I have this nasty thing on my upper lip. its so gross. it got big. i dont know if i mentioned it before, but it is truly gross. its like big and.. i think its a blood clott or something cuz i know its dried blood there, but i dont know. it doesnt hurt anymore, but it just annoys the hek outa me cuz its like right there on my lip and i cant lick my upper lip, which means that my upper lip stays really really dry. actually lower lip is really really dry too. oh and me been sick for 17 days now -____________- this is the longest i have ever gone. wants me to go sick and what. surprise? ok i guess ill just wait for it. anytime soon is fine. the sooner the better.
I finished with my first dt book today. JAJA. im actually quite proud cuz ive never finished a notebook before, cuz normally i stop half way and use something else cuz i get bored of my old one thus moving on to another better, cuter looking notebook or something, but this time i stuck with itt shoot. i wanted to finish the notebook so badly, but i did it yeee boi. ok its an amazing feat for me. now i have the snoopy one waiting for me in my aptttt. JAJA cant wait to write on ittttttt. but actually the molka skin was is just black i guess cool thing is it has snooopyyyyy weeeeeeeeee. its cute. i like it cuz its not normal and i bet you no one else has it, or at least here at berks. jijijijijojojojjjiujujejejejeejej. YEEEEEEEE snooooopyyyyy has been my bud ever since the the 5th grade. much love much love from the real world. but its a sercet.
JAJA IM LIKE PICK AT MY LIP MORE LIKE SCAB/BLISTER/COLD SORE ewwwwwww its bleeding JAJAJAJAJA I HATE IT. i want it gone now its so freakin annoying ahhhhhh its pouring blood basically pouring. yeah some ew it is.
it looks like a big very very big booboo.
i dont know what to do for the summer. i thought i had it all down, but clearly i dont when i might not even be able to take summer school . for some wierd reason my dad doesnt want to pay for it. i mean i guess i could understand because hes beeen paying for my full tuition since freshmen year. i feel bad. i could work to pay for it. , but i do not have a job at the moment. hmmmm. so i might not even be able to do that, but the wierd thing is, i think he would be willing to pay for my ticket to korea this summer. i think that is kinda funny. ish. maybe he wouldnt i dont know. i didnt leave home on a good note with him, so i dont know how me and dad relationship goes right now. so i might also go to korea this summer, but all this talk is up in the air. my mom really wants to go to korea. i feel so bad for my mommy. really. she suffers so much by herself. takes on so many burdens. she has no relatives in the states. and often times, my dad dont treat her too well. i think they be going through rough times right now.
on another note, my brother sent me a text that seriously made me cry. i was so super touched that yeah i cried. it was obviously about my parents. and the courage he got from something i did in the past.
im really really sleepy. really really sleepy. sometimes. i wonder. i honestly wonder (aside from bible and various recollections from other sources how peeps could worship a God they cannot see touch hear smell and see. faith is amajing. im sleepy. my contacts are dry. and my stomach hurts again. JAJAAJAJAJAAJA. ok. it feels wierd when my mom texts me. especially when she types in english and her grammer be all broken. i guess its ok. i dont mind. not that im any better on this blog JAJAJAAJAJAJAJAAJAJA. ok i know . i just dont careJAJAJAAJ OK.
a simple apology could amend a relationship just whoosh. its so easy yet why cant people
including myself gather up courage to do the right thing. why is it so darn hard. sometimes i dont think pride makes sense. i dont even feel like i have any left. or had any to begin with.
dang someone left fsm doors open and its so freakin cold. im so freakin cold. like wind blowing right here where me at ok hopefully some nice person will close the door. JAJAJA. or maybe not. i guess im cool with either.
my teacher didnt get my scandi essay :( i thought i totally drop boxed it, but i guess me so freaken dumbs that i didnt double check JJAAJAJa. i normally always douhble check something must be so wrong with me. oh yeah. it must be all that cheese. you know, when you have lotsa somethings that you love you go nuts. man i love nuts, i actually like almonds alot.. just not like plain man i love peanuts. my favorite is the honey roasted peanut. its soooooooo good. soo good. but i get full really fast, so its not very good to eat too much of it, but i always eat until im full that i cant ever have a proper meal so i actually try to avoid those when as much as i can.
i learned the secrets behind the snaps game and the bang game! weeeeeeeeee. im genius. ok im clearly not because it took me a couple of millions of years to find out. im so dumb at figuring out games :( WHYYYYYYYYYY. adlfja;lsdjfa;sldfjals a;sldjfsl;adjfaslfj. i really really try to think. but sometimes i wonder if i have reached full capacity. i dont think i have. because yeah i just know that i havent.
i really like christian music. its soothing, good stuff.
whooooole spring break i didnt do anything but play. i didnt study a bit. i dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing. i think ill just have to make it up by reading alot later. :( actually i dont even read.
actually i dont think im doing very well in school this semester because i got FREAKIN lazy this smester, i dont read, and i do things very last minute. at least last semester, i read. i dont even do that anymore. im sleepy.
you know that writing a blog takes quite some time. its not like 1O min, its like 1 hour. i would say normally it takes an hour cuz i normally pause and do other stuff me thinks. im not sure, i thinks thats why i stoppped blogging for a while, cuz i got really really lazy and i dont want to right a whatevs short entry cuz i actually dont know. man i just wana go home and sleep right now.
i failed my korean test today because i didnt study for itJAJAJAA. I THINK I might fail korean. i have basically never studied for any of the tests, the most i have done is skim through it. and that is pretty bad considering that everything on the test is from the lessons in the book. JAJAAJA. ok i fail. i think i need to move on to spanish. oh yeah. then i dont have to stress or anything. but i dont even think i will be able to fit that in my busy schedule. i dont know if im making the right decision by going with social welfare and media studies. sigh. i dont want to regret it when im old.
i might actually be pre law. i know i shouldnt for my parents, but i might do it for my dad because i feel bad. FA;LSDJASL;JF A;SDLJFSDL;FJADS;. what is this pressure i feel :(
i realized that no one in my family is ambitious JAJAJA i think to some extent this is not very good because no one in my family really has any goals. JAJAA. hmmm not too good. my dad is not a very ambitious person, nor am i and def not my bro. it may be cuz we be too spoiled. and i guess me not being too smart also plays a part in my decision to be whatvs.
ok i think i rambled enough. i wrote as thoughts came into my head. that is all and im really sleepy.
sometimes i want to be a guy. seems appealing. im sleepy. and my stomach hurts. but mostly, i want to sleep. but then i have to go home and take my contacts off and brush my teeth and take my make up off and put the pjs on. that wakes me up. then it take sme some time to get into sleep mode again. ugghhh.
summer and her brother are funny. brother=winter. this will be a reminder of the funny times of summer and co.
fun fun in the sun sun. it rhymes. i like things that rhyme.
ok farewell fellow fungi.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
something about myself
pleaseee broooo no berks. no berks.
i shouldnt have come home. its luxury compared to berks. shoooot. its hard.
i was gona leave today, but pushed it back to tomorrow cuz i wanted to eat jjajangmyun with my family since that couldnt be done yesterday. and i felt like i needed to eat with them before i left. well results? ME FULLLLLLLL. to the max
we had cho man won. and i had a 탕자장 which is half 탕수육 and half 자장면. so bombbbbbb bomb bomb bomb.
break has treated me very well shoot.
i have been out most of the times, but i was also at home.
saturday i chilled with ron and chunky for a little, came home and just chilled, watched tv and stuff. AHHH FELT SO GOOD. jijijijji.
sunday, went to church, but couldnt go to service :( ahhhh sigh.
it started raining that day. after church went home and just chilled for about 3 hours. man life is so free when there is no golf to play. i am certainly thankful for thaat time that i have now, cuz now i dont have to schedule around golf. and i can nap peacefully. yee yee. at night went to pick up joko and johnny. met some mama yeo and papa yeo. nice ppl. johnny looks like his dad. and pauuuuul jajaja. so much cooler than johnny. jaja . jk. ok maybe not. we had some interesting chinese food. spicy and stuff. it was interesting i must say. then basketball. me sits there. then wierd shaved ice at some wierd place. ok .
monday. missed the metrolink or something. so had to take the amtrak to LA. met up with cool kids joko lloyd walked about 2 miles JAJA on wilshire blvd. met johnnys parents on wilshire. crazy. ate all you can eat koreanbbq. jannys parents paid for all of us. dang i was thankful. after lunch and alot of ffreakin meat. it was bingsoo time. fanncy shmancy place.
then we goes home
hung out at home. chillaxed. and it was all good.
yesterday. was pretty awesome. snowboarding at mt. high yee boi. it was hella fun. i took carving to the next leveeel weeeeeeeee. basically it was a long day. and had all you can eat krn bbbq again. ohmygosh i gained like 2 more lbs. :( cuz ive been eating so much meat. shoot. bingsoo again. it was a good glorious day. yet again.
came home had an argument with my dad.
bummed around all day todayyy. it felt ridonkly nice. i tried to take a nap. but fail. somehow the day went by really really fast even though i didnt do jack. the only time i actually went out was for din din with fambam. it was too short though. woulda liked to spend more time with them. :(
it sucks not having a car. alot. cuz dad sold his car so hes using mine. i appreciate cars alot. cars are so convenient. i loove cars. i think the cars are the greatest invention in history, ofcourse, that is after the bathroom. my dad is planning on getting his new car this sept. dang i cant wait that long, so im thinkng of buying a car at the beg of the summer. :/ i need to find a jooooooob. cuz i want to pay for this car. dang thats gona be hard, but whatever needs to be done needs to be done.
ive been eating waaaaaay too much. waaaaaaaaay too much. but ima enjoy while it lasts i guess.
i really dont want to go to berkeley. i feel suffocated in that place. i remember i used to think how NICE berkeley was. man me delusional. home in some sense makes me feel free, but at the same time i gues sit doesnt, actually i feel like that at berks too, so technically i am never really "free" but as i come home, there is a different kind of freedom. whatever maybe me talking outa mah butt. foreals cuz im full or something.
i really really really dont want to start school because i just dont like school. i wish it were summer break already. but actually i dont even want to come home because of my dad. but ugggggggh. i dont know. sigh.
tomorrow car ride :( leaving at six in the morn to go up to berks. wake up early again. i dont want to go to berks. i dont know how many times i have repeat that kinda feel like ive established that already.
ive not felt very happy these days. im kinda glooms and anxious. maybe all the negative feelings if i must say. many things must be bringing me down. but sometimes im ok... i think i may be bipolar or something. maybe not.
i wish the world could stop spinning for a week. so i could just sleep for a week. JAJA. ok jk. but that would be awesome.
"some things never change" i dont believe in. it changes somehow. all time.
lets reevaluate life and the little things.
people change. time flies. where am i. who are you. why. grenade.
i shouldnt have come home. its luxury compared to berks. shoooot. its hard.
i was gona leave today, but pushed it back to tomorrow cuz i wanted to eat jjajangmyun with my family since that couldnt be done yesterday. and i felt like i needed to eat with them before i left. well results? ME FULLLLLLLL. to the max
we had cho man won. and i had a 탕자장 which is half 탕수육 and half 자장면. so bombbbbbb bomb bomb bomb.
break has treated me very well shoot.
i have been out most of the times, but i was also at home.
saturday i chilled with ron and chunky for a little, came home and just chilled, watched tv and stuff. AHHH FELT SO GOOD. jijijijji.
sunday, went to church, but couldnt go to service :( ahhhh sigh.
it started raining that day. after church went home and just chilled for about 3 hours. man life is so free when there is no golf to play. i am certainly thankful for thaat time that i have now, cuz now i dont have to schedule around golf. and i can nap peacefully. yee yee. at night went to pick up joko and johnny. met some mama yeo and papa yeo. nice ppl. johnny looks like his dad. and pauuuuul jajaja. so much cooler than johnny. jaja . jk. ok maybe not. we had some interesting chinese food. spicy and stuff. it was interesting i must say. then basketball. me sits there. then wierd shaved ice at some wierd place. ok .
monday. missed the metrolink or something. so had to take the amtrak to LA. met up with cool kids joko lloyd walked about 2 miles JAJA on wilshire blvd. met johnnys parents on wilshire. crazy. ate all you can eat koreanbbq. jannys parents paid for all of us. dang i was thankful. after lunch and alot of ffreakin meat. it was bingsoo time. fanncy shmancy place.
then we goes home
hung out at home. chillaxed. and it was all good.
yesterday. was pretty awesome. snowboarding at mt. high yee boi. it was hella fun. i took carving to the next leveeel weeeeeeeee. basically it was a long day. and had all you can eat krn bbbq again. ohmygosh i gained like 2 more lbs. :( cuz ive been eating so much meat. shoot. bingsoo again. it was a good glorious day. yet again.
came home had an argument with my dad.
bummed around all day todayyy. it felt ridonkly nice. i tried to take a nap. but fail. somehow the day went by really really fast even though i didnt do jack. the only time i actually went out was for din din with fambam. it was too short though. woulda liked to spend more time with them. :(
it sucks not having a car. alot. cuz dad sold his car so hes using mine. i appreciate cars alot. cars are so convenient. i loove cars. i think the cars are the greatest invention in history, ofcourse, that is after the bathroom. my dad is planning on getting his new car this sept. dang i cant wait that long, so im thinkng of buying a car at the beg of the summer. :/ i need to find a jooooooob. cuz i want to pay for this car. dang thats gona be hard, but whatever needs to be done needs to be done.
ive been eating waaaaaay too much. waaaaaaaaay too much. but ima enjoy while it lasts i guess.
i really dont want to go to berkeley. i feel suffocated in that place. i remember i used to think how NICE berkeley was. man me delusional. home in some sense makes me feel free, but at the same time i gues sit doesnt, actually i feel like that at berks too, so technically i am never really "free" but as i come home, there is a different kind of freedom. whatever maybe me talking outa mah butt. foreals cuz im full or something.
i really really really dont want to start school because i just dont like school. i wish it were summer break already. but actually i dont even want to come home because of my dad. but ugggggggh. i dont know. sigh.
tomorrow car ride :( leaving at six in the morn to go up to berks. wake up early again. i dont want to go to berks. i dont know how many times i have repeat that kinda feel like ive established that already.
ive not felt very happy these days. im kinda glooms and anxious. maybe all the negative feelings if i must say. many things must be bringing me down. but sometimes im ok... i think i may be bipolar or something. maybe not.
i wish the world could stop spinning for a week. so i could just sleep for a week. JAJA. ok jk. but that would be awesome.
"some things never change" i dont believe in. it changes somehow. all time.
lets reevaluate life and the little things.
people change. time flies. where am i. who are you. why. grenade.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
home
socal. home. always feels good. always. except when my mom and dad get into argument and make it all wierd. which did kinda happen today. whatever.
yesterday took a viet bus down to socal. first time i do that. the bus wasnt that bad, actually it was nice and seasts were nice. no shady looking people. actually there were so many old viet peeps, it smelled like old viet ppl. no joke. it really really did. there were also some college students, so we werent the only ones going down.
we almost missed the bus yesterday.
woke up fine and everything. actually i only slept for half an hour packed, got ready and everything. i was ready called jenny at 6 but she wouldnt answer :( called her 7 more times and she didnt answer :( it was already 6 25, i knew she fell asleep on me. but i needed to go home today, so as a last resort i called chris chan . yay for chris. i didnt think he would be awake, but he was. asked him to give me a ride to the bus station. came to pick me up, then johnny and kenneth came along. what a nice kid he is. made the bus JUST in time. if we were like 5 min late, it woulda been gggg. ok but good thing me smart. shooooooooot. ok jk.
socal is hot. i dont like it . i really dont. i wana be experiencing cold rainy socal weather :( i heard it hailed and rained yesterday. almost snow? LUCKY. but i guess i shall enjoy some of this weather, which is not too shabby.
HOME FEELS SOOOOOOOO GOOD.
yesterday for dinner me and fam bam went to surah to eat kkrn bbqqq with appas friend and wife from argentina. dang gogi was so hella good. then we goes to hanamchain to get chips and melona bar babyyyy. dang im in heavcen :D
even though home is good. i be sad. im just struggling with relationships, evaluating church, rethinking about my major and what ill do afterwards. :( who can i talk to. really.
ok time to go .
and enjoy more home.
yesterday took a viet bus down to socal. first time i do that. the bus wasnt that bad, actually it was nice and seasts were nice. no shady looking people. actually there were so many old viet peeps, it smelled like old viet ppl. no joke. it really really did. there were also some college students, so we werent the only ones going down.
we almost missed the bus yesterday.
woke up fine and everything. actually i only slept for half an hour packed, got ready and everything. i was ready called jenny at 6 but she wouldnt answer :( called her 7 more times and she didnt answer :( it was already 6 25, i knew she fell asleep on me. but i needed to go home today, so as a last resort i called chris chan . yay for chris. i didnt think he would be awake, but he was. asked him to give me a ride to the bus station. came to pick me up, then johnny and kenneth came along. what a nice kid he is. made the bus JUST in time. if we were like 5 min late, it woulda been gggg. ok but good thing me smart. shooooooooot. ok jk.
socal is hot. i dont like it . i really dont. i wana be experiencing cold rainy socal weather :( i heard it hailed and rained yesterday. almost snow? LUCKY. but i guess i shall enjoy some of this weather, which is not too shabby.
HOME FEELS SOOOOOOOO GOOD.
yesterday for dinner me and fam bam went to surah to eat kkrn bbqqq with appas friend and wife from argentina. dang gogi was so hella good. then we goes to hanamchain to get chips and melona bar babyyyy. dang im in heavcen :D
even though home is good. i be sad. im just struggling with relationships, evaluating church, rethinking about my major and what ill do afterwards. :( who can i talk to. really.
ok time to go .
and enjoy more home.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Hi, my name is becky song
dang boi.
its been a while. foreals. its not that me not interested anymore, but i think i just prioritize better. JAJA jk. no i dont. that makes no sense at all whatsoever.
i feel like i want to write today, cuz there are too many things that have happened to me in the past 2 months? i need to document it in order to preserve these glorious memories! but i have a really bad stomach ache right now. i think im seriously gona have like some stomach disease soon. :(
hmmmm im really going to try to remember the highlights of the last two months.
-I FINALLY applied for social welfare major. i think that was in feb ? shoot. that sucks . i forgot. ok whatevs.
-I got majorly lucky with classes this semester. og sched: stat 2 anthro r5b korean 1bx history 7b. long story short i managed to get in soc 5 instead of stat 2 and scandi instead of anthro. God is good.
-I made my Lordship decision. i forget the date :( but i know its the same day as su's birthday. JAJA.
-lots of my cool friends made salvation decisions. and for that im super happy. PTL. foreals.
-I learned how to CARVE snowboarding on march 12 2O1O. tis was fun with soph at kirkwood :D
-have gone through many ups and downs because of relationships.
-got a new phone. im not sure if i mentioned that before. i dont like it. i really dont like touch. battery life sucks. but i guess its a phone.
-i cried watching jim elliot and friends documentary.
-i got my first B on a paper since freshmen year. sad.
-why do i sleep so late?
-my mom went through some tough stuff last month.
-i need to mature. foreals.
-im scared
-im not really good at anything. even if i try. :(
-my heart is ugly
-im really sore. like seriously . alot. no joke. my biceps triceps forearms thighs calves whatever. you name it. i cant even put on a shirt. shooooot.
-my stomach really hurts
-ive realized how important relationships are for me. and i truly cherish them.
-sieun had her baby. yayuh. and so did becky jaja.
-i have a manly voice right now
-i ger jacked ALOT- which i dont mind much. but i do get jacked ALOT
-some relationships are really hard to foster. its crazy, but i really try.
-im moved 2 weeks ago. from one bedroom to a studio. 3rd floor. not worth it. JAJA.
-i am living with Globro ronke nd jenle. :D happy, excited, scared, at the same time. we ll see how much we can grow togethus.
-i havent gone grocey shopping since last october JAJA. i havent had a meal at my new studio.
-i have started to wear clothes other than sweatpants. JAJA. hmm thats a first, since soph year in high school. i got tired of them . i cant believe this day finally came.
-i struggled alot ALOT. at the beginning of this semester. whether i should my decision or not, but i have good friends so it all be good.
-life is hard boi.
-i dont listen to my ipod anymore :( this makes me really really sad. because i used to listen to my ipod EVERRYWHERE for the last year and a half.
-i have a stuffy nose. eww. boogers.
-reaching oout is hard
-be more patient
-i took for granted alot
-i have my nails painted all the time, except for these 2 weeks, which i didnt. longest time having nails a la nude.
-my taste in music hasnt really changed
-berkeley weather is still so hella bipolar. why the hek am i using hella. i told myself i wouldnt. cuz its so norcal. jeez.
-i really love my family, i should call them more often.
-ive decided to GO HOME for spring break. for short time that is and not stay up the whole time cuz i need to see my family. they are.. important.
-woohoooo. snowboarding trip on schedule for next week.
-sadly didnt get any work done today, except for going to office hours
-having manly voice is pretty cool. i really like it. even though for short time.
-korean is hard :( i dont study. but still JAJA. its hard.
and i dont remember anything else. there is probs more but whatevs.
there. life.
its been a while. foreals. its not that me not interested anymore, but i think i just prioritize better. JAJA jk. no i dont. that makes no sense at all whatsoever.
i feel like i want to write today, cuz there are too many things that have happened to me in the past 2 months? i need to document it in order to preserve these glorious memories! but i have a really bad stomach ache right now. i think im seriously gona have like some stomach disease soon. :(
hmmmm im really going to try to remember the highlights of the last two months.
-I FINALLY applied for social welfare major. i think that was in feb ? shoot. that sucks . i forgot. ok whatevs.
-I got majorly lucky with classes this semester. og sched: stat 2 anthro r5b korean 1bx history 7b. long story short i managed to get in soc 5 instead of stat 2 and scandi instead of anthro. God is good.
-I made my Lordship decision. i forget the date :( but i know its the same day as su's birthday. JAJA.
-lots of my cool friends made salvation decisions. and for that im super happy. PTL. foreals.
-I learned how to CARVE snowboarding on march 12 2O1O. tis was fun with soph at kirkwood :D
-have gone through many ups and downs because of relationships.
-got a new phone. im not sure if i mentioned that before. i dont like it. i really dont like touch. battery life sucks. but i guess its a phone.
-i cried watching jim elliot and friends documentary.
-i got my first B on a paper since freshmen year. sad.
-why do i sleep so late?
-my mom went through some tough stuff last month.
-i need to mature. foreals.
-im scared
-im not really good at anything. even if i try. :(
-my heart is ugly
-im really sore. like seriously . alot. no joke. my biceps triceps forearms thighs calves whatever. you name it. i cant even put on a shirt. shooooot.
-my stomach really hurts
-ive realized how important relationships are for me. and i truly cherish them.
-sieun had her baby. yayuh. and so did becky jaja.
-i have a manly voice right now
-i ger jacked ALOT- which i dont mind much. but i do get jacked ALOT
-some relationships are really hard to foster. its crazy, but i really try.
-im moved 2 weeks ago. from one bedroom to a studio. 3rd floor. not worth it. JAJA.
-i am living with Globro ronke nd jenle. :D happy, excited, scared, at the same time. we ll see how much we can grow togethus.
-i havent gone grocey shopping since last october JAJA. i havent had a meal at my new studio.
-i have started to wear clothes other than sweatpants. JAJA. hmm thats a first, since soph year in high school. i got tired of them . i cant believe this day finally came.
-i struggled alot ALOT. at the beginning of this semester. whether i should my decision or not, but i have good friends so it all be good.
-life is hard boi.
-i dont listen to my ipod anymore :( this makes me really really sad. because i used to listen to my ipod EVERRYWHERE for the last year and a half.
-i have a stuffy nose. eww. boogers.
-reaching oout is hard
-be more patient
-i took for granted alot
-i have my nails painted all the time, except for these 2 weeks, which i didnt. longest time having nails a la nude.
-my taste in music hasnt really changed
-berkeley weather is still so hella bipolar. why the hek am i using hella. i told myself i wouldnt. cuz its so norcal. jeez.
-i really love my family, i should call them more often.
-ive decided to GO HOME for spring break. for short time that is and not stay up the whole time cuz i need to see my family. they are.. important.
-woohoooo. snowboarding trip on schedule for next week.
-sadly didnt get any work done today, except for going to office hours
-having manly voice is pretty cool. i really like it. even though for short time.
-korean is hard :( i dont study. but still JAJA. its hard.
and i dont remember anything else. there is probs more but whatevs.
there. life.
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