washington dc

today i went to washington dc. i had to wake up at 4 30 in the morning because it was a 4 hour ride to dc. i slept through the whole trip there. we stopped at a mcdonalds in maryland. the feel maryland gave you was indeed different from the one new york or california gave you. i slept some more and we finally arrived to dc. when i got out of the car i thought i was going to freeze to death. shoot. if i had stood there for 1 hour, i would have frost bite and died. foreals.

upon our arrival to dc, i was amazed to see that dc was nothing like i imagined. i watched countless of movies portraying a fabulous side of dc that i really thought as majestic, since you know... the president is there and everything, but nahhh. it was nothing like that. i suppose you could say it was aite and decent place to go to. there is not many places to see.

we took pictures with lincoln and jefferson. i also took pics at the white house. the white house is huge. ginormous. mansionistic. to end our trip, we ended it at capitol hill. when i arrived at jefferson's memorial, i seriously thought that they filmed forrest gump there, and i was like, dude this looks nothing like the part in the movie. but i soon realized that i was wrong. the part was filmed in front of lincoln's memorial. dang there was some beautiful view to the washington monument. for some silly reason, i imagined that scene in forest gump, where the protestors were doing a rally, and had war veterans talk about the war infront of thousands of people. and then there was that part where forest gump comes up and speaks, but no one can hear him because someone unplugged the mic. at the end of his speech, jinny or jenny comes running across the water to see forest. and so they got reunited. for a short time.

after the end of the tour, we went to eat at a korean restaurant in virginia, because my dad and my mom had to meet with their good friend, who they had previously met in chile. we had a short meeting and left back to new york. again. i slept the whole ride up.

i ate at my uncle's restaurant. it was pretty good. i had quesadillas and mini hamburgers.

then went to my aunt's house in new jersey. and babysat for the rest of the night because all the aunts and uncles and parents went to drink.

dang my grandma got hella old. she can't walk anymore. and she is not as energetic as before because before, she used to scold me left and right. for some reason i think its good, but on the other hand, i also feel bad.

had a pretty good day overall.

coming to an end

tomorrow im going to washington dc. just for a day. we are going to drive there. road trip. man. i dont want to go. i hate car rides. a 4 hour one. the only reason im going is because ive never been there. at least ill get to see the white house.

today i didnt do anything. stayed at my gomo's house. actually woke up at 4 20, so didnt have much to do either. i heard that today was really cold. wasted a day.

cachantun

regrese de la cabaña en en la mañana y me tuve ke levantar temprano para ir a dejar a mis primos y a mi hermano a la iglesia pk hoy ellos van al surioneh de su iglesia. despues de dejado en la iglesia, mis papa, mama, tia, tio, otra tia, hermana y prima fuimos a comer a un restaurante koreano. al terminar, fuimos a buscar a mi abuela. llegamos de nuevo a la la casa de mi 큰 고모. mi papa, mama, y todas mis 고모s llevaron a mi abuela al 찜질 방. yo me kede en casa cuidando a mi hermana y a mis primos. me kede en la casa desde las 5 de la tarde hasta las 12 de la noche cuidandolos. enverdad nisikera supe lo ke estaban haciendo todo el tiempo pk yo estaba en la compu haciendo lo mio. ya me kiero ir a mi casa.

hoy, por la primera vez siento ke hice algo ke se merece premio de mejor hermana. en verda no es para tanto, pero igual siento ke por primer vez, hice algo ke me hace sentir como buen hermana. normalmente, siempre me altero mucho cuando me enojo. hoy dia, mi hermana fue rechazada por mi prima. la ke admira mi hermana. si debo decir ke mi hermana molesta arto y es demasiada latosa, pero igual es mi hermana. hoy dia mi prima la llamo "annoying". y no la dejo jugar con su wii, y tp la dejo participar en los juegos ke estaban jugando ella, jason y victoria. al oir esto me enoje, pero no lo mostre y me solprende. normalmente, hubiera llamado a mi prima y le hubiera dado un charla. eske siempre pienso ke tengo el maximo poder cuando soy la mayor y solo pk grito y castigo, pienso ke se va a solucionar todo. pero se muy bien ke eso nunk va a funcionar. asike hoydia tome ruta diferente. en vez de gritar, y agitarme, decidi calmarme y decirle a mi hermana ke se calmara y ke todo estria bien. a mi prima la llame para ke entendiera pk mi hermana es asi, y para ke pudiera controlar su enojo. todo lo dije en buena voluntad, con tranquilidad, y con una sonrisa. nunk en mi vida le he hablado a alguien asi. yo misma me sorprendi a lo ke hice. pk enverdad creo ke dentro de mi habia un resentimiento contra ella por haber tratado a mi hermana asi. y me sorprende mucho ke no le grite. pero creo ke eso es por lo mejor. al final, mi hermana hablo con ella y todo volvio a lo normal.

debo decir ke siempre actuo como odio a mis hermanos, y parece ke nunk hago nada para ellos, pero en verdad, al final del dia, son mis hermanos, estamos unidos por sangre. y dicen ke la sangre es mas gruesa ke el agua. asike en verdad yo haria cualkier cosa por mis hermanos y ojala ke ellos tb lo supieran.

comi mucho hoy. me duele la guata. la cago.

mountain creek

today, i went to my cousin's church. i went to the adult service with all the adults. i haven't been in one in a long time because i usually fall asleep, but surprisingly today, i didn't. i wasn't listening to the sermon though. maybe thats why. after service, we went straight to the mountains. we came to a place called mountain creek or maybe thats the ski place. im not sure. the resort we are staying at is quite nice. they have tennis courts and basketball courts inside the place. after waiting around for some time, me, my brother and 2 cousins went to mountain creek to ski. initially, i was going to snowboard, but i ended up skiing because there was no one to snowboard with since my brother and my cousins were going to ski too. im also a beginner, which means that i would be at the bunny slope all the time, by myself. that would be no fun.
skiing was fun. last time i did was in chile over the summer.

when i come back home, i will try to snowboard.
i broke a nail. its bothering me.

i want a EOS rebel XSi. its pretty expensive though. im thinking of taking a photography decal next semester. we'll see. (why do people say "we'll see" when its only me that will see. its not even see, its will do. dang im confused.)

on friday, while on the plane ride to new york, i spilled water on my netbook. so sad. the keyboards where water spilled are not functioning too well, its hard to press on it, so basically its not smooth when i try to press on it. especially the delete and shift button dont work very well and those buttons i usually use the most.



peace out.

patobomba.

dormi hoy a las 5 de la mañana y me tuve ke despertar a las 12. me duche y salimos a buscar a mi abuela. despues de recogerla fuimos a la casa de mi 큰 고모. tome una siesta for unas 3 buenas horas antes de ke me despertaran para ir a comer a la casa de mi 작은 고모. ahi se juntaron todos denuevo menos 둘째 고모 y 고모부 y mi prima chica. comimos cena y despues fui a ver tele. el internet esta conectado a la tele asike vimos drama koreana llamada "iris". escuche ke era muy buenas asike lo vi pero no me gusto mucho, mas encima escuche ke el final del drama estuvo horrible. en la casa de mi 작은 고모, hay un 노래방 기계 asike cante. duhh. solo cante 4 canciones pk los adultos kerian cantar, asike yo cante lo mio y me fui para arriba. ahora me estoi kedando en la casa de mi 큰 고모.

hoy senti ke no hice mucho. pero mañana sera mejor. tenemos ke levantarnos bien temprano para salir a la iglesia en la mañana y despues salimos a las montañas para eskiar o lo ke sea.

hoy lluvio todo el dia. aun no nieva. ojala ke nieve mañana. voy a empesar a tomar fotos mañana. voy a tomar foto de todo. ahora tengo ganas de comprarme una camara profesional. kiero una canon.

se me mejoraron los ojos por haber usado lentes desde el miercoles. creo ke es pk descanse mis ojos. pero hoy me puse contactos y poreso note ke se habia mejorado el ojo iskierdo. voy a tener ke dormir sin contactos desde ahora para ke no se empeoren.

al agua pato.

meri kuri

today i woke up at 7 35, even though i had a 1 o clock flight. i slept for about 4 hours because i couldnt go to sleep at night.

there is something about airports and plane rides that i dread. ive been in countless airplane rides since i was born. i must say that it must be more than 100 rides ive been in. what i hate even more, is the smell of the airplanes. i just dont like airports and airplanes. what is worse is that today, at the JFK airport, they lost one of our bags. actually, it was mine. yea. definitely not cool. so we have to wait until tomorrow to find out where it went.

the decent part of the day was the airplane ride. virgin airlines is pretty tight. i think the best airplane in the states ive been on so far. they have a tv, but not just any, its like super high techy. the lights are pretty legit. they have like purple for first class, and a pinkish color for the econ class. they even had free internet on air. which i thought was off the hook. actually, they only have free internet unil the 15th of jan. i think im just going to buy tickets from virgin airlines whenever i travel.

now im at my 둘째 고모's house. everyone is here.
큰 고모's family
작은 고모's family.
there is about 10 cousins right now.
im the oldest -___-
pretty sad. the oldest after me, is my brother's age. there is 3 of my brother's age. and then they go younger and younger. internet makes up for my loner status. if i didnt i would die of boredom. i dont know if that made sense.

everyone said i gained weight. expected.

it rained today. the snow is going to melt :(
im going up the mountains on sunday. i dont know whether to board or ski. i already ski, but ive only boarded once and i find boarding quite difficult.

new york is not as cold as i thought it be.

happy jesus day. (even though people say he wasn't really born in december.)
whatever i dont know.

vispera de navidad

hoy, deberia haber sido un dia donde se celebra. debio haber sido la cena antes de navidad. pero hoy, eso no paso en mi casa. hoy dia, teniamos ke haber comido cena todos juntos, me refiero a mi familia. creo ke nisikiera comimos. no lo encontre gran cosa no haber comido todos juntos pk pense ke igual ibamos a celebrarlo de un modo u otro en nueva york con todos mis parientes. pero lo ke me pego duro fue lo ke me dijo mi mama esta noche.

nunk pense ke a mi mama le importaba tanto el hecho de comer todos juntos el dia antes de navidad. ayer en la noche, mis papas peliaron. y fue por mi culpa. pense ke hoy ya todo estaria bien y normal pero me ekivoke. mi papa siguio con lo de ayer y tb se enojo por otra cosa. mi mama se enojo tanto ke creo ke no comio y se subio para su piesa y se acosto. yo no supe hasta ke llegue a la casa pk estuve afuera casi todo el dia con mis amigas.

cuando fui a verla a la piesa, me dijo ella,

no deberia ser hoy el dia en ke la familia come todos juntos?
no deberia ser hoy el dia antes de navidad. no deberia ser hoy un dia feliz?

me senti tan mal al escuchar esto. casi me salen lagrimas. tan lastimada estaba ella hoy y yo no pude hacer nada mas ke decirle ke lo supere. soy tan mala hija. definitivamente kiero hacer mas para apoyarla y hacerla sentir mejor, pero por lo mas ke trato, no funciona. las ultimas navidades han sido fracasos para nosotros, seria muy largo contar todo lo ke paso en el pasado asike hasta aqui.

nose, pero pk ami? ya se ke debe haber miles otra gente sufriendo peor ke yo. pero igual yo tb kiero mi navidad lleno de sonrisas y sin preocupaciones. cuando sera eso. mañana sera un dia largisimo. ojala ke no haya una tormenta de nieve cuando aterrizemos.

ojala ke mañana sea mejor dia.

deeply fallen.

its been almost one week since ive been home. i ve dont nothing productive since ive been here. not that its bad. ive been chilling at home a lot, which is very unusual. back at berkeley, i thought i was sure i would be spending most of my break hanging out with friends. i feel so lazy right now. i just want to sleep all that i want and just stay at home watching a computer screen all day. jaja. not very good for my anything. this should change after i get back from new york because i have a lot of people to meet.

i just noticed today, that berkeley changed me somewhat. i used to watch a lot of tv before, but since i dont watch tv at all at berkeley, i dont watch at home either. since im constantly out in berkeley, i just want to stay at home when im home. make sense? should.

today, i had a a strong urge of wanting to be back in berkeley. there is only one reason why.

i have 2 options for next year:
1. go to community college.
2. become antisocial and live at the library.

my dad still thinks i play golf. oh my. whatever shall i do now. i have yet to tell him about my situation. im so confused right now. i am most probably going through my almost-twenties crisis. i need someone to shoot me right now.

like cascada's song, i need a miracle.

this is venting time right now like no other.

my internet be slow.
when i am home, my dad always yells at me for the smallest things
why cant my brother mature and be nicer to girls
why is my mom so nice
i dont want to go to new york
my eyes are getting worse. why does my left eye have an infection
why are some korean ajumahs so mean, stuck up, prideful, rude and greedy even though they are christians and go to church
do i like golf? do i want to keep playing?
how do i tell my dad about it.

ive come to realize that in my blog, i sound like a normal person who is apparently emo. i also sound somewhat depressed. so wierd.

should be times of joy. since today is technically the 24th, tomorrow is christmas. a day to celebrate. but im not getting the feel to do anything.

everytime i hear the numa numa song, it reminds me of mike chen. the reason for mentioning it is because im listening to it right now on pandora. i dont think its suppose to be a good thing.

i need strength.

ive fallen. im weak and weary.
Lord, please lift me up.

nada

hoy dia, dormir por 13 horas. orgullosa. si. no hice nada mas ke dormir todo el dia y estar en la compu. no es muy bueno. a las 6 llego mi amiga renata a verme, como no la habia visto mucho durante thanksgiving break. estuvo en mi casa, hablamos por un poco, y despues salimos pk keriamos ir a paris baguette, pero estaba cerrado :(. despues fuimos a hanam chain, para ver si keriamos comprar algo para comer, pero no se nos antojaba nada. en camino a casa decidimos parar en albertsons pk ron tenia hambre y yo keria arrendar una pelicula. arrende the ugly truth. todavia no lo he visto, estoy planeando en verlo muy pronto.

no tengo mucho ke decir hoy. mas encima toi apurada para ir a ver la pelicula. talvez despues añada mas a este post.

back to normal.

i am finally sleeping at a regular time now. or so i hope for the rest of the time being at home. for the past 2 nights, i slept before 12. i never ever did that at berkeley. not even once. earliest i ever slept at berkeley must have been 12 35. today i even woke up at 8 35 in the morning. with no alarm clock or someone to wake me up. that doesnt happen. ever up at berkeley. home is indeed different from college.

today, my time didnt really go to waste. i went to see my friend. she's also korean and from Chile. we grew up together and we knew each other from church. she happened to move up here 2 years after i came, but i never saw her until this summer. she lived in cerritos ever since she came and we were always in talks of meeting each other, but for some odd reason, it never happened. even though she lived so close to me. anyways, she has a store in stanton. its like a dollar tree, but its called dollar bell. i love being the cashier at her store, its really fun. i dont get paid or anything. i just do it because its fun and it helps my friend. did that for 7 hours? after that, her mom bought us in n out. it felt like a hella long day though.

i taught my mom how to use the computer today. and how to send emails. it was pretty fun watching my mom write everything down. from turning on the computer to opening internet explorer and then typing her email and password. sometimes i think my mom is really naive and that saddens me sometimes. she's too nice and gets pushed by others, including me, my brother, and my sister. she tries so hard, but not to get something out of it, but because she really wants to do her best. she gives freely, expecting nothing from the other side. most of the money she has, she always donates to church, police station, fire station, school, world vision, and more, but i forget. sometimes i think my mom might be an almost perfect christian, but then again, no one can be a perfect christian. well duhhh, thats why i said "almost". babos.

im so happy. its been snowing a lot in new york! i might experience another white christmas this year. actually not. im leaving to new york on christmas day, so christmas day is not going to be very joyous because it will be spent in the airport and in the airplane. just going there will take like a whole day because of the time change. not cool. this is not the first time im flying to new york on christmas day though. this happened i think in either 2006 or 2007. i guess as long as i can see snow, its aight.

tomorrow i am going to start going to the ymca. i need to lose weight. i think i already got freshmen 20.

its raining right now. why is it that it rains the most while everyone is sleeping? why why why.

my internet connection at home is so hella slow. why why why. compared to berkeley this connection is crap to the max.

its so hot in socal. why why why. i hate it. is this even winter?!!!! i hate socal's hotness.

solar power. aiya.

afadfasdf

lo unico ke he hecho desde ke he venido a casa es dormir, computadora y jugar golf. digamos ke no es lo mejor ke puedo hacer con mi tiempo, pero supongo ke por el momento esta bien pk recien llegue de la u y todavia me siento muy cansada. partiendo mañana es cuando voy a empesar a ver a mis amigos. igual tengo ke juntarme con arta gente este invierno.

voy a empesar a leer un libro.

cant sleep.

i cant sleep. ive been trying to sleep for the past hour. i dont know if its because my sleeping schedule is all messed up from berkeley or because i slept for 15 hours yesterday. i think i caught up on a lot of sleep. i slept at 3 in the morning the day i got home and woke up at 6pm. i haven't even been able to see the sunlight since i got home.

strangely, home doesnt feel like home anymore. it seems that the tiny room i share a space with back at berkeley feels more homely than this place i am in right now. its just a wierd feeling thats hard to explain, but all in all, i am back to the place i lived in for 4 years. also, when i was back at berkeley, i strangely never missed home. i didnt have a desire to go back, not even for a visit.

back in high school, i always used to fight with my dad. they weren't small fights. some of them were serious. there wasn't a day that went by without having my dad nag at me for something i did. i would say 50% of the times, it was somewhat peaceful and the other 50% of the time, someone would raise a ruckus at home. sometimes my house was just chaos. sometimes i think that i went through hell the last 4 years of high school. it was just a really hard time for me. everytime i fought with my dad, i just wanted to die. as an escape, i constantly thought of suicide. all these thoughts crossed through my mind. should i just jump in the middle of the street and get hit by a car? how many pills do i have to take in order to be in a coma? should i just run away from home and become homeless?

many times, i thought of doing drugs or drinking as a means to anger my parents. i would often tell my dad, why wasn't he just satisfied with the fact that i never went to parties or that i didnt do drugs. he would tell me that was a given. i was shocked when he told me that. a given? i thought dude, i could so do it if i wanted to and that angered me so much, that i really thought of doing it. but at the end i have my morals and every time i considered doing it, God crossed my mind. i was too scared to disappoint Him in this way. i mean i had already done so many times, but i didnt want to leave Him completely shattered. this could be the reason why i didnt want to come back home. my memories of high school are flooded with dark images of my home and family.

i admit that i am a bad daughter. and many times i regretted what i said and what i did, but through all that, God has shown me compassion. and that is why i am still alive and at least a sane person.

nevertheless, needless to say, i love family very much and i had some good memories from high school, but i think that the bad ones just override the good ones.

i wont say that i regret what happened in the past because i believe that everything happens for a reason, but i am sure many things could have been different if i were a little bit more reasonable.

but after all, i am home, and it is nice to be at a place i can rest all i want.

descanso.

finalmente ha llegado este dia. el dia ke he estado esperando por nose cuantas semanas, talvez seran meses. pero ya termine todos mis examenes y por ahora, estas vacaciones, estoy mas ke libre.

cuantos dias me tomara para poder acostumbrarme a dormir a la hora ke siempre dormia. pk ahora esta hecho todo un desastre. todavia no tengo sueño. y nisikera tengo ke estudiar. ojala ke pronto se mejore esto.

ya ha pasado un semestre. se me paso tan rapido. todavia me kedan 7 semestres mas pero igual pienso ke se me van a pasar volando. me gustaria ke el tiempo parara justo en este momento.

todavia no kiero crecer, no kiero madurar. no estoy lista para lo ke me espera en adelante. necesito tiempo para aprender y pensar. todavia no.

hoydia empiesa mi descanso. mañana a dormir todo el dia.

i fail at college.

i took my first final yesterday. asian studies. i had to write an essay. we had 1 hour and 20 min to write it. so from 5:10 to 6:30. i started writing my essay at 5:45. it was 6:15 and i still had 2 more questions to answer. so 2 more paragraphs. in the 15 min i had left, i wrote the worst 2 paragraphs i have ever written in my life. that tells me a lot about my final grade. i dont even have to say anything.

today i took my second final. earthquake. i'll just say one thing. i thought there was going to be 50 questions. 25 consisting of the new material learned and 25 from the previous material. lets just say i didnt even look at the previous stuff, i just studied the new stuff. i got the test and find out that there are 80 questions. 50 from the new stuff we learned and 30 questions from the old stuff. i wont even say how it went.

last final tomorrow for nutrisci. im not even studying right now. i should. i've yet to learn from my mistakes. another all nighter tonight. currently at the y doing this. im hungries. going to get some gypsys. tomorrow after last final, im going home right away. im babos. i should have bought my ticket for friday. now i'll be rushed to pack and leave to the ariport.

my state of mind right now: numb? from studying. finals. stress. not enough sleep. headaches. failure at college.

hard? nah. im just really babos when it comes to making the right decisions.

how many more times do i have to fail to get it right? perhaps never. how sad.

shalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.

ke locura.

no me pude despertar a tiempo para ir a la iglesia. pero sabia ke no me podria despertar. pero como siempre, nada sucede como planeo. :P
me desperte ayer a las 4 y media de la tarde creo, me duche y me fui a estudiar al y. me kede ahi hasta las 10 15 de la noche y me fui a estudiar a crossroads. me kede ahi hasta las 6 de la mañana y ahora son las 8 02 de la mañana, y estoy en stacks, yo sola. decidi hoy, no dormir. por la primera vez en mi vida vamos a ver si puedo estudiar en la biblioteca por 10 horas seguidas. recien me di cuenta ke no he estado despierta a esta hora desde hace mas de 1 mes y medio. a esta hora normalmente estoy durmiendo. en lo ke me convierte la universidad. ya estoy mas ke loca ahora.

me duele la espalda, y creo ke se me chorrean los ojos ahora. mas encima todavia estoy resfriada. ya estoy mas de una semana con este resfrio.

mañana tengo mi primer final. a las 5 de la tarde.
a estudiar-

exhausted.

friday, i woke up at 4 in the afternoon? because i slept at 6 in the morning....i dont remember where i studied the day before. i went to bible study. then i went to study at dwinelle bymyself. i was going to be there originally by myself, but ashton and ester decided to join me. we studied for about hour and a half until they decided to go to crossroads. everyone was at crossroads.. i stayed there until 6 in the morning. went to sleep and woke up at 3 in the afternoon. went to angel tree and then to jcc. kids were cute. then came to crossroads again with sara and once again found many people from gp studying here. i am still here.

its 5: 36 in the morning and im seriously tired. i havent felt this tired in a long time. i think im crashing? maybe not. i cant. i have a final technically the day after tomorrow. but i feel the need to sleep, im going to try to sleep at like 6 15 and then try to wake up at 11? and study one hour before church. i hope it works. i feel that i havent gotten anything done. plus i wasted the 5 dead days because i didnt study at all. sickness. i hate it. im sleepy.



im out.

tengo suerte va hambre! ay dios mios! -hugo hua who sucks at spanish

me desperte a la hora de almuerzo. hoy dia comimos comida muy rica hecha por ashton y connie. la pasta de connie fue eskisito y ensalada cesar de ashton fue sabrosa. me kede en su casa por 3 horas vagando, literalmente haciendo nada y puro gastando tiempo, tiempo ke pude haber usado para haber hecho muchas cosas importantes. al fin de cabo, me fui a mi dormitorio como a las 4, me duche y fui al y, trate de estudiar, pero no funciono asike fui a comer cena.

hoy dia tuvimos un interacambio de regalos con nuestro grupo. yo recibi un libro. no creo ke sea tan malo. lo voy a tratar de leer durante las vacaciones de invierno.

despues de la mini fiestita entre nuestro grupo, decidi ir a estudiar. termine yendo a dwinelle pk supuestamente al principio tenia ke ir a estudiar en la stacks pero taba tan lleno ke vine a dwinelle donde mucha gente se econtraba. son ahora las 4:45 am, la hora ke llegue aca eran las 10:45 pm. ke he hecho durante 6 horas? no mucho. yo tp estoi muy orgullosa de eso, pero ke puedo hacer, todavia no me llega ke estoy apunto de tomar mis finales. auxilio.

hablando de otro tema. ultimamente siento ke mi castellano ya no esta al par. ya no soy la misma de 6 años atras y obviamente no voy a saber muchas de los vocabularios mas dificiles. muchas veces no kiero reconocerlo pero creo ke ya lo enfrente. digamos ke ya fueron hace 4 años atras cuando mi castellano fue sustituido por ingles como mi idioma principal. todavia me gustaria tener el castellano como mi idioma principal, pero ya se ke eso no se puede pk soy mucho mas avanzada en el ingles y mas ke nada, el ingles lo desarolle mucho mas ke el castellano pk aca en estados unidos nunk tuve la oportunidad de desarollar bien el castellano, a menos de ke sean las lecciones basicas ke me enseñaron en el colegio a travez de español 3, 4, y 5. sin duda, esas clases me ayudaron mucho para que no se me olvidara el castellano, pero no pude hacer mucho con eso. pero igual deberia agredecer por lo ke me acuerdo y por lo ke se. pero por esta razon estoy escribiendo en castellano cada otro dia. para ke pueda seguir usando el castellano de un modo u otro.

hoy, voy a tratar de dormir 6 horas, y nada mas ke 6 horas o menos para ke pueda estudiar. tengo ke poder asino me pudro.

buenos dias.

stop it.

today. i woke up better. just congested nose and a man's voice. went to a review session for asian studies. "studied" at the y. annie took me, jo eun and san to gom tang in oakland. i had donkatsu. it was pretty good. i lost my id card again. sleeping over at ashton's.

i must say ashton's house is the nicest place out of all the place's i've been too so far here at berkeley or alameda. i fell in love at first sight. the kitchen is something. i'll personally like the house only if the kitchen is to my liking, my house in fullerton, i chose it, because i loved the kitchen and my parents actually hesitated at first, but later realized that the house was adequate for us to live in. i think they also liked the kitchen. moving on, ashton's kitchen floor is wood, but not any wood, its like this refined kind, just like the one i have back at home. they also have black granite countertops. pretty smooth. my kitchen does too, but not in black. Ashton's bathroom is also really nice. it was recently remodeled, so it looks very polished. the rooms are very spacious and comfortable to live in. place also smells good. i think. my nose is congested, so im not sure. bottom line is. i want to live here. but the only problem is that its a bit too far from everything, except that if gp decides to buy the building at dwight, that means that the new "y" will be right across this place which would be very nice.

im going to fail my finals. i just fail at studying. i actually cant study when im not under pressure, but once its 2 days before my final i'll regret not studying right now. i guess i never learn?

i fail at life.

muerta.

hoy dia, me desperte, aun mas enferma ke ayer. supuestamente tenia ke ir a comer almuerzo con mulan, pero en vez de comer ella, ella me trajo sopa koreana. me siento muy conmovida por lo ke hizo. se kedo en mi piesa conmigo por 1 hora hablando de cosas de la vida. la agradezco mucho por haberme vistado. no creo ke sepa cuanto lo aprecio.

despues de ke se fuera, trate de dormir y descansar, pero apenas pude por todo el ruido de la construccion. ke mala onda. tonces no tuve otra ke bañarme. al toke fui al y y me kede ahi por un rato. al seguir eso, fui a la biblioteca y despues de eso fui a prayer meeting. depsues me fui de vuelta a mi piesa por unos 10 min cuando decidi en ir a la biblioteca. me kede ahi hasta las 2 de la mañana. no fue un dia nada espectacular, mas ke nada fue monotono.

creo ke si sigo asi, me voy a morir. alguna gente dice lo dicho sucede. kien sabe. si muero hoy, no creo ke me voy a morir arripintiendo de nada. ahi vemos.

ke dificil la vida hoy en dia para un universitario. lo lamento por todos los ke estan sufriendo conmigo.

worn out.

i woke up today. sick. coughing. headache. fever. 몸살.
i deserve it. i was kinda wondering when i would get sick. but this is nothing, i guess im waiting for something more intense, but i dont think that'll happen since i have a really strong immune system.

i wanted to study for finals today. got almost nothing done. hopefully i will wake up tomorrow feeling better and really study. i also have to go to stacks earlier during the afternoon so i can get a seat. i went to stacks today at about 9 pm. there were no seats whatsoever. the fact that finals is near is finally hitting me. im somewhat stressing out.

lately ive been having lots of headaches. i think its because i ve been thinking too much. i guess this happens for not thinking enough. but its ok. i would rather not think. i like going to sleep well at night.

i want to start an orphanage, or a shelter for homeless people. i decided that i will do it, no matter what.
chile has a lot of homeless, but i guess not as many as berkeley. as i grew up in chile, i would always pass by the homeless asking for money or food. i wanted to give them money or something, perhaps something that would make them happy, but my parents would rarely give them a coin because they said that bums bought something else with that money. i felt especially bad for the women with kids and the elderly. i really wanted to do something for them, but until now i have definitely not walked the talk.

i really think i have more than enough. i live in abundance of everything i need to live a comfortable life. i have been thinking for many years now, what would happen if some really underprivileged, gifted kid from africa lived in my place. would he make the most out of his life? because i feel like i havent in the least with mine. maybe he would.

what would happen if i died right now. would there be people that would care and cry for me? or would i just be a memory hidden deep inside their minds. maybe i should go out there and make a name out of myself and then die happily ever after.

indeed. i. cannot. be. more. random. than. this.

cough cough.

ya esta empesando a llover denuevo. bkn. me encanta la lluvia. solo si tuviera botas.. seria aun mejor.

hoydia fue un dia en ke 23 personas fueron bautizados en mi iglesia. mientras escuchaba a 7 de las 23 personas presentando su testimonio, no podia dejar de pensar en ke diria en el mio :P algunos de los testimonios me hicieron sentir muy conmovida. casi me salen lagrimas, pero los sosteni, por alguna razon, no me gusta llorar en frente de otra gente. me siento muy debil al hacerlo. fue un dia muy bonito. me alegro de ke mucha gente este aceptando a Cristo Jesus como su salvador eterno. yo creo ke lo hize cuando chica, pero ahora no estoy segura si lo hize por las razones correctas.

los testimonios duraron por mucho tiempo asike al terminar todos tomaron sus fotos y nos fuimos a comer. despues de comer, fui a tratar de trabajar en mi ensayo ke lo tengo ke entregar para el lunes. estuve en la biblioteca por 7 horas? y apenas pude leer 4 capitulos y escribir una pagina. pero no me preocupo mucho pk no es tan dificil de escribir ya ke tengo ke escribir mas sobre de lo ke opino yo.
ya se vienen los dias intensos y llenos de estudio. ya estoy preparada? no en verdad no estoi muy segura. lo ke se es ke tengo muchas preguntas y me duele la cabeza pk no se como se podran responderse estas preguntas.

tengo tos. por ninguna razon, todo el dia hoy en la biblioteca estuve con tos.sera una señal ke me estoi enfermando? ojala, pk enverdad no me importaria enfermarme.

esta noche sera otra noche en ke me la paso despierta trabajando en mi ensayo. :/

stupidness.

im jincha productive. nat. i woke up today at 2 in the afternoon?
i watched this korean drama for 4 hours? yeah not very productive....i havent watched a k drama for more than 5 months? i dont know why i started again...this might not be good, but i think im just going to finish this one and not start another one.
i ate chipotel for dinner with johnny and raymond. watched some basketball.
went back to my room and i dont remember what i did there, then i went over to tina, jaime, cindy's place. lydia was there too. we watched the g live dvd.. i watched all of it. it was pure awesomeness i must say. it makes me want to be in it that much more. finished watching at 1 40 am? i walked by dwight bymyself.. tonight.. its not that scary.. just had to walk in the middle of the road and i found myself feeling so much safer.

all my life ive spelled the word "awesome" like this "awsome". i just found out very recently that it has an 'e' after the 'w'. i just find that fascinating. i still dont know how i amaze myself everyday.

im super super sore. from ice skating. my legs, ankles,and back hurt like a mother father. it aches all over. i deserve it. i fell lots and lots yesterday and the last fall was the best. i fell flat on my back and got the wind knocked out of me. new experience. it was exciting.

i found out yesterday that final paper for ed is due on monday. i thought it was due yesterday. thats good because i didnt even do it, i havent even started. i should though.. i thought i was going to start it today but no can do. i think i either forgot or ... yeah i forgot ..so i think i have to do it tomorrow.no, i dont think. i have to do it.

i like to eat peppero strawberry. yummy. oh i received half a watermelon from a very kind person. that was yummy too.

헐헐 i lost my id card for the 3rd time. if i dont find it i have to get another one for the third time. and its only 2 more weeks of school. yes, i amaze myself again!
i wouldn't get it if i didnt have so many meal points :( but so 아까워.

진짜 college 싫어.

in all if i sum it up, everything i do is stupidness. 해해.
im babos. but that is cool. so its ok.

;)

ya no mas classes

porfin se acabaron las clases hoy. pero para mi, enverdad mi ultimo dia de clase era ayer pk no tengo clases los domingos.
hoydia finalmente puedo decir ke dormi bien. dormir por exactamente 9 horas. creo ke eso me hizo muy bien pk me siento repleta de energia.
hoydia no hize nada productivo.
ah hoydia tb fue mi ultimo dia de workout con el ekipo... ya no tengo ke ir mas :) pero enverdad no tengo idea ke voy a hacer el proximo semestre... jugare golf o no? esa es la pregunta ke me esta matando estas ultimas semanas.
me kede viendo dramas koreanas todo el dia encerrada en mi piesa hasta ke me llamo annie para ke fuera a comer a crossroads a las 6 pero perdi mi id asike no iba ir hasta ke me llamo y me dijo ke vininera no mas pk ella me iba comprar cena hoy. asike fui a comer con mi small group y despues fuimos a bible study.

en la noche.. todos fuimos a patinar en hielo. me cai 4 veces. la ultima vez ke me cai... me cai duro. con pura espalda. no pude respirar por unos segundos. igual buena experiencia. ultimamente me siento muy cansada y con mucho sueño.

la proxima semana no tenemos cole.. haber si empeño con todo lo ke tengo. vamos ke se puede.

ya tengo sueño. iba a escribir mas pero por ahora no pk mis ojos se estan cerrando.

buenas noches:)

not over yet.

estoy muy cansada. ya se vienen los 10 dias de descanso. bueno en verdad no descansamos sino ke estudiamos, pero para mi van a hacer dias de descanso y muchas siestas. pero ojala ke no... pk enserio tengo ke estudiar... a sino me cago.

me gustaria saber pk no duermo.
ojala ke aquel ser ke se encuentra arriba, me este cuidando y dando fuerza para los proximos dias. y ke me dure.

i haven't written anything here in like 4 days.that makes me sad. oh wells. where to start. i came back to berk at 9 in the morning on monday. i dont remember what else i did on monday. on tuesday i didnt go to class and i just remember studying for nutrisci at the y then i went to moffitt and then studied some more at dwinelle. i find myself liking more the fact that i speak spanish. it works wonders at times. i slept at 6 in the morning and woke up at 12 or 1, just in time for the midterm. after midterm i went to y and tried to do my earthquake extra credit. that took me seriously the whole night to do. so the point is, i havent slept for 38 hours. i havent really done that ever. but the thing is. i got it done. oh but i still have a final paper due tomorrow.

cant believe the semester is over. i feels old. sadness :(

next 2 weeks. im going to die. the price for dying? a longboard :)

mi ultimio dia en casa.

hoydia, es decir el domingo, me desperte a las 2 de la tarde pk estuve muy cansada. me dormi como a las 3 o 4 de la mañana estudiando. se suponia ke tenia ke ir a la iglesia con mi familia, pero decidir en no ir este domingo pk en el primer lugar, nisikiera voy a ir a la misa, pk nunk voy a la misa de la iglesia de mis papas, y en el segundo lugar, no conozco a nadie. enverdad nunk hize el esfuerzo de conocer a gente en mi iglesia, pero bueno, eso es otra historia. me bañe a las 3 de la tarde pk mi papa keria ir a practicar golf. tb vino mi hermano.

changing back to english right now, just feel like it. so i hadn't practiced golf for 2 months. the consequences of that were clear after hitting a bucket. my hands were blisterless before, but by just hitting a bucket, my hands became hard, i got huge blisters, and one actually popped and bled like crazy. it also hurt a lot, but i still hit another bucket, just because my dad told me so and i know if i told him that i couldn't hit any more because of this, he would probably rebuke and scold me, and on with jansori. so i hit on. after finishing, we went home.

vjj came and picked me up to go eat dinner. missed her so much. we went to ishine. good gogi :) it was all you can eat and surprisingly the service was so much better than last time. they had this deal for 2 people: $6.99 each person, unlimited bulgogi and sam gyup sal. im actually disappointed at myself, because me and vjj only finished 2 servings. so little. :( whatevers. banchan was really good too. they had my favorite odeng and potato salad.

after dinner, we went to joyce's house. i was really happy to see her. we played with her dog and her mom peeled us some bomb korean pears. we went up to her room and talked a bit. wish we could have hung out more before i left.

came back home and listened to some lectures. i am actually proud of myself for actually have listened to half of the lectures that i was suppose to listen too.

then at 12:40 in the morning i went to jeesoo's house to get a t shirt she bought at berkeley for my friend, but she left so i have to send it to her in ny. i stayed and talked with jeesoo about my week in fullerton and so did she. came back home at 1:50. its so nice to drive at night, when no cars are on the road. you can basically do whatever you want, except passing a red light because there are cameras.

im going back to berkeley in 3 hours? i think my flight is at 7 30 in the morning? i hope i can survive this week because i wont be able to sleep.

God give me strength.

sacrificed my play time.

nothing ever goes according to my plans. ever. not since the moment i came home.
i kept on saying how i was going to study everyday while i was home, even if it was a little on some days, but that went down the toilet. because i flushed it :P but i didnt do anything on tuesday, wednesday nor thursday. i finally started doing some work yesterday night. i was also suppose to eat lunch with some high school friends, that went down the toilet too. why? because i flushed that too. i was also suppose to go snowboarding today at 3, so basically the whole afternoon and would come back at night, but you know what?! that went down the toilet too. actually i sacrificed that one, so i could go study :) that was pretty tough decision, but yee im so 짱 like that, i didnt go. plus car arrangement and everything got a little complicated so i just decided not to go. but i got to see some other cool kids.

chaerie left today :( sadness. i realized today.. or maybe a long time ago, that i cherish her. not not only as a friend, but as like a companion for life (not in the wierd way) and i think i will have a long lasting relationship with her, im even thinking for life. dropped her off at the john wayne airport at 6 in the morning. i just realized i only slept for 1 hour yesterday. that means in 24 hours ive only slept one hour. ok thats chill. i got this. im used to it anyways im only going to be able to sleep maybe 2 hours each day next week.

called emchoh up and picked her up at her house and went to meet john yeun at corner bakery in brea to studys, but i stopped at borders to buy a book for a class. i was suppose to buy the book a month ago :P i have a final paper due next friday based on the book? hooray for that. but good thing is, i got some work done at home! i thought i would actually get none and i was getting worried. i am currently studying, but decided to take a break so my brain wouldnt get poooped. i got another nose bleed today. this is the second time within 2 weeks. never had that happen to me before.cool beans. actually my mom freaked out because when my nose started bleeding i started laughing. she kept on saying to be quiet. i was like what theee. whatevers cool beans anyway.

my eyes are sleepy right now. no. i must 버텨!

so basically, today was another wasted day, except for the 3 hours i was actually productive at corner bakery.

2 nutrisci assignments done
earthquake assignment done

3 more to go......

nada siempre sucede como yo planeo.

hoydia, tenia ke despertarme a las 4 de la mañana para ir al mall, pero como siempre no funco mis planes pk no me desperte. me desperte a las 12:30 de la tarde. y tuve ke tomar una ducha rapidita pk tenia un almuerzo con la mama de la chaerie, sus amigas, y mi familia a las 1. llegamos un poco tarde. llegamos a san gabriel mas o menos a las 1:20 creo. comimos comida muy rica eso si :) era un restaurante japones donde un chef cocinaba al frente de nosotros. era un espectaculo. despues de comer entre a un hello kitty store, muy lindo y keria comprarme una sabana de hello kitty. keria ke me lo comprara mi mama pero en vez de eso, termino la mama de la chaerie comprandomelo. le agradezco mucho pero al mismo tiempo me siento mal jaja pk siempre me compra cosas :)
al seguir nuestro almuerzo, fuimos a comer postre.

altiro salimos al desert premiun outlet mall para ir shopping. nos tardamos 2 horas en llegar desde san gabriel hasta alla. solo tuvimos 4 horas para comprar. :( y yo solo alcanze a comprarme 2 cosas en polo ralph lauren. :( pero buenoo. talvez vuelva al mall mañana o el domingo para comprar mas cositas.

el mall cerro a las 10 asike nos tuvimos ke ir. pero en el camino, comimos mcdonalds. danggg. no he comido un big mac en mas de 3 meses! :P pero estuvo demasiado delishh. eskisito. llegamos a mi casa a las 12 de la mañana. estoy muy cansada pero no creo ke voy a dormir denuevo pk igual me tendria ke despertar a las 5 de la mañana pk la chaerie tiene un vuelo a las 8 30 de la mañana. asike mejor uso este tiempo en estudiar y hacer muchas de las cosas ke igual voy a tener ke hacer en estos dias ke vienen pk enserio, tengo demasiadas cosas ke hacer. y nose pk estoy escribiendo en este blog cuando deberia usar este tiempo para estudiar.

mañana sera otro dia. voy snowboarding. vamos a ver como me ira con eso.

buenas noches.

thanksgiving.

today was thanksgiving. i have lots to be thankful for. :)
i wish i could just express it in a better way. some of the things im really thankful for: my family, my house, my health, my friends, uc berkeley, my life, but i dont appreciate it enough. sometimes i feel like i really dont deserve what i have.

i am also thankful for having justin, james, james mom, chaerie's mom, chaerie over for thanksgiving. i think we had a great meal even though i just ate corn, tomatoes and jap chae. this was my first meal with my family since august.

ive been very unproductive these past 3 days.
i dont know what im doing. i currently have
2 nutrisci assignments due monday.
nutrisci midterm on wednesday.
extra credit and homework assignment for earthquake due thursday.
final paper for education on friday.

i feel hopeless right now. it doesnt get any better, because i dont know when i am going to find the time to study and get work done this weekend at home.

so black friday, im suppose to go shopping at the desert premium outlets/cabazon.
then im suppose to have lunch with chaerie, her mom, my mom, chaerie's mom friend in like alhambra or something. after that i either go snowboarding with ron and michelle or i go eat dinner with emchoh and her budds.

saturday doesnt get any better either. im suppose to meet chancho and ellen for like lunch or something then im suppose to meet umm someone else, but i forgot who. not good. all nighters next week are a must.

i should actually be thankful right now, but all im doing right now is complaining and venting. im sorry. i know i could be making better choices right now.

i actually want to get work done right now before i have to go shopping.
good night. happy thanksgiving.

corte de pelo arruinado

hoydia me corte el pelo. en 3 palabras el corte fue un desastre.
fui a cortarme el pelo donde siempre me lo corto, en la peluqueria donde trabaja la mama de una amiga. antes siempre me lo cortaba bien... pero esta vez fallo miserablemente. cuando le dije ke me lo cortara una pulgada, me lo corto 6 pulgadas. y me corto los layers demasiado cortos y cuando me amarro el pelo, se me cae mucho pelo. y parece ke tengo un mullet. me voy a tener ke amrrara el pelo por 3 meses. keria llorar pero como estoi mas madura, supongo ke no me salieron lagrimas. bueno al menos el pelo crece asike no estoi tan enojada. pero si arrepiento de habermelo cortado. pero hay ke pensar ke todo pasa por una razon. estoy triste eso si triste :(

cambiando de tema ahora estoy en mi casa. llegue ayer a las 9 de la mañana. pero dormi y despues fui a buscar a la chaerie del john wayne aeropuerto. estaba muy feliz en verla. hoydia me desperte y fuimos a comer carne con chaerie, mi mama, mi hermana ay la mama de la chaerie. igual fue bonito poderla haber pasado con la mama de la chaerie ke no la habia visto desde el verano. me da pena ke la chaerie se tenga ke tan temprano.. se va el sabado, me habria gustado ke se kede hasta el domingo en vez del sabado. despues chaerie se fue con su mama a kedarse alojar en la casa de la amiga de su mama. y yo me corte el pelo y despues fui a ver a ron y michelle. con ellas fui al cine. no habia ido al cine desde el año pasado. era diciembre. fui a ver the blind side. no fue tan mala la pelicula. en verdad si me gusto.

sera otra vez hoy, un dia en ke fallo en darme cuenta ke tenia ke entregar tarea. tengo ke hacerla ahora y mandarla por email y decirle a mi gsi ke si me puede dar una oportunidad mas. pero genia soy.

estoy pero re agotadisima. me kiero morir. tengo demasiado trabajo ke hacer para la proxima semana. y si no lo empieso ahora, me voy a tener ke salir de la u pk voy a reprobar todas mis clases. esto no es bueno.

ya por hoy esto sera. aunke kiera dormir, no voy a poder pk tengo ke hacer la tarea ke debi haber mandado ayer. :(

hwaiting!!!!!!!!!

home sweet home.

today i woke up to go to team workout at 10 in the morning. pain in the butt. but at least no more of those until next monday. i took a shower after that and met up with lindsey at the y to go grab some lunch. so me, lydia and lindsey lohong went to ramonas. had their paninis for the first time today. it was pretty delish. went back to the y. ohh. i bought my plane ticket finally. today at 2. there was one time slot left for a price of $39. but its a 6:25 am flight. but that was the only one at $39 all the rest after that started at $99. so im pretty satisfied with my flight. no sleeping for me tonight .. again.

i thought i had nutrisci discussion today and i did my hw and everything, then 10 min after my class started lydia tells me there is no discussions this week -_____-
so i just waited until nutrisci lecture because lydia made me go. after class we met gina and ashton on sprowl and decided to walk to the y together.well actually me and gina went to gbc cuz she didnt have lunch so i swiped her :) im so nice. then we went to y and i think i was ther for 2 hours until i left to eat with my roomate. i had bomb ddonkatsu today :) after dinner we went to moes to see if they had a book i needed, but they didnt. then we met mulan walking on telegraph, she was heading to her friend's apartment on dwight and college by herself so we decided to walk her because it was pretty dark. i dont know why, but i really like walking people to their apartments, dorms, houses whatevers at night. i feel like i can protect someone by doing so. but i do not like to be walked back to my dorm. i feel like i can protect myself and use my tae kwon do skills. i do not want that to go to waste. this is the only reason why i took tae kwon do my senior year!

i have to take the bart tomrow at 4:30 am. i hope i dont get lost and i hope i dont miss my plane.

on another note, TC was pretty awesome. it was also very funny. i enjoyed it very much.

songs i like listening to at the moment:

heartbeat-2pm
너에게 미쳤었다-2pm
my soldier-aj rafael
showstopper-aj rafael
meet me half way-black eyed peas
party in the usa-miley cyrus(i like the song, but not her singing it)
lucky-jason mraz ft. colbie caillat
falling for you-colbie caillat
매력쟁이-Lyn ft. MC Mong
wannabe-epik high
don't stop believing-glee
헤어지지 못하는 여자, 떠나가지 못하는 남자-리쌍 ft. 정인
fotografia-juanes and nelly furtado
and i miss you-the DEY
haven't met you yet-michael buble
where is the love-black eyed peas
lose yourself-eminem.

yeyuuhs socal baby. t-9 hours.

mi corazon no tiene espacio para mas.

no entiendo el amor. no tengo idea como la gente se casa. yo creo ke es una de la cosas mas dificles de hacer. como puede una persona saber si se va a kedar el resto de su vida con esa misma persona. y como sabe uno si la otra persona va ser fiel durante toda la vida. y como puede una persona compartir todo con esa persona. primero ke todo a mi me da miedo. por eso no me pienso casar. el amor es algo dificil de comprender. y yo no pienso tratar de entenderlo. el amor es como una libro en un idioma ke nadie comprende y por eso hay ke desifrar. yo para siempre kedare soltera. :)

odio ke me guste a alguien pk odio esa sensacion. odio pensar en esa persona todo el dia. odio extrañarlo. odio desesperarme por verlo. lo odio todo. por arto tiempo no me gustaba a nadie, pero como la universidad tiene a tanta gente, supongo ke tarde o temprano te guste a alguien pk hay gran variedad. a mi no me ha gustado a nadie desde decimo año. y pense ke no me gustaria a nadie mas, pero ekivocada estuve, pk en la universidad si paso lo ke nunk pense ke iba a pasar. nisikera de mi propia voluntad, me empeso a gustar a alguien. pero lo ke pasa conmigo es ke a mi solo me gusta tal persona por poco tiempo, pero por el poco tiempo ke me gusta esa persona, me gusta mucho. ojala ke ya no me pase esto despues de ke me olvide esta persona.

pero si amo a mi familia, a mis amigos, y a toda la gente ke me hace reir y sentir feliz.

esty segura ke Dios me ha llamado para servirlo a el y solo a el por el resto de mi vida.

christmas is near. i m pretty happy and excited since im going to new york to see my halmoni, cousins, aunts and whatevers. good stuff. i like to celebrate the holidays in new york. its pretty and entertaining plus a lot of fun.

its getting colder at cal :) i is pretty happy about that too. but too bad in socal its boiling hott. im really going to hate the weather there. but whatevers.

when i go back home i have to study. midterms first week of december. uncool. i hate how the semester was so short. maybe i enjoyed it too much. i wish time would just stop for a little bit.

thanksgiving. turkey time. i dont like cooked turkey. only turkey sandwich. sliced turkey i guess, so i dont eat turkey during thanksgiving. @@

today once again woke up at 2 pm.
i wanted to go see the strike. but i forgot there was one today. but i went later at night, at abotu 6 45 ish and ppl were at wheeler. interesting stuff. swat team . police cars. people getting hit on by police. i must say berkeley is an exciting place.

ok im so tired. no more. good nights.

lack of sleep.

so yesterday was a interesting day.
I had team workout at 6 in the morning, which i missed due to personal issues.
I also got locked out out of my building and room because i left my keys in my room. i realized this at 4 in the morning. but its all good because my roomate was still awake. then i just slept, missed my first class, as usual. my second class was canceled due to the strike, but I had to turn in my midterm essay, which had to be turned in at 11 to 11 30. I woke up and I thought i was so screwed because i thought it was like 2 in the afternoon, because i usually wake up around that time and i forgot to turn on the alarm clock. but luckily God loves me so much he somehow let me wake up at 11 11. i hadn't printed my essay out because suzie was editing it all night, so i knocked only like every floormates door to see if anyone had a printer available, luckily someone was kind enough to let me print my essay. it was 11 18 by the time i finished printing it. i ran. no. i sprinted. as i was running to campus, i crashed a biker. we both collapsed and sort of exploded and fell to the ground, but i had no time, so i just told him i was sorry and sped. by the time i got there it was 12 28. niiiiiiiice.
so yeah its all good. God is good.

after all that madness, i took a shower, i was suppose to swipe suzie at gbc or something, but somehow i ended up going to alameda with her. she had to drop off some salad she had made for kelly samonim cuz she was sick. then we went to jenny's apartment because suzie had to drop off salad for her too? i dont know whys. i forget. but we ended up staying at jenny's for a little bit because she actually made us ddukboki for lunch because i had told her i hadn't had lunch yet. dang. i was touched. i also met abigail. she hates me. i dont know what i did to her, but she hates me. oh wells. after that i went back to dorms. and i slept.
i was pretty tired.
at 6 i went to eat dinner with yangpa. we ate at toust. it was some delish boolgogi right there. we talked about lots of things, very interesting dinner.he has some very interesting parents. i tried yoghurt park for the first time yesterday after dinner. its actually pretty good. then we talked some more and then we went to asc. then i went to my room and slept. and then i woke up and went to drop off something downstairs. after that i met up with sen and johnny and hung out.

im happy. im going home next week. i still havent bought my ticket yet for either monday or tuesday, but i think i should buy it today, still its ok cuz the price is still $39 plus tax. im very excimted though.

my cheeks are soft again :) maybe cuz the weather is colder? may be... but i like. my eyes are burning though. cuz im tired? may bee. .. i dont like.

ok time to sleep now and wake up in 4 hours.

good morning.

nocturna.

ohh. asike ahora son casi las 4 de la mañana. pk tengo ke siempre estar despierta a esta hora. nunk he podido dormir antes de las 12...y menos ahora ke tengo ke trabajar en ensayos y tareas. y montones de otras cosas. pero ahora si tengo ke trabajar en un papel ke es para el jueves y no estoi tratando de posponer el ensayo hasta el ultimo dia.. bueno el ultimo dia seria mañana. y mas encima no deberia nisikera estar escribiendo aca. pero creo ke necesito descansar un poco. hoydia me sangro la nariz por la primera vez en la u. igual bkn. creo ke es pk no he estado durmiendo.
pero igual lo raro es ke no tengo tanto sueño. sera pk ya estoi acostumbrada.

hoydia ... falte clase... denuevo... pk me fui a dormir a las 6 de la mañana... y descubri ke tenia un reportaje para hoy.. pero eske habia pensado ke era para el jueves y para asegurarme chekee denuevo y si era para hoy.. asike me tuve ke duchar y trabajar en el reportaje. lo bueno es ke podia entregarlo hasta las 5 de la tarde, asike igual lo tenia ke eescribir super rapido, pero ya eran las 4 45 y no lo habia termindo aun, asike me invente cualkier cosa y lo imprimi y corri como nunk he corrido en mi vida para entregarlo. alcanze a entregarlo :) pero estoi apostando ke me fue demasiado mal pk lo hice muy alote. pero buee. almenos entregue algo.

me duele el estomago, denuevo. las cagoooooooo.

ahora toi en la casa de suzie. y en este momento esta durmiendo y roncando tan fuerte ke no me puedo concentrar. :P a mi tb me gustaria dormir ahora, pero no puedo tengo ke terminar el estupido ensayo. ya se me esta viniendo el sueño. me voy a tener ke retirar ahora pa poder terminar esta custion.

feliz pk no falta mucho pa ke me vaya a la casa.

-----que sera sera.

I miss you like the desserts missed the rain.

sunday was a nice day. i woke up late again. I dont know why.
we played our last volleyball game. we lost. but im ok with it. i had a lot of fun playing volleyball.
i really did. i wish i had played more, but i cant do anything about it because i suck :P
i really want to play next semester. but i dont know if i will be able to. it all depends on one decision i make. i really liiiiike volleyball. jejeje. i have never played in a team where i had so much fun with people like that. volleyball this semester made my first semester of college that much better.

sunday i stayed up all night... doing homework project.. that was assigned 3 weeks ago.... it took me 3 hours to do 2 assignments and 3 hours to do the project. but i did it falling asleep, so thats why it probably took the whole night.

I did some deep thinking yesterday. i thought about some really important things in my life. i normally dont like thinking those kind of deep thoughts. it doesnt suit me. but hopefully i will get it together. im scared that some of the decisions i make right now will hurt me or my family in the future. im one confused human bean.

today was my roomates birthday. man she young. i feels old. she just turned 18. i do really feel old. i hope she had a good birthday. i barely saw her though the whole day and i feel really bad. i just had a very busy day today. i feel as if i should have been with her. i love my roomate so much. i appreciate her so much as a roomate, person, friend, companion, and whatevers. i would never ask for another roomate. i love youuuuuuuu so much jeesoo :) happy birthday.

my stomach hurts right now. a lot. i think i have indigestion plus cramps. not cool.
my hair is really long. i want to cut it so badly. yes i will. next week.
oh and i cant wait for next week. so much to do in so little time.

i think boys are stupid. why do they do the things they do? you know. i can walk to the dorm by myself and i will be perfectly fine. i can fight bums. they got nothing against me. i have my tkd skills. i got myself covered. its all good. but i must say i was really touched today by someone for doing what they did, but still they shouldn't have done that.

lord thanks for your blessings :) i have many .
bye bye. cram time. essay time.

하하하하하하하하하하하하하하하하하하하하하후후후후후후후후후후후 :P

yummy.

desperdicie la mitad de mi dia. me siento tan mal. hoydia supuestamente tenia ke comer almuerzo con dos seniors a las 11 30. me desperte a las 2 30 de la tarde. nisikiera me pude despertar cuando sono mi alarma. y tp me pude despertar cuando me llamaron por cel. me estoi volviendo vieja o ya se me estan comiendo las orejas. me da pena ke los deje colgados.
pero bueno ya no puedo hacer nada sobre eso.
hoydia fuimos a comer cena a sanfrancisco pk celebramos el cumple de mi roomate. pero su cumple enverdad es el lunes. fuimos a japantown y comimos en un restaurante japones. aunke deteste la comida japonesa, me encanta el donkatsu, asike decidi en comer con ellas en el restaurante. peor idea comer ahi el donkatsu. era askeroso, la cosa estaba llena de grasa. solo me comi la mitad del donktasu. despues tomamos fotos y comimos postre. en general, la pase bien.

ultimamente estoy super cansada. kien sabe pk . pero lo unico ke kiero es ke ya se venga la proxima proxima semana pa ke me pueda ir a la casa.

tengo ke dejar de dormir a las 7 de la mañana. pense ke la habia parado hace una semana atras, pero supongo ke no pk ayer, o osea hoy tb termine durmiendo a las 7 de la mañana.

ojala ke mañana me pueda despertar a tiempo para ir a la iglesia pk no he ido en demasiado tiempo.

todavia tengo ke comprarle el regalo de cumple a mi roomate. nose cuando tenga el tiempo de hacer eso.

aun tengo hambre. y al mismo tiempo me kiero ir a dormir.
me voy a ir a dormir :P

la comida es muy rica. pk tiene ke ser todo tan delishhhh.

FRIDAY THE 13TH . COOL BEANS.

finding churches is pretty hard. never really thought that it would be. there is always something you like about a place and then you also find something you dont like about the same place. i guess one has to be satisfied with what is offered. i guess there is no such thing as a perfect church. but for the most part. i really like the churches at berkeley. the churches in socal are somewhat fake to me, but i think thats just me. church ministries are so different from high school and college. it amazes me. i just have to say that college part is so much better. its actually nice to have a "family" in college, i just hope that God can guide me the right way and lead me to a place where i can grow spiritually and mentally.

today i didnt miss any of my tues/thurs classes for the first time in like 2 weeks and a half. i have to say i am pretty proud of myself. but i actualy didnt pay attention for both lectures, so it doesnt count.

I is pretty sad right now. I was suppose to leave on the 25th, but now i discover that the discussion is optional to go to. when i first asked my GSI he said that there was discussion, then 2 weeks later he asks if anyone is actualy coming, and no one is, so he said it was optional. thats not fair, when i bought my plane tickets already. i have an 11 pm flight and i would get home at like 12 in the morning or something. not cool. plus my friend from ny is coming on the 24th, so what the hek would she do for a day without me.
so today i tried changing my flight back a day to the 24th... i was talking with the lady for more than 10min when she tells me that there is a penalty fee of $150 plus i would have to pay for the difference in ticket costs. o_O so not cool. i was like lady, forget about it and hung up. so the plan now is either get a ride on tuesday or buy a plane ticket for a one way, which would cost me aprox. $60. i think im going to buy another one way ticket, but now the issue is whether i should go home on the 24th, the 23rd, or if i think of leaving the 23rd in the morning, i might as well just leave the 20th. but i will probably not leave on the 20th. i am debating whether i should go to my classes on tuesday or not. because i dont even go to my tues/thurs classes anyways right now, so what are the chances that im going to go to my classes on that tuesday. so then i might as well leave on monday? but then i feel guilty going home instead of going to classes. ohh i dont know... i shall do a survey tomrow. but i do have to buy the ticket tomorow if i want to because i think the price will increase. cramps my style.

i got my graded miterm paper for asian studies. not too bad. and i also got my next prompt for my next midterm paper due next week. good stuff right there.

i have to get rain boots and some ugg's. next friday its suppose to rain. 60% chance. but i think i will get them on black friday, so i got me some soaked socks for next friday :D

semester is going by way too fast. college is eating up my youth. i is so jollies.

---------oh tomorrow. the confusion, the sorrow, and the despair :)
ok i am a wierdo. thanks a latte. :P

too much tired now. bye byes.

:(

siempre estoi alegre. eso es lo ke piensa todo el mundo. pero enverdad por dentro, no siempre estoy asi. si me siento un pokito mal, la gente empiesa a pensar altiro ke algo malo me esta pasando en la vida y me siguen preguntando si estoy bien. me molesta mucho cuando me preguntan si estoy bien. por eso nunk puedo mostrar como me siento en realidad pk no kiero explicarle a todo el mundo lo ke me esta pasando y por eso pretendo ponerme una mascara al frente de todo el mundo. hasta asi me siento con mis papas.
algunas veces me estreso tanto ke no lo puedo aguantar. pero al final siempre termino pensando en otras cosas.

ahora en este momento no creo ke me este yendo muy bien en la u. jaja eske me divierto mucho haciendo puras leceras. siempre estoi con gente y nunk me puedo concentrar y hacer mi trabajo, por eso necesito aprender a controlarme o sino ser mas antisocial -_-.
pero bueno al menos aprendi mi leccion, pero ahora voi a tener ke esperar hasta el segundo semestre para poder salvarme las notas. en el segundo semestre voy a tener ke empeñarme caleta en los estudios.

hoydia, no tuve clases por el veterans day. dormi hasta las 12 y despues fui a comer almuerzo con unos de mis amigos. estuvo delish la comida :) despues me vine a mi piesa y dormir por una hora y a las 6 fui a otra cena con alguna gente de mi fellowship.
nose pk, pero me duele la cabeza.

necesito despertarme a las 5 20 mañana para ir a hacer ejercisio con mi ekipo de golf. ke lata.
no me kiero despertar tan temprano. desearia ke ya se vinieran las 2 semanas pa ke pueda irme a mi casa.

ya no kiero escribir mas. estoi cansada.
chaito :)

today was a day.

so i woke up today to go to my 1 o clock discussion to find out that it was canceled -__-
how do i know this? well i went into the class and no one was in there except one girl doing her hw.
so i just decided to go to moffitt to print some of my slides for nutrisci. then i went to nutrisci lecture. after lecture, i went to the Y with suzie :)
i left at 3 50 cuz i had golf workout at 4 30, but guess what, i went all the way to memorial stadium to find out that workout today was canceled too -___-. what is it with todayyyy.

i have never spent so long on a hw as i did today. it took me probably 5 hours to do this, and i didnt even do half of it. suzie did most of it -___-. but it was haaaaaaaard. hardest hw ive had thus far since being in college. but its ok! i finished it at 1:35 am. yayyy.

so happy there is no school on wednesday. actualy it dont matter anyway cuz i wouldnt have gone to class anyways. no wrong. i would have gone to my classes cuz i have mandatory class attendance for my asian studies discussion. i think i dont go to class monday, tuesdays and thurdays. thats so bad.

i had some bomb spaghetti today. courtesy of suzie. man i have to swipe her like a million times now. i owe her like crazy. but its ok cuz i have over 680 meal points left thats bad too because right now i should be at 390 or something like that. well i guess some upper classmen will be very happy for the next couple of weeks.

I feel very wierd now. i havent practiced golf in a very long time. i mean before, golf used to be my life, and i wouldn't have missed a day of practice, but with this freedom in college and the pressure off, i mean it feels so good. but at the same time, it feels very strange because i feel guilty. i dont know where this guilt is coming from, maybe from my parents or maybe from myself. i have to decide whether or not i want to come back to playing golf for next semester. why do i suddenly feel so overwhelmed with decisions.

I have to buy my plane tickets for winter break with my credit card because my dad is being too lazy. but i dont even know when i should come back, so by the time i know, the tickets will be very expensive.

i have beeen eating way too much in the past 2 weeks. i got to stop now. actualy that is not going to happen with thanksgiving approaching and christmas right after it. oh well.
ok this is it for today :)

I just wanted to say that I love suzie kim. she is seriously the best unnie EVER. no more to say.

-----------LIVE. LOVE.LAUGH.------------always.

otro dia.

decidi ke ahora voi a escribir una entrada de blog en castellano cada otro dia. nose pk pero se me antoja hacer eso y mas encima no kiero olvidarme del castellano. dudo ke se me olvide pero, solo para entretenerme lo voy a hacer asi.

hoydia, otro dia muuy demasiado inproductivo. dormi todo el dia. y lo unico ke me acuerdo de haber hecho hoy es comer como chancha. me desperte a las 1:42 y no alcanze ir a la iglesia. eso me apena mucho pk no fui 2 domingos seguidos.

no tengo idea ke hice por 2 horas en la compu. ahhhhh si verdad, estaba leyendo mangas. ahora estoi denuevo a la antigua yo, cuando lo unico ke hacia era leer mangas en el ultimo año de high school. pero estoi haciendo mucho mejor pk ya no leo sin parar. al menos ahora leo por como 2 horas y paro y sigo el proximo dia. pero creo ke solo puedo leer ahora pk ya no tengo ke tomar pruebas pero las 2 semanas van a llegar tan rapido ke nisikera me voy a dar cuenta. y ya voy a estar bombardeada con pruebas.

pense ke tenia tarea para mañana, pero recien descubri ke es para el proximo lunes :)
estoi muy feliz ke me voy a mi casa en 2 semanas y media, pk lo unico ke voy a hacer todo el dia es dormir en paz, pero eso dudo hacer pk tengo ke juntarme con caleta de personas. y el tiempo es corto. solo me kedo por como 5 dias. tb estoi muy emocianada pk se viene unas de mis mejores amiga de nueva york :) va a pasar conmigo dias de gracias :) y no puedo esparar para verte chae!

ultimamente estoi tb muy estresada. es muy dificil de escojer una iglesia. estoi partida entre 2. y la gente en ambos lugares me tratan demasiado bien. algunas veces me siento tan mal pk se ke tengo ke elijir solo una, y me entristece solo en pensar como se va a sentir la gente de la otra iglesia cuando les diga ke no voy a asistir a la suya. :( pero ojala ke Dios me ayude a escojer a la ke mas me convenga y donde yo pueda crecer mejor como persona.

tb le kiero agradecer a Dios por haberme dejado conocer a tanta gente con buen corazon! si no fuera por esta gente, me estaria pudriendo! hoydia, una de mis amigas me regalaron unos guantes muy calentitos y calzones para mi cumple :P no es solo esa la razon pk digo ke me gusta tener amigos, pero realize ke enverdad les importo y ke se preocupan de mi. nose si tiene sentido lo ke dije pero bueeee. lo ke sea. :P

creo ke ya escribi mucho por el dia de hoy :) voy a decir ke voy a ir a dormir ahora, pero enverdad no voy a ir a dormir, pk se ke me voy a distraer y voy a terminar durmiendome a las 4 o 5 de la mañana como siempre lo hago. :) buenas noches.

cool.

Ok. cool. I have a blog now for my personal use. I was debating whether to get wordpress or blogspot and I decided to get both, but decided to stick with blogspot since its easier to figure out how to post posts :P I've never had a blog in my life before. I thought I was never going to get one of these, but I just want to ramble somewhere and maybe someday when I grow really old I will be able to see these again and think back in the day when I was so cool. :P
plus diaries get lost all the time.
I wish I started one at the beginning of college. man, I'm late by about 2 months and a half.

college has been hard. I admit. plus its berkeley. I failed my first midterm in college. thats a good start. but i do admit i play too much. being like this who even knew I would be able to get in here. I never thought, but certainly golf helps you a lot. With my grades I would have never been able to get in here. I also had no extra curricular activities whatsoever in high school because my life revolved around golf. how did i do that. i have no idea.

I feel super old now. I just turned 19 last wednesday. I feel like crying. last teen year left and then change of decade. wow. super scared of that. I don't want to be an adult. I am actually quite scared of growing up and entering the "real world".
this just makes me miss the old days so much. just chillin with friends and playing all the time whenever I wanted and never thought of the future. well actually I am wrong.
when I was 7, right before I went to sleep, I would actually think of my death and what would happen after I died and what would I do after my parents died. now that I think about it, I was a disturbed child. I would also think really hard about the carnival in heaven. thats what i was taught when I little. when I went to heaven, I would be eating cotton candy with God.

ok i would write more but im really tired and sleepy now. im just really happy right now i am done with my second wave of midterms :)
thank you God for letting me survive until now.
but today was super unproductive cuz I am sick. I am very sad I missed the retreat today :(