battle of relationships

so i think ive just realized that for the past 4 or 5 consecutive weekends i havent spent at my apt. i think it all started when 1. i went home on the 4th of july weeknd 2. dis retreat 3. wendy's house 4. ashton's house 5. suzie's house 6. jiyoung'shouse and janet's house. actually its been the last 6 weekends!!! JAJAJA. wow. seriously. (at all these houses, i spent 2 nights, except for week 6 in which i spent the first night at jiyoung's and the sat at janet's house) so i guess my roommate must obviously be sad and lonely sometimes/or most of the times. but i guess i didnt really realize that.

heidi was mad at me this weekend. basically the whole weekend.
reasons. i spent fri night at jiyoung's and yesterday night at janet's place in alameda. well the thing is. i did this in order to spend time with them older peeps because i know that during the fall semester i would not have enough time to go sleep over at their places, so i took advantage of the summer time as i do not have to study for nothing and have a chillaxing time with them older women. but i guess i didnt realize how much it bothered heidi.
she felt sad at the fact that i never really texted her when i was coming and so on. but the thing is, i woulda never really known if she had never told me which she did a couple of minutes ago.

i was actually pretty bothered because she wouldnt talk to me and so she seemed mad at me for some reason, but i didn tknow why. im really glad we talked it out. to make this relationship better we have to talk i guess, which i hate doing because i am a passive -___________- its actually really hard .

today i ate lunch with ellen's hg since i was with janet anyways. taylor is a cutie. hm after lunch service at willard... service was something. but honestly i was falling asleep and so were alot of ppl around me. it must be the dim lights and the comfy seats or something. after service i weeents in mr fruity carols car and we went to eat gom tangg :) with mr. raccoon, mongolian beef, mrfruitycarols cleopatra and mike chen's friend elaine. man their service is blehh sometmes. really. they didnt have mul naengmyun. fail. so we had to get bibim naengmyun which wasnt bad, but still. jeez. instead of giving me gogi, they gave me freakin seafood -______- aish. jinjaas. i hate seafood too. so it was kinda messy. whatever. i dont think i will ever go back. at least for this year or something. after eating that, came home and stared at some screen. :P bleeehhh~~~

at like 6 i went to rsf. i did elliptical. then i did cardio kickboxing with sanddaayyy :) i t was fun. then i ellipticalled some more until 9 ish. and then i met blake on the way home. went to visit his apt. ( i wanted quesadilla actually) so went to dwight chatted with dan. then did some more random wierd chatting with andy, wynn, steven, and i forget who else. they were talking to me through the window screen which was cool. we were actually talking about laptops and some ppl were convincing me to get the mac pro, and some were trying to convince me to get a pc... mostly hp? i dontknow... im so swayed now! jeeez! i wanted a mac book pro! but now i dont know anymore! aish.
anyways. then wento downstairs to go visit jose, matt, and eric... i wanted quesadilla but they didnt have cheese. fail. we chatted for a bit. island came later and did something. i asked him to make me a quesadilla. so he went to get cheese from his apt. he brought it down and matt and island made a quesadilla! :) ahhhhh i wanted one for so long.
then jose decided he wanted a donut so he fetched some at king pin i think with eric. and then i had freakin quesadilla and donut at like 12 in the morning. fail. man fail FAILDFA LSDFJA;DLFJASDLFJSADFLJ.
anyways. i thinked i lagged cuz i didnt want to go back home to confront heidi. or maybe i just didnt wana go cuz i didnt want to be around the awkward silence and pulling tension there was in between us. but i finally left dwight after i realized how sleepy i was.

as soon as i arrived. heidi said we needed to talk. i was so relieved to hear that!
so we talked for about 20 min about roommate stuff. all in all IT WAS A GOOD TALK! im actually really really happy. i was getting a little nervous before becuase i was thinking that maybe i wouldnt be able to reconcile with her before she left to socal. Praise the Lord for everything.

i also realized though, that i should really pray for my spiritual growth and pray about the struggles in my life. but mainly its the struggles i am going through with God. i m not sure if that makes any sense at all. i suck at expressing my thoughts.

home in a week. school in 3 weeks. man sadness upon this whole earth.

i really like real experiences. real stories. real people. some of them are amazing.

life is interesting because while life sucks God is still good and awesome as ever.

thank you God for heidi, my roommate :)
im thankful for her love for me
im thankful for her cooking
im thankful for her caring attitude
im thankful for her cheerfulness
im thankful for her genuine care
im thankful for her absent mindedness (sometimes)
im thankful for her presence in my life.

tug and war!

im super sleepy now. officially. missing you.
bye bye :)