much.
im tired now. but not really i guess.
im sleepy now.
JAJAD;PFUDOIFUEOIJAJAJAJ A;DLKFJA;DLSJFJAJAJAJA;LDKJF;LDJFSLDJFDSLJAJAJA!

put yo monkey face onnnnnnnnn.
on and on and onnnn. on and on and onnnn.

oh hm. i love cold stuff. and the COLDNESS. its just awesome! and it just makes me really really happy. like so much its not even funny. berkeley is my kinda style at the moment. socal is a sucker. 100 hek nah. berkeley! cold stuff. oh man good stufff. me is so happy. cold weather is roveris.

PEACE YO-------------------.

haircut

im hungry jaaaaaaa. im hungry. jaaaaa. but i think its a different kind of hungry. its like im full but still hungry. no scratch that. its like a hungry . but its like not that hungry, but man its a hard type of hungry to explain. so hard. but maybe im like delusional hungry i think.

today. i was supposed to do things. but hmm i guess i decided to do none of the things. kinda wasted the day, but same time kinda glad.
i jajajajja dont remember what i did today.
except for one thing.
cut maah hair. jajaja. i dont think it was worth the 25 bux i pays. -___- gaaaah.
the length is the same, i just got it thinned any layered a little.
normally i whine about how horrible my haircut goes, but this is the first time complaining about not enough.
this got me thinking. i willl never be satisfied. which is how everyone is. i thought nahh not me man, but i realized that i am like everyone else. and that im not satisfied even after getting what i want. i shouldnt be that way. gota work on that man.

practice golf with dad again. i mean i lost the purpose of playing golf, so i feel no point in playing it anymore. i just feel very free. except when i come home and my dad makes me practice. only if he knew.
little jennifer is back again. shes annoyings as evers. she was crying on the way back cuz mom made her leave in the middle of her play time with her friends.
you know whats ridonk, 10 year olds on facebook. thats sad man. super sad. well not really, but actually yeah its sad. i mean im not sayin im not, but i mean 10 year olds is pretty sad.

come home. eat last dinner at home until november maybe.
home has treated me well this week.
chill in cerritos with jiyun. :)

i think i will just go home tomorrow.
i was gona stay a day longer and leave on sunday with fei, but whatever ill jus leave tomorrow.
but man i could do so many things tomorrow. gaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh
1. dye my hair. maybe cut it alittle more
2. beach with joyce and vjj and julia and jihae maybe
3. grocery shopping with daddddddd
4. hang out at jiyun's store.
GAAAAAAAAAH. i should just stay dude.
but i cant.
no i could.
no.

:( waaaaa.

i hate my undecisiveness.
yes i do. a lot. man.
MAAAAAAAAAN. ok ima just leave tomorrow. whatever.
WHATEVER! AL;DSJFLASJFD;LAJFD;L ALDJF;LASDJFDALFJADSAFLDJA;SDLFJ. ok bye bye freakin socal. jk. i love you socal. ok not that much. but its ok.
but gahhhhhhh. ok im set. im jus leaving tomorrow. no biggie. ok.

i needs to cute my hair some more.
i think im balding.
my hair is naturally thinner now and less hair is coming out of my head.
im pretty sad man. but i do have alot of hairy eyebrows i think. and hairy arms. so i dont really get it, why no on my head. !!!!! rrr.

hair feels really thin though thinn. i feel like old woman with no hair. whatever. if age wants to eat me right now, i guess i cant stop the clock ticking tock tick tock. i miss my high school day hairs except for first 4 months of 2007.

i dont like white heads on my nose. i should sleep early. them stupid guys want to leave at 9 in the morning :( gaah.
and now i find out i have to drive the first half of the trip! yay me!
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. i was gona sleep those first 3 hours. ;aldjfasdljfa;sldjfads. ok its cool its cool. at 9. there should be lotsa and lotsa traffics in LA area. actually just losta and lotsa traffic in general cuz tomorrow is dorm move in day so everyone is going bezerkeleys.

my name is goku and this is my home. thats what he said.
yay got 13 new songs for ipod. i is so excited.
kpop time in matt's car tomorrrow. JAAAJAJAJJA!
they all gona be sleepin anywaysds;lfjas;ldjfasdf. JAJAJAJA.
kk man i gota wake up at like 7 in the morn so i should go to sleep but i still havent packed yet which is genius! oh man it is.
ok goodmorning.

some family time bonding

woke ups early today.
really early. 7 30 am.
showered. drive to LA.
took forever man. forever forever. we move very little.
we got there in an hour and a half ish. man traffic in LA is terrible. i would never want to commute or anything because that is horrible. terrible.

arrived at pava office. broder went to get an interview. i was waiting outside. it was whatevers. they had candies. i took some. i had water. it was yummy. so basically in order to get the president's award, broder needs to read one book a weekand write up a report about it. he needs to be teacher's pet and suck up to the teacher like crazies ohhh. pshhhhh. who knows if he can do it. i mean he wants stanford. he need more than that.
after interview we went was on like normandie, olympic, 7th street or something i forget man. we went into this store my mom used to go to. it was hella sale, so we wento. WOW. i hate everything in that store. kk no thaat bad, but everything be for old ppl. man they aint got no taste for their life. but mom ended up buying a couple of clothing items. she returned one of the suits because i mean. it was hideous. really really. but the lady at the store didnt want to refund her. JAJAJA. after eating we goes to eat SO YUMMY KYO CHON CHICKEN YEYUHHHHHH. SO YUM YUMS DUDE. GAHHHH. GAHHHHHH IM SO HAPPY. HAPY HAPPY. IT HAS BEEN FULFILLED. everything i had been craving in berks, i hads. i can die in berks . happy. after lunch we goes to a k market to get me some face packs. my mom said its good. so got some. should do once a week.then dad said! make sure you do twice a week. i think thats kinda funny how he really cares about my skin. :P this one lady was also selling some fobby tshirts, i wanted one, but found out later that the tshirt was $50. get outa here dude. i mean its not great quality. design is bleh. im serious not 50 bux material.

go home. traffic not as bad. it be alriiite. i chillaxed at home for about an hour before going to pick up chunk at her homesss. then we goes to yoko to meet up with ron. they had some good food, but i didnt since i had freaken good kyo chon chicken which cannot compete with yoko. jk. they be at the same level. but anyways. we stayed there for a good hour and half talking and catching up like crazy. everyone of us had something to tell about the summer. interesting stuff. after eating we goes to hanam chain. we goes to paris baguette to see if sue was working, but nope. no working. but i did see some sales at the beach galleria so i told my mommy. then we went to ron's work. the little prince cafe. its pretty swweet man. its like a hella fancy upgraded chuck e. cheese. really nice.

me and chunky went over to her house. we played wii. i didnt know she had a wii. man i woulda gone over more often this week. jk. jk. im lazy nyways. but played mario cart for about an hour. then she gave me some socks from korea :) gahh lovelyyy. i love korea socks. and a pretty tshirt witha pocket :D weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
but went home because i thought i had to go play golf, but i found out daddy was eating with ppl. so i coulda stayed longer at chunky's place playinnn.
but decided to stay home.
told mommy about beach galleria sale.
we goes JA! she was excited.
shoes were $10.
she was so excited actually. when she saw the sea of shoes and heels for 10 bux. man it was hella cheap actually. i bought 2 pairs for mommy. JAJAJa. them ajumahs were like awww she such a good daughter, and blah blah blha, i wish i had a daughter kinda stufff. man jaja if they only knew how bad of a daughter i actually am. :( i wanted to do something nice for mommy.

JAJAJAAJ BUT THEN my mom bought me 2 shirts on sale! JAJAJAJAJAJ. so basically it evened out. JAJAJA. but i guess thought that counts. I LOVE YOU MOM! even though ive never said it to yo face.

when i came back from summer school i noticed how much my broder had changed. he actually matured. ohmygoodness. he will do things for me without sighing. he dont reject me no more! i mean when i ask him to do something. but im really happy :) broder is maturing and growing up. jejeje. i love my broder too. im probably never going to tell him. like ever. maybe waaaaay later.

sister has been gone for 3 days for retreat. i dont even feel the difference with her gone. jkkkkkk. i actually do somewhat. i mean there is no more annoying little girl being an annoying little girl. jkkkk. but its alot quieter around the house. but i must say i should spend as much time as i can tomorrow. since she be coming tomorrow. we should go eat dinner tomorrow as a family. or maybe not.

i miss my camera. but it could be worse. it could.
I LOVE MY HOUSE! HAJADJF;ALSDJFA;LSDJF YAYYYYYYYAYYYYAYEYYYUHH. so much .
i hate this heatnesss.
100 degrees again man. this is madness.
i really like dynamite. it sure pumps me.
oh noes. school super soon. ad;fja;dlfj.

IM CUTTING MY HAIR TOMORROW. i was gona today,. but fail, no appointment. but im rather scared oshhhh. man man man man. but my hair probably weighs a pound by now. it be so heavyy. its like heavy heavy.

socal is disgusting hot. i hate you.
now i own a couple of fobby shirts. i like fobby shirts. i should get more.
;jad;fjad;lfasjdf
pies. i dont like pies.
i have strawberry cheescake. its pretty yummy. but soo many calories. nom nom nom.
who goes to the zoo anymore. just watch it on tv.

gombawa.

BYE BYE CAMERA :(

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH . IMA CRY.
IM SAD, DEVASTED, IM HURT, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. MORE SCREAMS AND TEARS AND SCREAMS AND TEARS. im really really sad though. super super sad. i am. i am broken, just like my camera.:(
yes. my camera. is dead.
no not alive, but dead. wahhhhhhhh!
im so freakin sad. jaja. i just got it like 7 months ago. and its goneers. bye bye. i went to the camera repair place, well on the way, i got lost and went to the wrong place.JAJAJA. yeah im a loser. but the guy told me that there was no way of repairing that. i would have to send it in to canon and that would cost me $220. :( ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. im soooooo saaaaaaaaaaaad. so i was thinking if it would be worth sendiing it for a fix! a;lsdjfalsdjfas;dljfa. asked dad and replied with a "are you crazy face" and said are you crazy. and then he laughed at me. he thought i was stupid or something. its ok i guess. i can get on with my life.
i might as well buy a new one. but i guess this time i have to get it myself. which is fine actually. yeah. im cool.
composed k?
gahhhhhhhh. im sad.
AHHHHHHH :(
sanapaegi il. september 19th. melona a pelona a melona.
a;dlfjkasdl;fjasd;lfaj.

my camera is dead. lets cry some more.
ok im done.

so today. woke up. hung out at home. i dont remember what else.
then went to pick up skim at home. watched her dog be funny. with her leg like wierd and all and her wrinkles and her old fur. aite. she be cute old doggy. and little. then skim came out. we went to the camera repair shop. fail. but itsok. then we goes to hanamchain. I ATE ME SOME DELISH mulnaengmyun to compensenate for my sadnesss.
then we went in the cute store and saw some cute things.

did i mention its like 100 degrees. im so sad. the weather is killin me. im so ying yeah yeaaaaaaaaa. dying i say. so hot.
but Thank God For AIRCONDITIONING! LIKE RIGHT NOW! YEYUHHH.
well me skim went to mochilato to do dt.
dt was good. good stuph.
i will be better! hwaiting!
talked some. skim's mommy came to pick her up.
then me bye bye. her bye bye. ok. then bye bye. togethus.
went home. chillaxed for 1 hour and then went golfing. -__-
it was ok i guess. but sonner or later gota tell man, gota tell.

i finally cut my nails.
ahhh so fresh and clean now.
you dont even know how nice it is to have short nails. i can finally type. oh and i have to cut my nails because i have a tendency to put my pinky finger in my ear and then i usually pick at it too many times and then soon enough it starts bleeding. JAJA! it always ends up bleeding. gahh. its not that gross really. but if i cut my nails, it cant reachh. ;) so its good. there is a disadvantage to short nails. i cant pop my white heads on my nose. but i mean i guess its a good thing, but i dont know.

I HATE LITTLE TIME I GOT.
i have to meet with too many people and im stressing out over this.
tomorrow i is going to LA with mommy and brah, he wants to get this presidents award for pava and needs to gets an interview. strange yeah. then eat lunch in LA. dang again. then meeting with chunks and ron and dunno with who else. friday. i double scheduled! AHHHHHH JAJAJA. i feel bad and i have no idea what the hek ima do. i hate myself. kp and hana or juliette and vjj. :( gahhhhhhhh. man i aalso gots to meet more ppl. and need to spend time with family.
also need to see kevin. GAAAAAAAHHH. jeez. so many ppl, so little time.

law and order svu! yeyuuuuh. serious good stuph. super awesome pawesome.
i gained weight -_- so much feeding.
man im eating good food.
back to starving mode next week. gah. its fine with me i guess.
ah maybe i should leave on sunday with fei. gahhh. hmmm. sunday? sunday... ahhhhhhhh sunday?

man haircut tomorrow? yes? A;DLFJASD;LFJASDLFJASD;FLAJSFA. i need to cut my hair! but i dont want to. im scared they will ruin it. and im hella monk about my hair. so if they ruin my hair, im going to cry like a little baby. because that is what i did sophmore year of hs. i know i know i have to cut my hair, but i cant go on with this. if i dont cut it, it going to bother me, if i cut it ima cry. i mean both are gona give me anxiety attack. to dye or not to dye? ahhhhhhhhhhh. conflict. yeah i admit i have the stupdiest kinds of conflicts, but whatevers. :)
and then there is also the - should i cut it in LA or the new ajumah my fam goes to or to my old hairstylist. DFL;ASJDF;LASJFL;ASDJFLA;SDJFAS.. DJFLDSJF;ALDSJFALJFL;ASJFLSDJFLSDAJFA.

bears like to eat meat. no. they like to eat veggies.
no they like meat. because i like meat too.
i need a job.

blisters. i got 2 again. hmm it hurts.but i like pickin at my skin. but it still hurts. i should pretend im dead for a couple of days. thats what ive been thinking of doing. like coyotes carrying their birds and letting them go in the light blue skies and the clouds. like cotton candy.
school is starting in a week.
im not excited.

yes. dad got gas in my car. yes. i dont have to worry about randomly stoping in the middle of the freeway or in the middle of the street. thats good.
man ronny moved :( she dont live next to me anymore. im so sad. no one lives close anymore. everyone is going away. oh well. im not moving. i love my house. i really do. one time i dreamt something really horrible. really. i consider it a nightmare, because my dreams dont get sadder, more horrible than this. so i came home and then my dad was selling the house. and then i started crying. BAJAJAJA. and then i woke up and i thought for a couple of sends and then looked around and realized i was still at home. very nice. click.

WE RUUUUUN LAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. sooooooooon.

TOUR OF LA

today. was a very full day.
im tired.
i did something i thought i woulda never done kk?

i woke up at 7 in the morning. cuz of my parents. they were noisy. i think i took a shower and just sat there and watched some tv. i think at 8 i got ready. i was supposed to go to the metrolink in walnut by 8 40 am which meant departing form home at 8 15ish. well. fail k? i left at like 8 20 and i got lost. gps stupid. made me go to los angeles, when i was supposed to take the 57. what a stupid gps. ok jk. its probably smarter than me. well anyways. it was 8 40 by the time i was about to get on the 57. so actually no it was like 8 42 and i thought i wouldnt make it cuz jose told me that the train left exactly at 8 57. so i thought man fsho idont think i can make it, so i told him if anything i would try. so i sped down the freeway yeyuhh and guess what i made it to the station by 8 53. YEYAAA BOI :P im def ridonculously ridik. yeah. i knows. anyways. katherine was supposed to come! but fail. freakin jose told her i wasnt comming :( but i made it on time. but anyways. parking was hard to find. so it took me like 4 min to find parking. i ran to get the ticket and the train arrived so i barely made it in by 30 sec. hella close call, but i wasnt the only one late. freakin jose, eric, matt, and island came 2 min before me, so not too shabby. anyways. train ride was ok.

we arrived at the union station. then transferred to a subway. we took a tour of the walt disney concert hall. its kinda boring but yeah def a hella beautiful place. after that, we goes to see the freakin city council, we couldnt even go in cuz they were filming that one cable show big love on hbo or something. never heard of it, but i guess it has its hype. hmm it was whatevers dude. then guys wanted to go to the cathedral, i forget the name. something of angels or something. its big and huge and clean and nice so i guess thats why its so famous. dunno.

we walked over to little tokyo or whatever. dude we walked soo much! gahhhhhhhh. and it was so hot today! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. jeeeeez. i was seirously going LOCOS and my legs were going baaadoooooooooonkkkk. shoot ohmygoodnes. anyways. got lost a little in tokyo, but finally got to the destination. matt wanted some pencils. i guess he's alittle obsessed with pencils but i totally understand him, since i have obsessions of my own JAJA. like cute stores. beleh f;alkdjfas. (my legs are cramping right now, so i have wierd leg-hurtin-spazzes at times) the japanese plaza had some cute japanese stores, but not as legit as the korean onessss JA! whoot whoooot. whatever that why i didnt buy nothing. but jose bought 2 shirts.
anyways. now im tired, hungry and tired and dehydrated. everyone else was too i guess.
man my glasses are really loose right now. i think its because i slept with them. ahh man that means i have to go the glasses place and get them tightened. ah jeez. im so lazy. but whatever. i wana go to jim jil bang!
well after tokyo town we walk like a mile to the subway. ahhhh jeez i officialy hate walking now. then we go to hollywood. at hollywood we walk 1 more mile. we finally arrive at freakin ROSCOES! freakin finally. that was the point of the trip basically i think. well since everyone said it was sooo good, i had set quite high expectations, so at the end, i was disappointedddd. baaadooooooonk. yeah. actually really very disappointed! i got a chicken salad. $7.90. it was ONE SCOOP OF CHICKEN SALAD AND THE REST OF THE PLATE WAS FILLED IN BY FRIES. WHAT KIND OF RESTAURANT IS THIS! GUESS WHO IS NEVER GOING BACK THERE AGAIN! OH YEAAAAAAAH. YOU KNOW ITTTTTT. MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YOUUUUUU FREAAAAAAK. wow what kind of food is that. i actually told the waitress off. JAJA jk. i did in a very nice way though. like how ridik this was. yeah seriously it was though. anyways. all 4 other guys got the same one succulent breast and (adjective i dont remmeber) wafffle. :P JA. chicken taste like kfc and i admit, the waffle was pretty above average, but i will not say it was yuummyylicious.
ok. so after lunch. we walked like 1 mile to the subway again.
got off the next station jjajaja. yes we need us some rest man.
got to walk the hoolllywood blvd, road, street, whatever that is. we gots to go to the kodak theater and the chinese theater. it was ok. reminds me of a year ago when i came with coni and her family. :)
saw the hollywood sign. close up. because of the telescope thingy. you put 25 cents. you see close. yay. jk. yay part jk jk. after that we walked 2 miles. ohmgyosoh another 2 miles. cuz we missed the first station. ok anyways. walked. almost dying by this time of heatness and pains. well took subway to ktoowwwwwwwn. yeyuhhhh.
went to eat ice kiss! again! second round of pat bingsoo. at the same place. man it was sooo good! cuz i was dehydrated. whatever it was good i guess.
jose wanted to go see the new korean mall. you know whatever. by this time, my legs were numb and i guess i didnt feel anything. we went to check it out. nothing new. whatever. so off we went to the station to get back onto the metrolink. ok thaaaaats itttttt. but im soooooo tired.

well anyways. came back to walnut. then after walnut i went to fulleton, had to meet my parents at cho man won!
WOOT WOOT! GUESS WHAT I ATE! YEYUHH I HAD JJAJANGMYUN AND TTANKSOO YUK! yeyah exactly what i was craving like 2 days ago! wooooooooohooooooooo. well anyways. i didnt plan it. my fam was invited to eat with justin's fam. so i guess it works :)
it was super super yummies! yayayyaayayya. but that is too much food again. in a day. oh yes boi. bring the pounds on!

after dinner dropped by albertsons, good ol albertsons. i feel so homie everytime i go there. got some cheesescake for the guests. justin's family came back to my house. they chatted here and theres. whatever.
came back home and talked on the phone for an hour and a half with skimsters. dang that girl knows me inside out. she says. you think so? or somthing like that an im likee. i know so.

so i was gona go down to socal tomorrow with mr. fruity carols cleopatra, but my parents wanted me to stay longer. and i guess i also wanted to spend more time with my parents. cuz i do miss them and the food. and i guess friends too. i just realized right now the freedom i got this week!
no more waking up early to go to class! ahhh but sweet jeebus this lasts only until next week wednesday. jeez. AHHHHHHHH GAHHHHHHHH;ALSDFJAS;DLFJDAS;FJDAS;LFJAS FSCHOOL SO SOON AGAIN . OHMYGOODNESS SHOOOT MEEEE AHH SERIOUSLY. goodness adsflajsf;aflfj. i dont want school to start so soon.
so yeah im just gona go on saturday.
but i dont kow.
im really just so indecisive really. im really sleepy now.
i might actually sleep right now .
ajaja!
that would be good actually.
i want bingsoo.
WHY IS SO CAL SO FREAKEN HOT. I HATE IT. so much. whilst the walk down LA, i was thinking how much i miss cal. NAT! just the WEATHER! jaja. yeah.
seriously yeah.
i have to take kimchi up to berk. i dont know how my fellow other travelers are going to feel about this.
oh well.
im cramping like crazy. my freakin legs wont stop hurting.
its so hot right now im thinking of taking a really cold shower.
yeah i might just go do that right now actually.
man i miss everything!
my dad is going bonkers over golf again. gaaaaaah. whatever shall i do. scooby doooby dooooooooo. where are youuuuuuuuuu. really really.
ok no more .
TOMORROW I WILL GO FIX MY CAMERA! REALLY REALLY!
i need to i want to!
REALLY REALLY!
cramps.
oh man i also noticed that today. i toured LA. hmm. i mean. i dont do that. not even often. not even ever. man i never thought i would be walking LA. wow. yeah. we were about to go to the zoo. i woulda seriously shot myself then and there.
goodnight.

korean bbq second round!

man. im getting fat here.
ive only been down here for about 5 days and my dad says he can already see extra fat on my face. maan thats not good to hear. actually i kinda knew this was gona happen, but i didnt know i was gona feel this crappy.
anyways today was a prodictive day i guess.

i woke at like 10 or 11 or 12.JAJAJAAJ. i dont remember!!! puaedfaslijf;alkj. whatever. i took a shower late, thats all i remember. i got ready. watched some tv and then chilled with mom at home.

so basically my mommy got some connections i guess. so since im def going to korea next year over the summer, she be like , ey you wana internship in korea next summer. then i go... why not ma? then she be like ok you interview today. and im like whhaaa?? today.. what the hekk..-___- so shes like you should dress nice... so im like aite fine fine. so i had to look nice today...man i wore like a girly shirt kinda.. uhhh. i dont wana again man. i think i got it. but i dont remember what position i interviewed for. JAJAJAAJAJa. not good. but JAJAJAJAJA. whatever. thats pretty sad though! JAJAJ. i dont remember the interview at all though. i mean i know i have short term memory and everyone must wonder, even myself, how i could forget how the interview went and what kind of interview it was.. whatever.. well, JAJAJAJA i really dont remember, or i would write it down yeeehhh?
anyways after that, i went to hmmm ROWLAnd! YEAH YEAH YEAH. ROWland. tgi fridays. yay! rowland cal connect! ahhh. man yeah im like full of cal connects. but it was good. todays was good. good good good. A O K . (thumps up and ok hand motion)
met a couple of good people . good stufffssss. it was cooooooool. ahhhh yeah
i told my embarassing stories. man they are embarassing man.
so i guess ill just tell my embarassing stories. why not. so i can remember and then i could look back on this and laugh at myself. man i can even imagine laughing at my self when im old. im probably still gona be ROFLING like crazy freak.
so these are the two stories i told during cal connect:

1. my room is the smallest room on my floor and during my freshmen year the heater was turned on the whole time because we didn't know how to turn it off. So basically during september, october and november (the hottest months out of the year at berkeley) I couldn't sleep because it was so hot. One day I was sleeping and I wake up at 5 in the morning because it was so freakin hot. I couldn't go back to sleep because I was sweaty and it was seriously hot. no joke. I decided to go to the hallway because it was a lot cooler. I really wanted to go back to sleep, so I decided to sleep on the hallway. So basically half my upper body was in my room and the other lower body was outside in the hallway. I woke up after 2 hours because the carpet was bothering me and making my face itchy. I never thought anything of it because I thought no one saw me, but 2 days after that happened, one of my floormates comes up to me and tells me that she saw me 2 days ago lying on the floor. She thought I had fainted or died or something and she was freaking out and was about to call like the police or something until she saw my foot move. Then like 20 min later i see bump into another floormate in the bathroom and she also tells me that she saw me 2 days ago lying on the floor. She said she also thought I had fainted/died and was also freaking out. she woke up her roommate because she didnt know what to do. They were also going to call someone until they came really close to me and heard me breathing. I was somewhat embarrassed.

2. One time I was studying at Unit 2 with Su for Asian studies. I was done at 3:30 am. I was walking back to unit 3 by my self and was getting pretty nervous since I had heard about bums and getting mugged, but one time, someone told me to be crazy and they would just leave me alone. I thought of that and since there was no one there and two bums walking the opposite direction, I decided to give it a go. I lift up my arms in the air and squated. Then I started yelling like a crazy person, actually more like a monkey/bear/psycho fool. The two bums looked my way and started imitating me. One of them lift up his shirt and went crazy. I was kinda scared so I faced them and went even crazier. Then I started running to U3 the same crazy way. but then I noticed that one of the white security vans were kinda following me and i stopped and realized how stupid i must of looked. That was pretty embarrassing.

ok anyways. i exchanged me some digits. again :) JAJAJAAJ. wow yeah sounds kinda shady but its all for a good cause mang.
hang tight.
anyways.
dude there is alot lady gaga wannabe's. i think its not cool. ok. not cool. i mean one is enough seriously. just saying.

after the cal connect. hmm justin, andrew, jerome, cindy, alex, chris, fei, denny, kevin, me and 2 of the freshies we met at the cal connect (ifroget their names) went to eat GOGI again JAJAJAAJ ohmygoodnes, how am i not gona get fatter like this. we went to some place in rowland. this time it was cheaper though and i thought it was better :P jaja no joke banchan was bomb delish like icecream in a mountain .. free falling into my mouth. i gueess i must say. GOOD STUPH.
ok yeah so that be it. i wento home
.
im sleepy and tired now.
full throttled.
kk.

opera blows

long nails blows
so does having a blister ... pop.

church in the morning.
LA kmarket. gorokae so freakin delish.

i like my brah and sis.
they changed alot. for the better that is.
i remember when i use to make them my slaves and we would write contracts and all that good stuff. ahhh good times.

came back home. watched some tv. then tried to sleep. but nah. dad made me golfing with him. i didnt golf in a long time so i got 2 blisters. they popped and it hurts lots and lots and lots and lots. failed to mention that i went to bakersfield with one of my friends to renew her driver's license. wow -____-. fail. im tired thats all i know.

today dad said. you are going to korea next summer. yay! but i dont feel too good about it because even though i really want to go and ive wanted to go in forever, i just have a feeling that if i declare double soc and media studies i gots to stay here like for the next 2 summers. a;lfjads;lfjasl;fdas;lf;a . freakin majors and summer school. i hate you. maybe i dont have to actually. maybe ill just take summer school again after soph year. ahh yeah that works yes yes yesy eys eys eses.
anyways i want to tutor in korea, but who knows. and then my fam will come to hongkong in august and then i will go wit them i think and then come back to korea i guess. ahh excitingness.

im really dehydrated.
my mom enjoys watching/listening to opera.
i think the worst kind of music for my ears are opera and heavy metal.
im so sleepy just listening to the guy sing. i actually hate it so much, my eyes are starting to twitch and my head is starting to hurt. no opera concerts for me man.
i hate california. its so hot. ohmygosh. im melting right now. so much. its hot. and im not doing anything and i think im sweating. ah ohmygoodness. shoot me now.

i liked the day of today.
i just chillaxed at home. i would say with the family, but i was upstairs most of the times, so i dont know if i can consider chilling with the fam.
and then hella wierd bakersfield. shady moments fsho.
whatever.
im so sleepy right now.
i have to go fix my camera tomorrow. freakin A.
and who knows what else.
i made a big poster card for ron. her beday was a month ago but i didnt get to say happy bday. but the card is actually very pretty. i took like 3 hours making it. wow i must say i is impressives.

i woiuld take a picture and put up my masterpiece. but no camera.
anyway. today i like.
tomorrow who knows what brings.
man already leaving home on sat.
i dont like operaa.
ok gooooodnight. wow its early too :)

SO LOST-fail

it all started this morning when i went to the fullerton cal connect.
what a bummer dude.
i was supposed to go on malvern, but i went on gilbert by mistake. man i must have gone 3 miles before i realized it was gilbert. SLDK;JFA;SLDFJ. anyways. turned around and went to the starbucks on state college. skim wouldnt pick up her phone, so decided to go to her house. i knew she was sleeping.
we were late. but whatevs.

cal connect was good. 5 students showed up, but it was well worth it cuz they had lotsaa questions :)it was me brian wang daniel something and skim. i cant type ohmygoodness. its either my laptop or my long nails. this is annoying me like crazy. ok gota cut my nails dude. i hate typing with long nails.
freshmen look very young and small. i didnt look like that.
im glad raymond came by :)
this lasted for about 2 hours and a half, so i left at like 12 40 to go pick up the mongolian beef at her homsssiieessas. we gots on freeway to go to the valley.
we got lost 3times. good goooood stuphhhhh.
so basically we missed the 105 JAJAJAAJAJa. mr. mongolian beef was like dude i think we went over 2 miles. i was like nahhh dude. but 5 miles afterrr jajajaaja we gave up. because me and ellen never saw the 105. turned around and went back. and after 7 miles. there was a 105!!!! what the. yeah. oh and we almost got hit by a huge truck because basically we were sharing the same lane. :)
so we cool. cruising for about 16 miles. then i was about to get on this carpool lane for the somethingnumber freeway which i forget and then ellen is like noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. and im waaaaaaa? and she like get off! and im like ahhhh ok ok. then i change lanes. then shes like ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and im like wuuu. and shes like the 405! and im like ahhh wat. what the hek. so i basically changed 6 lanes in like a time span of 5 seconds because we almost literally almost missed the 405. then me and ellen were like yeaaaaaboiiiii. so we were like trying to catch our breaths cuz ellen was hyperventilating and i was stiff as heck. so right after we came back to our groooove we were on an exit lane. and we are like oh man, i tried changing lanes really fast but failed to due so cuz there was a car right next to me on the right lane, so me and ellen were hopeless. i just exit. jJjajaja BUT we got lost trying to find the 405 freeway again cuz stupid signs suck like a monkey eating my peaches. finally, after 5 min of going around, we finally came about the 405 northhh. AHHHHHHHHHHHH. yes. its ok. its ok.
so the other 23 miles were pretty smooth. alittle nervous, but no biggy. we found the northhoff or something exit. yay. 송공!
went on for 3 miles. finally reached destination in 2 hoursssss :!!!!!! (its supposed to be a 1 hour trip) (but there was alittle bit of traffic or like traffic ish. or traffiky)
my hands smelll like garlic and onion. jee. still.
blahs.
we got the boba plac. met some freshies. it was fun.
lotsa people there. saw the wynn, andrew, nick, jiyoung, isaac, vince, daniel oh, mike chen, i think more ppl but i forget who. i heard 13 freshmeat showed up. which is pretty good i guess.
talked to some ppl. pretty chill. so fresh. too fresh. so little. got me some digits.i guess ill be chillin with a couple of them at cal. its so wierd not being a freshmen anymore. feels really really wierd. like beyond galaxy milky way status. jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjaaaaaaaaaaa. anyway. tis was fun. after cal connect northridge, a couple of ppl. i think, isaac, mike, vince, jiyoung, nick, mikes friend brandon, me, ellen, and andrew went to go bowlings. man i suck at bowling. but surprisingly ellen is really good a bowling. how in the world i dont know. i hate typinhg!!!a;djalsdjkg.
then we goes eat gogies. yumsies. in LA. but on the way thre WE GOT LOST AGAIN. YAAY FOR GETTING LOST AGAIN. we totally missed the 101 or something and had to exit and go around and onthe freeway again and find it and then go and then exit and then we got lost getting to gogi place. i hate LA streets. i hate them so much. people are so rude! im so freaken happy i dont live in LA.
i havent been in LA in like a star years. we goes to eat at o dae san. last time i went to o dae san was for my grad. didnt eat as much though. so i was sad. man the funniest thing. the guys call chadolbaegi shadow babies. what the hek. actually though i find it too funny. i think i laughed everytime someone said shadow babies. :) i like that. after dinner. we goes to eat eat bingsoo at ice kiss. and yes! WE GOT LOST AGAIN! went to the wrong direction, u turned, but got there. man thi day was just getting lost day. missing all the exits day. bingsoo was freaken worth it. i amoo bingsoo soo muhhhchhhheee. dang we were hella loud in there and the waiter had to come to tell us to chillax. but it was super fun :) we played this one card game called something something. i forget. but whatever it was fun. jiyoung and andrew lost so they had to drink the leftover bingsoo with everyones spit in there. (cuz we all ate out of the same bowl. some ppl found it gross, but i thought i was perfectly fine, maybe cuz im korean)
then after game it was 11 and we all went back home.
after i exit rosecrans/lamirada, FAIL AGAINN :D JA;DFJADS;LFJDLJFALFJD;SJFLD. went the freakin wrong way and then realized and then went the other way and then we missed bloomfield YEYUh. then u turn and finally freakin get on bloomfield. from there on, it was cool. dropped off mongolian beef at her home.

was coming home. then i remembered my stuph was in ellen's bag. its a day of fails. fails on top of each others. i went home first, sis wanted to tag along so she came and then we wwent and got. went back to ellen's. by the time i came home it was like 12 40 -____- i was out from 9am to 12 40 am. man by the time i came home i was exhaustedddddddddsfsdfsfslfd.

hella long day. gaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. so tired tired tired tired. sleep sleep sleep sleep! yes sleep.
my camera. why no work!
i need to fix it.
i want to take pitures.
nao.

the whole time i was out, my 10 year old sister was calling to check up on me. i dont think it thats wierd at all.
she only called 15 times to aask me when i was coming home. she told me it was almost 10 so i should come home now because it was getting late. she called at 12 too. what a wierd girl.

i have an in grown toe nail on my big toe! yes! fantastic.
it doesnt hurt at all yeah. cuz a 15 lbs bowling ball fell on my big toe today. i only realized i had an in growing toe nail until i checked my toe today.
maybe i have to get surgery! which is ok too.
but i tried fixing it and it bled so i gave up. -__-

i want to eat jjajangmyun. and tangsooyook. sounds good yeyealadf
a;ldkfjas;ldjflaj;sldkfjasdl;kfj love love dna!!!!
this is a good song and the first 20 seconds of the song is my ringtone.
MC Mong ft Mellow - 죽을 만큼 아파서
i like mc mong. he said. holla back at yo boi. :)

ok i go now. and fix my camera somewwhere.
bye bye. im super sleepy.
entries take a really long time to write.
bye.

WHAT A WIERD HORRIBLE WEEK

yeyeaahhh boiiiii. woooohooooo .jejejejee.
ok jk.
i havent written in a week. and i feel sad. i was about to write on my blog but every time i was about to, i got distracted with something else. uhhhh sadness. ok anyways. lotsaaa things happened this week. kinda. i think. im not sure. but ill see and rethink and rethink and see what i can get to.

im home now. yes yes yes. home home home. bombbombbomb.
im happy yet not at the same time.

recaps of the last week of summer school 2010.

monday. i forget.
ohhh i do remember something. i went to the berkeley marina at night. thats all i remember. and i liked it a lot. it was good stuff.
i saw skunks and raccoons! it was lovely. man i stayed there for 4 hours or so. it was good. i think i will go there more often.

tuesday. i forgot. i felt sorta miserable and horrible. i dont really feel this way. normally. so who knows what is happening to me right now.

wednesday. heidi left to socal. and i had oral presentation. smooth. came home. chillaxed at home. stared at screen. then went over to sally's and ate dinner.thank you for dinner sally :) after dinner met up with sieun at cafe milano. talked for 2 hours about intense stuff. i found alot of intereting things. that are not too interesting but rather hurting and very personal. i wasnt the happiest person, but im still going.
slept over at sally's. long talk with mulan.
skim. there are no words to describe you. just thank you and i love you too. alot.

thursday.
woke up. literally stayed all day at sally's. woke up at 12 30 . had a dead day before the final. good stuff. im notsure what i did for the next 4 hours i was awake. then i went to my apt to pack. watched a movie for 2 hours. then left to minnie mouse's place :) she invited me to study.
i didnt really have to study, but just went over some stuff. :P
pauline is awesome and so is princess jasmine. jejeje.

friday. woke up. took shower. minnie mouse made me kimchi bokunpap :) yayersss. yummy.
went to take the final. sj;adfjs;dlfja. easy foshizzy. A++ that class. a;fjsadf;lj.
after class met helen and chrispark. they asked if i was bored and if i wantd to join some video filming thing. why not. summer has a very cool and nice hair do and a plastic bottle in her head. she looked like the grinch peeps very cute. a;dlkjfa yeah it was fine. went home. packed some more. door repairman came to fix our door. peter pick me up. pick up sandy. VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM. GO TO SOCAL. man long hella trip. why are all the freakin socal trips so freakin long and far jeez. i could fly but a;lkfjas;dlfjdafd. i dont know. whatever you know seriously whatever. the drive actually wasnt that bad. lots of asian talk. lots of kpop talk. peter is the man. he is asian, wierd and likes kpop :)
i was on the passenger seat. as the shot gun persony, my duty was to keep myself awake for peter, but jje jejejeje ljfa;lsjf fail1 jajajajaajjaadf;jalsdjfa;l. fail fail fail. i knocked out for about 1 and a half. hmm i guess he was fine, with his loud music. sandy slept too i guess.
kinda quick stop at in n out. ate at 7 30 , hadnt eaten since 11 30. yummy sundae at mcdddds. got home in no time. talking about communist china and how hard chinese writing is and all that stuff. korea rocks. seriously it does. simple writing. simple ppl. jk. no simple ppl. crazy plastic surgery. japannese ppl are crazy. and funny, but mostly crazyy. pure entertainment. just crazy stuff. arrived home at like 10 50 ish. bye bye peter. thanks a latte. gave sandaay a ride home. surprisingly she lives only 10 min away from my homsies. :) i should sleep. now.
funny.

too much to do. too little time.
im feeling like a tattoo. im just saying my thoughts aloud.
a star would be nice.
i would reveal more of my thoughts if i werent so burnt out.
wow rockos modern life man.
wowowowowwooww. old stuff. i think i watched it last month.
i thought it was stupid. the stupid turtle and the cow. and i thought how HELLA WIERD it was. and the freakin frogss the neighbor frogs they are freakin freakky.

this week has been very very confusing and wierd. lots of thinking. which i normally dont do and lot of ups and downs. ADSFJAS;DLJKFA AHH I HATE THIS WEEK. SO MUCH. i hate it! its just bad stuff after bad stuff. this is certainly man vs man! by itselfff jeeez. ahh man monday. was horrible thoughts. tuesday was horrible thoughts. wednesday was EVEN MORE HORRIBLE. thursday was a tiny bit better. today was ok until night. i came home and found out about more horrible things. can my horrible week can get more horrible with horrible and sad thoughts. ohmygoodnes.

what a messed up week.
i am seriously crashing. my head is confused and crashed. and everything going down and going 1000 steps backwards.
man this is depresesing. and sad.
the only thing that makes me laugh right now is the japanese video. but thats just so short lived.

my bro wants to go to standford. good for him.
im so dehydrated.
there is shin ramen at my house.
somehow it went from YEYABOI. to uhhh and sighs.
i dont know howww.

i already miss berkeley though.
socal is so hot i hate it.

MAN i need help or something jeebus.

battle of relationships

so i think ive just realized that for the past 4 or 5 consecutive weekends i havent spent at my apt. i think it all started when 1. i went home on the 4th of july weeknd 2. dis retreat 3. wendy's house 4. ashton's house 5. suzie's house 6. jiyoung'shouse and janet's house. actually its been the last 6 weekends!!! JAJAJA. wow. seriously. (at all these houses, i spent 2 nights, except for week 6 in which i spent the first night at jiyoung's and the sat at janet's house) so i guess my roommate must obviously be sad and lonely sometimes/or most of the times. but i guess i didnt really realize that.

heidi was mad at me this weekend. basically the whole weekend.
reasons. i spent fri night at jiyoung's and yesterday night at janet's place in alameda. well the thing is. i did this in order to spend time with them older peeps because i know that during the fall semester i would not have enough time to go sleep over at their places, so i took advantage of the summer time as i do not have to study for nothing and have a chillaxing time with them older women. but i guess i didnt realize how much it bothered heidi.
she felt sad at the fact that i never really texted her when i was coming and so on. but the thing is, i woulda never really known if she had never told me which she did a couple of minutes ago.

i was actually pretty bothered because she wouldnt talk to me and so she seemed mad at me for some reason, but i didn tknow why. im really glad we talked it out. to make this relationship better we have to talk i guess, which i hate doing because i am a passive -___________- its actually really hard .

today i ate lunch with ellen's hg since i was with janet anyways. taylor is a cutie. hm after lunch service at willard... service was something. but honestly i was falling asleep and so were alot of ppl around me. it must be the dim lights and the comfy seats or something. after service i weeents in mr fruity carols car and we went to eat gom tangg :) with mr. raccoon, mongolian beef, mrfruitycarols cleopatra and mike chen's friend elaine. man their service is blehh sometmes. really. they didnt have mul naengmyun. fail. so we had to get bibim naengmyun which wasnt bad, but still. jeez. instead of giving me gogi, they gave me freakin seafood -______- aish. jinjaas. i hate seafood too. so it was kinda messy. whatever. i dont think i will ever go back. at least for this year or something. after eating that, came home and stared at some screen. :P bleeehhh~~~

at like 6 i went to rsf. i did elliptical. then i did cardio kickboxing with sanddaayyy :) i t was fun. then i ellipticalled some more until 9 ish. and then i met blake on the way home. went to visit his apt. ( i wanted quesadilla actually) so went to dwight chatted with dan. then did some more random wierd chatting with andy, wynn, steven, and i forget who else. they were talking to me through the window screen which was cool. we were actually talking about laptops and some ppl were convincing me to get the mac pro, and some were trying to convince me to get a pc... mostly hp? i dontknow... im so swayed now! jeeez! i wanted a mac book pro! but now i dont know anymore! aish.
anyways. then wento downstairs to go visit jose, matt, and eric... i wanted quesadilla but they didnt have cheese. fail. we chatted for a bit. island came later and did something. i asked him to make me a quesadilla. so he went to get cheese from his apt. he brought it down and matt and island made a quesadilla! :) ahhhhh i wanted one for so long.
then jose decided he wanted a donut so he fetched some at king pin i think with eric. and then i had freakin quesadilla and donut at like 12 in the morning. fail. man fail FAILDFA LSDFJA;DLFJASDLFJSADFLJ.
anyways. i thinked i lagged cuz i didnt want to go back home to confront heidi. or maybe i just didnt wana go cuz i didnt want to be around the awkward silence and pulling tension there was in between us. but i finally left dwight after i realized how sleepy i was.

as soon as i arrived. heidi said we needed to talk. i was so relieved to hear that!
so we talked for about 20 min about roommate stuff. all in all IT WAS A GOOD TALK! im actually really really happy. i was getting a little nervous before becuase i was thinking that maybe i wouldnt be able to reconcile with her before she left to socal. Praise the Lord for everything.

i also realized though, that i should really pray for my spiritual growth and pray about the struggles in my life. but mainly its the struggles i am going through with God. i m not sure if that makes any sense at all. i suck at expressing my thoughts.

home in a week. school in 3 weeks. man sadness upon this whole earth.

i really like real experiences. real stories. real people. some of them are amazing.

life is interesting because while life sucks God is still good and awesome as ever.

thank you God for heidi, my roommate :)
im thankful for her love for me
im thankful for her cooking
im thankful for her caring attitude
im thankful for her cheerfulness
im thankful for her genuine care
im thankful for her absent mindedness (sometimes)
im thankful for her presence in my life.

tug and war!

im super sleepy now. officially. missing you.
bye bye :)

time for teletubbies

so i dont know when the last time was since ive written on my blog. i think maybe 2 days ago. i dont remember. but that doesnt really matter anyways. JAJA.
well anyways. nothing much. summer is seriously predictable. fierce.
but one more week of classes yes! yes yes yesye syoers;lafjalsdjf;alsdjfasljf;dalfjlas.

must say. very very chill summmer. no studying to do . and very limited hw. good stuff. but. fall semester will catch up to me again. and i will die once again. but its ok i guess since i do have 1000000000 lives. its ok .
i have a stomach ache.

today i decided not to go to class. YES. i did feel guilty though. foreals. i normally dont. but i did. i mean . i had to force myself not to go to class today because i had an urge to use my 2 free i-get-to-miss-class-2-times-without-affecting-my-grade passes. i had a test yesterday so it was okie.

yesterday i ran the 10k. it was . A OK. i didnt stop. i mean maybe for 10 seconds to get a drink, but thats it. it was rewarding. but tiring. i must say. but i was choking on my own spit. that. was painful. yet wonderful and not cool. now i want to run a marathon. no joke. i really want to really really bad. so i think i will now. go run one. soon.

man im sleeping really late now. which is not cool. this past week ive been sleeping at like odd times. 3, 4, 5 in the morning. i thought i got over that from freshmen year. i guess not. but the good thing is i dont sleep pass like 12. i mean i wake up fairly early for sleeping late.

so socal. im going down with sieun on the 13thh. yay.

today i had lunch with sandyyyy. :) she makes me smile. sometimes. ok no all the times. ok maybe not all the time, but maybe she does. whatever. we had cafe expresso or something like that. i ordered chippokki and she ordered a bulgogi burger and then we split it. it was pretty yummy. yeeyuuuuuuuuuuh . yummy i sayyyyyyyyy. dang we actually talked for like 3 hours. then we went to yogurland.we tried some samples and then we got hella full so JAJA. we didnt buy any yogurt. JAJA. then we went to urbaaan. :P i like their stuph. man i want a northface backpackkk.NOOWW. ill probbaly get it like next week or something. i dont. know. yayayayayayayayayaya.

iiiii aaaaaam fuuuuuullllll jeeez.
im kinda sleepy now.
i dont know whats going to happen tomorrow. foreals.
i want to see my grandma.
man granola is really good stuff.
i wana eat it everyday.
actually. granola with vanilla safewway yogurt and fruits is thebomb. yeah. so goood man. i have no food at home. i dont know if ive said that before. but i seriously have nothing to eat except for ramen and graham crackers which i do not like. JAJA. this is seriously funny. i dont really know how ima survive apt life. well like i said before. i will die.

sometimes i wish life was still. and some wierd stuff would happpen. just plain wierd stuff. i want to do something out of the ordinary. anything is fine.

man i have to make cards for pppl. but im too lazy. i mean why i should just do it. i dont have anything better to do anyways. jeez. im really sleepy now.
sometimes i want to punch my face really really hard. i really do. but i think im too scardy cat. thats kinda stupid to be that way. i should just go for it.

im currently at mr. fruity carol cleopatra's house. im sleeping overyes. but mr. raccoon and jinji jojong are not here. but its still cool. but im so sleepy. i dont know what i shall do tomorrow. what awaits man.

what if blogspot were to shut down. where would all my precious memories go. then i would be old and saggy and gross and be really bored. so that shouldnt happen. jejeje. i really wonder if i will ever come back and read these again.

man late night watermelon and mandoo really blows kinda.
stomach is bloated jeez.
nevertheless, it was delish.
man still feels like may. shoot. nah. still feeels like august 2009.
uoshirt: $5.watasteal.
OK IM OFFICIALLY SO SLEEPY. i dont even know why im here jejeeeeeeeeeeeez.
smell ya later alligator.
and i hate the teletubbies to the core. they freak me out. and the sun is like the most a;dlfjasdlfjas thing.

tinky winky. dipsy. lala. poh. ewww. sun. pigmy. salt.
man delusional. AARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG. aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiishiiiiiiiii.
oh. oh oh oh. toystory crane aliens. lovely.
JEJEJE.

I HATE TELEBEARS. ONE DAY. i will DEMOLISH YOU! i think ill write a hate blog about telebears. jk. that would be pretty lame. to the max.
ok seriously . SERIOUSLYYYYYY. BYE BYE. man i feel lame. everyone is studying except for me. but no. im still awesome. Jk. although you are thinking. yes she is awesome. jk. im just sleepy. ok . goodnight foreals this time. seriously. ok bye.

LIFE IS A MYSTERY

indeed. lets sit. and relax and think about life. NAT. man no. life and chillax. dont go together when thinking about it. actually i may be really delusional right now. because i think i am. ohmy.

all of a sudden i just want to ask why.
what. wh
ere.
why.
wh
en.
how.
WHY.

i also have to say . i really got short term memory. i wish i forgot things on purpose. but sadly i dont. i really dont. YES! i have early signs of amnesia already. not that it matters for now.

id say that. if i died tomorrow. i would be happy. i would say. if i died tomorrow. i would be like ok. take me noww-----------fewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwuuuuuuum. yeah. it would really be ok. its just a thought. im not suicidal by the way. im just saying my thoughts aloud.

its thatt time of the year ... maybe life. which makes me want to question certain things and yeah. i dont know why.

i really want a yorkie. i really want one. they are so freaking cute. jeez.
babies are cute too.
i want food.
nooo. i dont actually. not at the moment.

i was maybe thinking of taking a year off of college. i mean telebears screwed me over today. well not really. but id like to think that. ok jk. no. but in just in general. made me think today. for sometime.

i mean our living room smells ok . and room too. i think im becoming obsessed with good smelling things. scent is very important.
you know what. i think im too tired. and delusional. so im just going to leave it at that.
nothing special happened today.
oh but ester aka yeahboi. is leaving tomorrow. for 3 years. will miss her. hope she has a very blessing time in taiwan. ok period.

nooooooooooowwwwwwwwww itsssssssssssssss time to sleeepeereeprepreorsoerueorueouroe. i probably wont until way later though.

ate too much.
i have a stomach ache.
a;dlfja;dlsfjasldj asdljf ajdsfj;lkj a;djflkjasldjf
ok. call it a night.
with bad stomach.
bye bye.

hello august

where in the world did the "summer" go.
where.
i mean .. yay for ending classes next week, but hello classes AGAIN. in 2 weeks. seriously. what the hek. chajeungs.
life.. WHY are you so ahead of yourself. jeez.

i will write about something. but i forget what.
well for one thing. im home. at my apt. which i havent been since last friday.
i also realized that. we have no food. again.
so today. we went to safeway.
we were supposed to go to cotsco, but oh wells.
at safeway i met sam and brandon. they were kind enough to offer us a ride. how nice of them . thank you very gamsahs. heidi feels bad because she confused brandon to be a random person trying to say hi to her and introduce himself. well. pew pew.

we bought the correct YOGURT! YAY. vanilla this time for you! ahhhhhhhrg hardi har har. cant wait to taste the vanilla yogur ttomorrow in the morning with some granola and fruits. ohmygosh. i could eat that 24/7. nojoke. and i like baby spinach with oil and vinegar. yumssies.

well. i havent been to the movies in a long time. i dont really know if i want to.
how in the world do the fobs at berkeley all know each other i just dont get it. its not like they have a club that advertises: FOBS. join. -or- maybe. they do! yeah they probably do. there must be something like that.

man so i think i know what i want to major in. i think it will be soc and media studies ftw. im not sure though because for soc .. you have to take stats class or a logic class as prerecs. but i suck at stats. i ve never taken a stats class. but i just know that i hate it already and that i will probably not pass and fail and thats the end of it. i havent tried logic though. i have no idea what logic is about. its not like. im logical. so i fail at that too. college is so complicated. it complicates my head. blehsssshhhh.
my telebars is tomorrow. i am currently enrolled in 2 classes.
spanish 2 and psych 2. but i need neither for my majors nor breadths.
so fail.
i think my new schedule will look like this.
poly sci 1.
media studies 10.
soc 5.
who knows which days. but who cares. yeah actually i does. cuz if its an 8 am class i doubt ill wake up. how sad. HOW SAD I TELL YOU.
man i really need to man up. JEEZ. i hate myself.
i want to watch despicable me.
and inception.
but not really.
my camera is still not fixed. :'(

i want winter to come. NOW. i want coldness and rain. and wind. lots of it. lots of it now!
i heard polisci is hard.
soc 5 is boring.
media studies 10 should be fun. i think.

home next week. ohhhhhhh. yes.
i want to go study abroad.
korea.
yeah.
but i don know yet. maybe france.
maybe chile. JAJA. hmm that would be kinda funny.
or maybe australia. that kinda sounds kinda little awesome.
ok time to peace out.
PEACe.

somewhere over the rainbow

nice colors. purple. green. yellow. red. blue. orange. and i forget the last color. over that, there is something. i dont know what. but hopefully one day ill know. fsho.
i just realized 13 days until i go homsies and i sees my fambam.
hmm. im not sure if im excited.

fridays. went to class. pretty chillaxing class cuz of presentations.
after class i went home.
i think i ate something but i forget what.
then me and heidi went to wetseal to see whatup. nothing was up.
then we went to walgreens. heidi got peas or something.
then we stop by yogurtland. and sampled to our content :)
we were gona buy yogurt, but then we got full. JAJAJAAJA.
then we went to bancroft clothing store. but found nothing good.
oh and american apparel. but too expensive. so at teh end i found no good top :(

went home. packed. meet at annahead. go to alameda.
i dont like frisbee. i dont like.
i will never like.
so me, chinpo, and rosie went back into the house.
we had a very insightful talk with becky. it was fun .
then dinner was bomb :) man cotsco meatballs AREEEEEEEEE freaken awesome. foooooooorsuuuuuure. always got my back. those ballers. round things. i found out the sauce is from panda express. i think thats why they be so goood.
it was a soph koinonia mo ihm. so it was pretty fun. wish we did more of those. same leveled ppl.
then i forget and i forget and ew beans. and games and forget. fuzzy.
then i went to sleep over at angela, gina and suzz's house. and am currently still here atm.

saturday.
i woke up early. ate lunch at panera, then chilled at borders. then went back home. got ready for wedding.
wedding.
was pretty waoah.
hmm . twas my first weedding.
oh by the wWAWDLFADEYASF;JDASL. my freakin camera broke ASDIFJAS;LKDFSDJFA;JF;jfdlsakfjaldsjf;alsjf. aish . fasdlkjf;dasljfads;j. yesterday. i wana asdl;fjadsljkf someone. i wanted to take pics today cuz it was my first wedding but fail. FAIL FALSI;DFJASLFAIL. the camera screwed me over jeez.
but the wedding itself was beautiful. obviously not a typical wedding because its just like that. but it was just hmmm amazing actually. jaqui and josh tying the knot. i actually just really suck at expressing my emotions. so no point in trying to explain. i was just taken aback. thats all. and justbecause i went to a wedding does not make me want to get married in any way. i just admire ppl like that because they are not like me.

after the pretty wedding with a bow. reception at a chinese restaurant in oakland. i mean mc was really entertaining. he looks like mr. potato head. thats all. the slides and the dancing was very good. everything was very good good good good. but i couldnt eat the food. cuz it was all seafood :( and not edible. i mean for me. i guess everyone else loved it to the max. seafood is just not my thing. but at least sponge cake at the end was good. decent. ok. yeah. it was ok.

yeah that was the day. i would make it longer and say more nonsense. but i am in a rush as three ajumahs are rushing me like ajumahs :)
they are wensoos :P jkkkkkkkk. THEY ARE the bombshizzles.
mr. fobnims poopy pants something something.
cuz. heart heart. ewwww pewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwing.
ok bye bye.
goodnighties.

oh and i will never be over the rainbow because i just realized that over the rainbow means beginning a new volcume in my life becoming one with another someone. and that will never happen. i guess it will always be a lingering feeling.
that somewhere over the rainbow. :)